Amalgam Universe

A 1255-post collection

Challenge #02768-G211: Disturbing Deathworlder Deeds

Ki'it thought ze was ready. Ze had survived Human Kev's "oops"es, learned to anticipate Human Lin's "I know what I did wrong!"s, and even managed to halve zer dosage of calming medication after a half dozen of Human Ren's "uh-oh..."s.

This, however, was zer introduction to the dreaded, "Wheeeee!!!! Again!" -- Anon Guest

[AN: You are of course free to use any gender-neutral pronouns you love in prompts... it's just that I cannot conjugate anything else than ze/hir. The rest of them just confound my poor old noggin. I am trying, but for writing, I'd rather stick to ze/hir. Apologies for the offence, dear readers]

Living with Humans is an exercise in unexpected stress caused by untranslatable noises. Not words, but nevertheless sounds that had significant meaning. Humans insisted that they didn't have a tonal language, but they could infer meaning out of "Hm" or "Um" or other nonverbal noises. Ki'it was learning to do that, since it was vividly important to know what each set of non-word grunts could possibly mean.

"Uh oh," was a trouble grunt. It meant, loosely speaking, "Something has gone wrong and might yet go catastrophically wrong." Which was a lot to cram into two syllables with a glottal stop.

"Uh oh," in Ki'it's experience, meant, "Make sure my livesuit is ready for urgent activation because the crazy Deathworlders have messed something up again." Again, a lot to cram into two syllables, but as warning signals went, it was very efficient.

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Challenge #02767-G210: The Problem With Pib

More Human Pib, please. -- Escla

[AN: Referencing this thing BTW ]

Havenworlders were on edge, some were seeking out places to hide. Some were seeking out places where something might be hiding. The entire crew of the Jaunty Merchant were operating under a Code Giggle.

Human Pib had escaped.

Humans Orgo and Lun were checking their entire quarters, and every nook and cranny therein. They were doing this for the fiftieth time since Human Pib had "turned up missing". The fact that

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Challenge #02766-G209: Communication Block

A havenworlder has a soft, higher-pitched, voice and the human only catches half of what they say most of the time. They are both heading to a medical hub, the human to get treatment, the havenworlder to do their internship. While there, the human explains about that annoying ringing in the ears called tinnitus, and how humans who have accidents, listen to too many loud noises, or just start to get elderly, can sometimes end up with hearing damage. -- Anon Guest

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Challenge #02763-G206: Makes Sense?

A: Why everyone is releasing stress hormones?

B: oh, it's just turbulence -- Anon Guest

Humans are unfathomable. Sil had been seated near this one since Faranaway Station, a process involving a lot of stops and hazards, and at least two journeys through Hyperspace. Now that they were on their destination planet, the Human Qin was exhibiting high levels of stress.

Sil checked. They still had the same destination area in their itinerary. "What is the matter? Why are you exuding stress

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Challenge #02762-G205: My What Big Ears...

"OW! [Fornication] [excrement]! What the [undesirable afterlife] did I just step on?!" -- Anon Guest

Some toys were made to be weaponised into anti-personnel measures. One has, by logic and design, a set of small, modular, interlocking bricks designed to be parts of a creativity toy for children. Children are renowned for not putting away their toys, or not being very vigilant at doing so. There are, to children, much better things to do than looking for tiny building blocks.

Most adults

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Challenge #02760-G203: Biological Hazard

"Attention, intruders. Your attention, please. This is the ship's human. I am sincerely sorry to inform you that my Aunt Flow has come to visit me for Shark Week. You have ten minutes to get out of here before I come over there, rip you open with my bare hands, and feast on your internal organs to replenish the vital materials that my body has decided to purge via my reproductive system. I haven't been able to find any pain relief that

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Challenge #02759-G202: Empirically Tested

I would love to see Mythbusters in Space! You know, where some humans have seen the original old videos of it and decides to do a new mythbuster series based for their era? It'd be cool! -- DaniAndShali

[AN: In light of recent losses, I have debated having a Human Grant in this one and... honestly... I didn't want to risk disrespect to his memory]

"We all know how Human drama has historically portrayed asteroid fields," said Human Steve at a planning

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Challenge #02758-G201: Organic Pest Control

A shipment of fruits and plants that had gone through a DeRegger station was opened in a very large Alliance station. The plants were bound for a new section that had been added to the botanical garden there. Unfortunately, an unwanted guest came along with it. Within a month or so, that dreaded high-pitched sound that all humans from Earth knew all too well was starting to be heard. An invasive pest that bred rapidly anywhere there were pools for it to

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Challenge #02757-G200: Say it With... ????

A xenobiologist decided to study the mating behaviors of many other races from the the weakest havenworlders to the strongest deathworlders. However, when it came to ... ah... HUMAN mating behaviors, well, things just got weird! -- DaniAndShali

It was the study of centuries, greatly aided by just hanging out in various public zones of crossroads stations and people-watching. Of course, the more invasive aspects of the study were a matter for each species individual fictions and documentaries. This study was about the

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Challenge #02756-G199: Oh Marvelous Me

I'm sorry to add to your already heavy workload that is your Prompts. But I would really like to see Unununium Jones on her stellar yacht get her just deserts. (From Prompt #02605-G048: Atomic Element Number Six) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link thanks to DaniAndShali <3 Bless you for being helpful]

Life, the saying goes, is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat. That saying was certainly true of Uni Jones. She

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Challenge #02755-G198: Five Under Five

There were four of them. They were definitely human, and the biggest was still less than 1.5 sidu tall. Probably. The biggest one was also at the bottom of what could only be described as a pile of babies. The second biggest and the smallest were using the biggest as pillows. Those three were asleep. The second smallest was reclining on the second biggest, and giggling at a repetitive song accompanying dancing cartoon fruits and vegetables playing on a tablet.

This

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Challenge #02753-G196: To Win By Technicality

In arguments it’s okay to swear. Usually many times your words must be quick witted and sharp like a rapier, other times, you just need bash your enemies skulls in with the metaphorical folding chair to get you point across. -- Anon Guest

Arguments are peculiar things. Some people believe that the winner is the one who remains calm and logical and debates all relevant points with scientific sources, and the loser is the first one to drop a sample of

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Challenge #02752-G195: For the Thrills

The human is sitting with aliens who study the weather and they show some old videos, first giving offensensitivity warnings, of human storm chasers. They explain the jobs of the storm chasers, the dangers, and what was learned from those brave men and women who sometimes lost their lives in the pursuit of scientific discovery. They also explained of storm-tourists. Those insane adrenaline junkies who would go with storm chasers to catch a glimpse of storms like tornadoes, to be able to

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Challenge #02751-G194: You and Your Hobbies

The human got a job at a rather busy space station as an IT person and as a structural engineer. They did a lot of work with computers and with keeping up maintenance on this place. But when they signed the contract, they had an unusual clause, one that, it was discovered, they always asked for no matter what place they worked. Their quarters must be at least twice to three times the size of normal crew quarters. This was not too

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Challenge #02750-G193: What Evil Sows...

Human's blood is a well-known weapon. Full of leucocytes ready to protect human body from disease and foreign invaders. While used on other forms of life it can act like acid; burning and destroying skin. Blood isn't a cheap thing, because selling it is forbidden everywhere. But black market found a way to produce enough blood to gain on it — blood farms. Cages where humans are drugged so they won't fight back. Everything begins to fall apart when one of farm workers

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