Amalgam Universe

A 832-post collection

Challenge #02206-F0165: Microscopic Passengers

The Aliens in Board learn that one of the Human-Crewmembers has Herpes.

Fact: More than 3.7 Billion People have it. XD -- Anon Guest

"It's my duty to inform my captain and crew that I have a class two plague known as Herpes. I'm on a permanent course of antivirals to prevent its propagation."

Captain Gorthax, mildly alarmed, consulted the free infonets and read, GalStand Medical Primer for Newcomers: Subheading - Plague Disease Classes and resulting mis-assumptions.

Like most numeric classifications, the higher the number, the more 'intense' or 'severe' the classification. Excepting the Esper scale, because Humans concocted it and value numbers in an inverse scale. Attempts to remedy this have been counter-productive. Thusly, it is the exception rather than the rule.

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Challenge #02205-F015: Correcting Memetic Foibles

European Humans have Something around 2 % of DNA from the Neandertaler in them.

Humans share 50 to 80% of their DNA with the Common Banana.

All that separates US from Apes are roughly 1- 5 % genetic differences.

The Aliens learn about these Facts for the first Time.... -- Anon Guest

"A common mistake in early DNA studies is mistaking content for relationships. Some are indicators, like the two percent of DNA that some Humans share with Neanderthals. Or the ninety-eight percent that

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Challenge #02204-F014: Complex Organic Chemistry

Class five Deathworlders have Problems dealing with a planet which Flora contains a mysterious Plant (Wink Wink).

For them it is as deadly as Arsenic is for us.

Their reaction when Humans Line Up to colonise it -- Anon Guest

[AN: Going with convergent evolution because the chances of weed happening exactly as it happened on Earth, on another planet, are astronomical at best]

Things had been going badly for the latest J'krog colony. The world, verdant and unclaimed, had promised a

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Challenge #02203-F013: Pride Goeth...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M -- Anon Guest

[AN: Offensensitivity warning for anglo-saxon four-letter words in the lyrics]

If there is any sign of a sickening nation, it is national egotism. Every time a nation gets a metaphorical big head, it is destined for collapse. Britannia did, once, rule the waves. Then it's empire collapsed in a rash of independence after the nation nearly collapsed due to two multinational wars in rapid succession.

America, once, was a great nation. Then

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Challenge #02202-F012: Examining Uncertain Truths

Humans have had alot of time and reasons to think up Gods and Dieties.

How would they(aliens) react If they learn about the flying Spaghetti-Monster-Religion or the disturbing Cult(ure) of Cthulu.

Or even worse.... Boy-bands and their fanatic Fans !

Have fun :-) -- Anon Guest

Welcome to Xenotheology, the most complicated course in the field of omnistudies. We begin by acknowledging that all faiths are true, for interesting values of 'true'. You will come across materials in this field of

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Challenge #02201-F011: Quantity Control

Havenworlders learn about Meat consumption, Animal-Stocking and The USA-Attitude of "more equals better". -- Anon Guest

Havenworlders are aware of carnivores on an intellectual level. Many understand that one species' nutrition doesn't work for all species. Some Havenworlders are insectivorous and adorably claim to be mighty hunters before they meet Deathworlders.

What surprised them is what some Deathworlders did in order to obtain meat.

"So. Since your kind invented agriculture, you attempted to farm meat like you farmed plant products," said Kiki,

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Challenge #02200-F010: Mor Daka is Bad

Aliens learn about the Atomic Bomb.

"You use WHAT to BUILD A BOMB!?"

"cold war.....Cold War, are you shi* me?"

"YOUR SPECIES HAS HOW MANY OF THESE DOOMSDAY-DEVICES?"

"WHAT do you mean, they are STILL being Used ?!?"

Imagine a shattered Class 6 deathworlder learning about this.

Imagine how Havenworlders would react ^^ -- Anon Guest

[AN: Class 6 are purely theoretical, in an environment that would be hostile to most known means of evolution, so I'm going with Class 5]

"I wouldn't

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Challenge #02196-F006: Mutually Assured Social Destruction

A Havenworlder calls their human companion annoying and embarrassing pet names in front of other humans. -- Anon Guest

In every spaceport, there is a minimum of one place where the Spacers go to bend an elbow, tell tall tales, and possibly gain a bedmate or two for some haptic rewards. Such as it was with The Greasy Dive Eat Drink, where a Human calling themself Jeg was holding court to a bevy of attractive and interested fellow Humans.

"So there I

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Challenge #02194-E365: Won Family by Combat

It's the nice, sweet, quiet ones that never argue that you should be afraid of. -- Anon Guest

They thought the Human was docile. Quiet and apologetic, they assumed that they had been 'trained'. The Human certainly acted that way. Always eager to please. Always nice to the point of being excruciating. They thought that Human Zie would never be violent.

They were wrong.

The thing about Humans is - even the soppiest milquetoast has their line in the sand. The point

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Challenge #02192-E363: Operating Soundtrack

The ship's human brought a ukulele on board, now they've infected the gravity drive. -- Anon Guest

Many Galactics assume that Humans are naturally musical. The fact is that it rather depends on the Human, and the truth of the matter is that a Human involved in jobs that require waiting for something to happen will take up a hobby for something to do. Some take up fibre crafts. Some take up art forms. Others... take up instruments.

Many wish that the

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Challenge #02191-E362: Specific Remembrance

The Galactic Council learn about ANZAC day -- Anon Guest

Humans are Deathworlders. They have such an enormous warrior culture that baring their teeth is seen as being friendly, and can get hostile when others fail to follow suit. Thus it is surprising to learn about assorted memorial days. War, they reason, is a common occurrence on Deathworlds. They should be as unmarked as the average rainstorm.

Then they learned about the Great Wars and the immense chains of stupidity that almost

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Challenge #02187-E358: Mechanics of Recovery

The sheer existence of the various characters Jim Henson and his protégés created, both Muppets and Creatures. From highly stylised characters in a children's television show that still stand up today and whose show is still at the forefront of teaching children decency and tolerance, as it has been since its first season, but were never meant to pass as flesh-and-blood beings (no matter what so many children know in their hearts to be true, that despite not being flesh and blood,

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Challenge #02186-E357: Prowess

One more Queen prompt, not BoRhap-related this time. The story of the recording of "The Show Must Go On", the last song Freddie recorded for the band, barely a year before his death. He was so ill when the band recorded the song in 1990 that Brian May, who wrote the melody and much of the lyrics, after he and Freddie had sat down and determined some of the crucial lyrics Freddie wanted in there, had concerns as to whether he was

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Challenge #02185-E356: On and On With the Show

So I saw Bohemian Rhapsody recently, and while I was SO ANGRY at their handling of queer issues and history in it that I was on the verge of walking out at one point, other parts moved me to tears and still others had me ready to punch the air and yell, "Hell Yeah!" (I didn't, I was in a film theatre - I have SOME manners, after all).

Because of this, I am having Queen and Freddie Mercury-related feels, and have

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Challenge #02184-E355: The Chaos Creator

Third Bohemian Rhapsody prompt.

This video. The Muppets are always an outstanding technical achievement when they do anything more complex than stand there and open and close their mouths, and it is a tribute to Jim Henson that his techniques have been used for such a wide range of media, from Sesame Street all the way to big-budget films like Star Wars and Labyrinth, to a TV series like Farscape that wanted a higher level of verisimilitude for their non-humanoid characters than

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