Amalgam Universe

A 1954-post collection

Challenge #03926-J274: Domestic Drama

The human goes to their cat wearing the equivalent of chainmail and has a very tiny scissor in their hands. When their friend looks as them quizzically, they see the cat HATES getting its claws trimmed. But, necessary evils, unfortunately. -- Anon Guest

The Humans are full of weird sayings. A favourite of Human Bruk was, "It's better to be prepared than be embarrassed." And that made the rest of the crew on the Halcyon Curiosity wonder why their Human kept the modern equivalent of an entire chainmail suit.

Until it came time to groom his cat.

Preparation for which included the aforementioned suit, some catnip, the expensive kitty treats, and some truly hefty kitty tranquilisers. Companion Jupp entered after the tranquilisers, but before the treats. Human Bruk was in his chainmail, holding his cat in an assortment of towels, and very carefully using a set of special clippers on each of the cat's feet. At each snip of the clippers, the cat would vent a howling growl as it continued to bite whatever parts of Bruk's anatomy that it could reach.

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Challenge #03925-J273: One of Our Own

A Vorax ship holds a shock to the humans, another human. A female who was raised from infancy by the Vorax. She's as fierce as they are. -- Anon Guest

Peace rarely happens all at once. There is no universal celebration when the Evil Overlord is vanquished. There is no worldwide breaking of chains when the fascist is hanged, or meets a lonely demise while hiding in a bunker from the revenge of the righteous.

Some are kept unaware of their new

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Challenge #03924-J272: A Breath of Fresh Air

On the planet, many of the population were sick due to the badly polluted air. One elderly individual, a lung disease causing them to cough blood, living in the streets, crawls to Sunshine and Jay asking the two kill them as they're hurting so badly life isn't worth it anymore. -- Anon Guest

"You're here for them, aren't you?" said the woman who Jay had loaned their mask to. It wasn't improving anything. "The ones in charge?"

"Yes," said Mr Sunshine. "They

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Challenge #03923-J271: Good Game, Friend

The massive, plated, deathworlder asked to fight the human. The other humans warned their friend to go easy on the being. The being sneered at the soft, squishy, opponent. They learned that humans are... a lot more dangerous than their soft, smooth, appearance, with no fangs or claws, make them appear to be. -- Anon Guest

No matter how big and strong you are, there is always someone who can whip your ass. There is, as the saying goes, always a bigger

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Challenge #03921-J269: Optimal Performance Issues

The human had trouble staying on task. They were constantly distracted or would set their work aside "just a moment," and end up having to be reminded, albeit gently, of the work they still had to do.

(ADHD is more common than people think.) -- Anon Guest

[AN: I don't have ADHD, but I do a remarkable impersonation thereof. I am willing to be wrong about this and therefore welcome any input with ADHD people who know the experience better than I]

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Challenge #03919-J267: Almost Everything Proof

A person invents a new livesuit that is damn near like a miniature shuttle. The prototypes were being shipped for full testing when an unexpected obstacle hits the old clunker of a ship with very few working lifepods. Good thing that the 15 prototypes were there, and actually worked. -- Anon Guest

Livesuits, as the name might suggest, are suits that help the wearer live. Most are made for emergencies and it's generally a good idea to have one on or otherwise

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Challenge #03918-J266: How to Join Pax Humanis

She went to the CRC and asked, of all things, to join Pax Humanis. She did not want therapy, though she knew she needed it. She wanted to kill ones like the ones that had done her harm, so that others would not suffer the way she had. -- Anon Guest

Lots of people think that joining Pax Humanis gains one a license to kill. Rene was one of those people. Once they were free from their Deregger homeworld, and free from

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Challenge #03917-J265: Five Ends of Them Are Pointy

Wutu's transport was attacked. Deceptive, Dessie, now well grown, was laying near its owner purring. But the pirates learned quickly, that the cat had learned to guard its owner against hostiles, and be gentle toward friendlies. They'd live, but would definitely need quite a lot of medical care. -- Anon Guest

Of all the incontrovertible laws that governed the universe, there was one that Humans insisted be upheld. Once a cat is on your lap, you

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Challenge #03914-J262: Lots of Fries With That

Several Thranityr invite a near-army of human chefs and their assistants to their homeworlds. They have only one request, teach us how to make foods that will fill a belly fast and help us feel full for a longer period of time. The entire species are surprised at how excited the humans are for the experience. -- Anon Guest

Thranityr were possibly the most infamous Deathworlders known to the Galactic Alliance. Until Humanity introduced them to Unsuitable Food, they were most well-known

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Challenge #03913-J261: The Function of Finance

"You could be making eons!!"

"Why would I? I make enough already, and the elderly are safe, and end their days, here, in peace."

"These are resorts trillionaires would pay through the nose for!"


"You're letting plebians and leeches use it!"

"They're living, cognisant, beings."

"I just don't get it!"

"You're a Deregger CEO, you never have."

"Okay then Smart Guy, teach me how you're rich but doing this??"

"Alright, no problem." -- Anon Guest

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Challenge #03906-J254: Running Off

The human was found running the special racing track all hours day and night. When asked why, they were honest, it was the only way they could think of to help control their temper after a bad fight. Problem is, the human tended to run the track, until they literally collapsed. -- Fighting Fit

Their Human was fast. Special training, they said. Flitz could be found there when they could not be found anywhere else, and Companion Pwyll was still trying to

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Challenge #03904-J252: Lost and Found

They had been a CEO, they fled their planet and smuggled themselves aboard the ship of a galactic before it took off. Why? They'd been forced to be a CEO by their very arrogant family. They wanted a real life. Despite being insanely wealthy in their world, they wanted real wealth, not... that. And a shoulder to cry on. -- Anon Guest

The first clue was that they were in better condition than any of the others who had found a way

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Challenge #03903-J251: Catharsis Exercise

"What's that human doing with all those blades?"

"They're going to go and calm down."

"I .......see.... so... what are they going to do with them?"

The counselor points to a door marked "Rage space" and opened it to show a knife-throwing range.

"Like I said, going to go and calm down." -- Anon Guest

Companion Burd watched the procedure from the safe side of an observation window. Human Duke printed out some pages of cheap flimsy with images and words on

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Challenge #03901-J249: Convergent Primate Studies

A ship of scientists, both human and galactics, came upon a level 4 deathworld, with some level 5 areas, that was suspiciously like prehistoric earth. What happily surprised the humans, and horrified the galactics, was that the primates were nearly an exact match to homosapiens! What would they be in a few hundred thousand years? -- Lessons

[AN: I'm taking them a little further back than H. Sapiens. There's some interesting evidence to suggest that hominid civilisation goes as far back as

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Challenge #03898-J246: A Slightly Deeper History Lesson

"Why do you throw bird seed and blow bubbles at weddings?"

"Humans used to throw dry rice, but that would swell up in the crops of birds and make them very sick or even kill them. This is a lot safer." -- The New Guy

"There's also confetti that will grow wildflowers, but the park wouldn't let them be part of this ceremony."

"Some ceremonies just flat-out throw bird food suitable to the locals. As long as it doesn't stain the celebrants'

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