InterNutter

Challenge #02670-G113: Inspired Desperation? Entertainment!

H: Did you know that you can use Duct Tape to patch your space space suit a pinch?

A: I believe you are trying to deceive me. To make me feel better about the situation you have got us into.

H: Aww. Don't be like that. It works, I promise, I've done it before.

A: That does not surprise me. -- Anon Guest

"We only have soft atmospheric livesuits. They're not rated for micrometeor impact."

"No worries," cheered Human Adam. "I've got a crate of ductape!"

Ordinarily, this would be a nonsequiteur, but from the mouth of a Human, this was a harebrained scheme that had a ninety-eight percent chance of working horrifyingly well and a two percent chance of blowing something up in the process. "This is going to be Havenworlder Safe, right?"

"Uuuuuh..." said Human Adam. Always a danger sign. "Yeah, I can make it Havenworlder Safe. You're at level two so this should be fine. It's gonna be great. Promise."

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Saturday Feast Day

I have had a lazy morning, not even getting out of bed before nine. Gorging myself on some remaining carbohydrates.

The news is full of false claims by the Muppet about how excellent he is, instantly followed by fact checks that say, actually no he isn't. The lack of cases in the US is directly related to the lack of testing.

So in the continuing clusterfuck, the news about the plague itself goes thus:

The virus can persist on surfaces for 24

Challenge #02669-G112: The Immortal Master

Some humans fight with blades, those who live on worlds that allow it, use firearms. Or for those aboard stations and ships, crossbows. Me? I refuse to use any of that. My body is my weapon. Sure I carry a utility knife, don't most of us? But it's never been used to draw blood. With a single blow I can knock a man down, with a well-placed kick I can knock over a being the size of a tree. My hand, small

Friday!

I don't have enough flour to be confident about making bread, but Mayhem is taking up the slack by using all my bread mix to make bread according to the instructions. He's loving it.

I like the fact that none of this bread mix is going to waste. Mayhem is making bread to be proud of, even though I can't eat it.

I've blended my harvests together this morning and made some ENORMOUS sourdough frisbees. When Chaos gets back to school, I'll

Challenge #02668-G111: A Study in Humour

Jokes can sometimes lead into a battle of wits. While normal jokes can be represented as a straight kick or punch, puns act as the roundhouse or the hooks or uppercuts. All can be block if they known or prepare. But there’s one genre of joke many dub as “distasteful”. Dark humour, a sucker punch, illegal moves to some. It is not the jokes themselves are funny it’s is the reactions of those in the receiving end which make the

Getting a Groove

This morning, I over-estimated my harvest and cut up twice as many olives and mushrooms as usual. Nothing was wasted, though. I added them to a quick two-egg scramble, added cheese, and called it an omelette.

Of course, miss Chaos got half of everything, but she didn't want the omelette. Meh. I thought it was tasty enough. Whatever.

I think, this Friday, I will only be making savoury pancakes. The bread flour starter is still getting healthy and I think another week

Challenge #02667-G110: A Chosen Confusion

It is, at best, unwise to mistake these things for each other...

Kindness for Weakness

Patience for Passivity

Caution for Cowardice

Silence for Ignorance

Those who have done so have, almost invariably, learned the differences are vast indeed, and quite often have learned this in a manner whose results ensure they do not ever make that same mistake twice... or do anything else ever again, either... -- Anon Guest

It's almost a joke: A Galactic Citizen and a Deregger arrive at a

These last few weeks have been a long year...

New Zealand, one of the countries with the strictest protocols against socialising, has effectively halted the spread. They're talking about easing off with every caution about returning to the lockdown. Australia's opening up to letting two adults at maximum go and visit friends and family, with a weather eye for outbreaks.

Meanwhile, some creative folks came up with a creepy folksong about the outbreak. In twenty years this will be "traditional" and nobody will remember that it was ever made.

To the

Challenge #02666-G109: Perplexing Perambulation

"Necessity is the mother of invention... Boredom is the father." -- SilverRey

So many inventions happen because their inventor thinks that they are vital. Others occur because they will create a tactical advantage against an enemy. Some rare and interesting inventions happen because the creator had nothing better to do.

Case in point - weird vehicles.

People don't need a bicycle that walks on feet, nor do they need a chariot drawn by crab-like legs. They don't need a powered boat with

Cue the Heist Music!

In order to even try and get decent flour, I have to leave the house at 7:30 in the morning.

Which means I have to at least try to rush this out.

Plus there's no telling what restrictions there may be on flour once I get there. Yes, I recognise that I'm part of the problem, but I also want to make some decent bread.

You know, like literally everyone else is doing these days.

It's raining despite the sunshine, so

Challenge #02665-G108: Temporal Theory vs Reality

In today's episode of "Fun with Wormholes!" we will discuss how most people's family lines are actually Mobius Strips! -- SilverRey

Today in Fun With Wormholes, we explain how it's theoretically possible to be your own descendant. It all begins with one simple graph... An X-Y axis graph where one axis is time and the other is distance. On it, a line is travelling away from zero at a slight incline relative to time.

Here is our hypothetical traveller, moving at close

A lot to unfuck

Mayhem has a job to go to. Chaos has online school to attend. I have a FUCKOFF HUGE MESS to unfuck because we all baked this weekend. I made bread, Chaos made keto-Anzac bikkies with the help of Beloved and I... and Mayhem made bread according to the instructions on the packet.

Turns out bread mix works fine when you use the yeast they include in the kit.

That bread didn't even last 24 hours. It was baked in the afternoon and

Challenge #02664-G107: Killing Philosophy

"Ain't no kill like overkill." -- SilverRey

When there is no diplomatic recourse. When trade restrictions fail. When there are no other alternatives... they send in the humans. A small team, an individual, an army... Humans are sent in to deal with the problem.

Pinpoint accuracy is preferred, but there are other times... regrettable times, when one despot will simply be replaced with another. The revolution comes full circle with another power-hungry iron fist in charge, promoting those who agree with them,

Baking is fun... when you can

Heist plans will be underway for early Tuesday-ish, when I shall journey out of my bubble in the earliest possible hours to lay my hands on some decent darn flour to try and get one of my starters onto proper bread flour and not a mix. I may have to go with plain flour with nothing in it if I can't find the good stuff.

I mostly failed at bread. Things have been improved by putting my doughs into bread pans for

Bread Day Again!

I have perfected some sourdough pancakes with olives and mushrooms. Chaos thinks it's tasty, so I'm taking that win.

I have my wholemeal loaves underway, and some regular flour ones still breeding their starter. It's literally going to take all day to make this bread, and by Monday, it'll probably be gone. My family loves my fresh homemade bread, no matter how flat it is.

I can see why everyone and their kid brothers' dog is making baked goods at home. It's

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Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Challenge #02670-G113: Inspired Desperation? Entertainment!

Saturday Feast Day

Challenge #02669-G112: The Immortal Master

Friday!

Challenge #02668-G111: A Study in Humour

Getting a Groove

Challenge #02667-G110: A Chosen Confusion

These last few weeks have been a long year...

Challenge #02666-G109: Perplexing Perambulation

Cue the Heist Music!

Challenge #02665-G108: Temporal Theory vs Reality

A lot to unfuck

Challenge #02664-G107: Killing Philosophy

Baking is fun... when you can

Bread Day Again!