Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #02441-F251: The Mikado's Song

Puns: a beautiful amalgamation of the language it derives from, and that situation that comes forth. -- Anon Guest

Of all the atrocities committed by the English, I give you one that has passed into the levels of international crime, yet has also passed almost unnoticed by the law. I give you - the pun.

Words are plastic. Meaning is malleable. One word can sound enough like another to make the actual joke hit like a missile. It is a form of cruel and unusual punishment metered out by those smart enough to create them, to those smart enough to understand them. The kind of joke where the punchline is not greeted with laughter, but with moans of pain.

Only Humans could come up with a style of humour specifically centred on the mental anguish it could deliver. One reliant, specifically, on the easy confusion between words. Further, some puns only work best when they are read in text format, and cannot be communicated verbally. This is simply because the words sound so alike that they cannot be a pun in an audio-only environment. Yet, Humanity did not stop there.

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 41 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

It's live!

Ellipsis Addiction is now a thing! And so is the first album called This is Awkward.

If just five people buy this thing, I can get my money back. Yay.

Currently in the process of telling the world.

It's Monday, so the continuing nonsense includes house unfuckening, the daily Instant, and the usual allotment of words in KOSBOB. A process made slightly more difficult by the fact that the Special Key on my keyboard seems to have gone bung.

I use that

Read more »

Challenge #02440-F250: Special Case

A: ok, bending spacetime to your will is very dangerous and it can kill you

B: you do it all the time and you just did it right now to grab your coffee mug

A:......... I’m a special case -- Anon Guest

"What exactly makes you so darn special, then?" Arloest demanded.

"Well, for starters, I've been working on this for seven hundred years," said Thalemoor. "Second, I'm actually a Silver Dragon. I'm basically a cousin to one of the oldest

Read more »

Machinations in the Works...

My "band" Ellipsis Addiction has an album launch happening thanks to CD Baby. It's costing me $50 (almost) to put it out there so if five people actually buy it [album price $10] then I can recoup my losses.

And yes, there is no such thing as a free music distribution platform. Sure, you can post it on Soundcloud, but... Soundcloud will only do so much for free. Boo.

So yeah. This is me, going through more official channels. Well. Official for

Read more »

Challenge #02439-F249: All Perfectly Reasonable

Just because I have demonic powers doesn’t mean that I’m a bad guy, and I have valid reason murdering 36 people. -- Anon Guest

"Was it the voices?" said Lady Anthe.

The Warlock smiled. "You mock me, but you can't understand. Ardnassac can remember the future, so he bids me to alter it for a better world. There's so much disaster that each and every one of those people could have caused. Averted now." A smile that was so deep

Read more »

Dangit...

I had fully-formed plans to go nowhere and do nothing. BUT...

We're out of cream. We're out of cheese wedges. We're almost out of ice cream. We really should restock the seaweed supply. The kittycats need more gooshie foods... and I don't have money for all of it.

Sigh.

Beloved is out on work today and will be having a day off later in the week because Spring Carnival is a bitch.

Tomorrow, luck being with me, I shall go out and

Read more »

Challenge #02438-F248: A Perfectly Normal Chip-shop Keeper

Too many of the one name so, Evans the milk, Evans the bread and Evans the dragon, nice man, doesn't play Rugby though. -- Anon Guest

There's always an Evans family in any given village in Wales. Often, there's more than one Evans family in any given location in Wales. It's a very popular surname. In order to distinguish Evanses apart, there are associated eke names. Additional surnames, sur-surnames if you will. You get names like Evans the Milk - the Evans

Read more »

Welp...

Exam schedules have Mayhem going into school closer to the afternoon than the morning. I'd better not get a text from the office about this.

...I'm probably going to get a text from the office about this.

Still, there is today's exam, then two more on Monday and Tuesday next week, then he has allegedly the other three days to slack offski. Supposedly.

I'm trying to cram my work into those interesting time windows, but I have my doubts about my ability

Read more »

Challenge #02437-F247: Looking For the Light

The human had seen his entire ship destroyed. It had been a sneak attack, an ambush. He fought for hours, it felt like months to him, but in the end, the pirates had overwhelmed them by sheer numbers. The only reason he survived was because one of his crewmates had done a "hail mary" maneuver and jettisoned an engine that had gone critical. The pirates were so badly damaged from that explosion that they were no longer able to go after what

Read more »

Early Start

So I went to sleep early because I must have worn my brain out, yesterday. After all, I did all the Patreon stuff, the Instant Story, my Wordpress Wednesday, and the five hundred words. I had just enough juice to watch some Critical Role and write a few lines of fanfic before I just wore out.

As a direct result, I had enough sleep at 2:30 AM. Fun. After half an hour of convincing myself to actually get up (COLD!) I

Read more »

Challenge #02436-F246: A Concerning Countdown

I am a big fan of your "Humans are Space Orcs" Series, I read them every chance I can get. I would love to see this one for one of your stories. A deathworlder, a human, has been living with a Havenworlder as his bodyguard for quite some time. He is a scientist and was working with ways to extend a Human's lifespan and she has always been willing to volunteer for his work. Even when she was warned it might hurt.

Read more »

We're back!

Once again, the internet outage was just long enough to be homicidally annoying. I usually give the nice peeps in charge of our interwebs until the next day to get the digits out of their orifii, and it actually works.

Plus, let's face it, I was busy as hell during most of yesterday.

Mayhem is back to school and so is Chaos, so I might just have a time window in which to record some stories and maybe edit some Inter-Mission for

Read more »

Challenge #02435-F245: The It Factor

As a Havenworlder the stuff in space is pretty scary, but I like trying new things. Asking a human to play "tag" was the worst decision of my life. -- Anon Guest

Humans are a walking paradox. They are level four point five Deathworlders, and are the most warlike species known in Galactic space, yet they are also the most caring and considerate cogniscents the Alliance has ever known. They're social creatures, requiring a modicum of positive physical contact for proper mental

Read more »

Welp... Today Sucks Already

So. Mayhem sick at home. Me due to see my shrink. A plausible time window in which I could record and edit Inter-Mission but there's the whole issue about the interwebs being down. Again.

Just what I needed. Another absolute pain in the butt. Thanks. Fresh-made and ready for the anguish.

I'll get things sorted somehow, even if it is a pain in the butt. For instance - using my phone as a Wifi spot gets this message to you, my dear

Read more »

Challenge #02434-F244: For Dreams Behind Bars

Dimethyltryptamine, a "Class A" drug that is illegal across the world, but not in some country and states. An potent Psychedelic that can make you believe that you can warp reality. The funny thing is, it is created when we dream. -- Anon Guest

Dimethyltryptamine. Quite the mouthful when you're chasing that high. Some call it DMT, some call it God Complex. Some call it Dream, because it is literally the stuff that dreams are made of. The brain makes it naturally

Read more »