Anxiety

A 26-post collection

Friday, Day 1, Gearing Up

Plague news: NO NEW CASES! Seventy-nine total active cases, with twenty-one in hospital and one in the ICU.

Anxiety is at a peak here in the household as today we PLN to get some final gussying-up before we drop the big reveal tomorrow. That will be happening after household unfuckening and maybe after Chaos returns from school.

I'm still being gentle with myself until all reasons to be panicking are dealt with. One way or another. Stress is hell on inspiration.

I'm trying my best.

In the news:

  • Freedom plan for Vaxxed Aussies
  • Knomira teacher forces scores of students and families into super quarantine
  • Taliban fuckshittery
  • Nicole Kidman is enough of a Superstar to skip out of the quarantine procedures that keep everyone safe. Can you say "bread and circuses" kiddos?
  • Plague-related border wars resume between Queensland and NSW
  • Scumfuck posed as a health worker and threatened a woman if she didn't perform sex acts. Charming
  • Anti-vax parents perish of plague, kids orphaned. Dying wish was to vax their kids
  • Knomira in Sydney caught on camera being a dillhole

And now I publish my Instant, try to work on my novel, build part of a board, and try not to descend into an anxiety spiral because of potential nonsense encountered in an uncertain future.

No pressure.

Challenge #03077-H169: Constant Vigilance

A Companion notices that the ship's human's livesuit is picking up on wild, unusual fluctuations in hormones related to emotions and high stress. On questioning, the human informs them that, due to a somewhat negligent upbringing and poor socialization as a child and adolescent, they suffer from underdeveloped emotional maturity... that will never fully develop. That ship has sailed, and they were NOT on board.

The explanation is delivered in a calm, somewhat bored tone, with a bland facial expression. The livesuit

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Stupid is infectious

In sympathy with the idiots with guns protesting lockdowns, over in the US, some idiots with cardboard signs tried protesting the lockdowns in Victoria. All of those people from Victoria are enjoying a no-frills lockdown care of the nation's prisons.

Next thing you know, they'll be drinking bleach to try and cure themselves. PSA - don't drink bleach or you will die.

The Muppet's having a big concern because the plague has hit his fortress of ego former "safe space" and he's

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I'm having a frighten

We went out for some hardware, yesterday and... oh my glob. There were more people than I've seen in any one place for a month or more. Every single one of them was bare faced and only nodding at social distancing when reminded to.

This is how following waves happen. This is what's going to stretch this plague out for most of this year, if not the rest of it and some of the next one. I feel like my entire life

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Challenge #02583-G026: Ma Yub

There are two kinds of parents. There's the kind that thinks their children should have the experiences that they had when they were a child, and there's the kind that thinks their children should have something better than that.

The problem with being that second kind, I've found, is that it's hard to give your children something better when you don't really know what that looks like. -- Anon Guest

Bringing up the next generation of cogniscent life is never easy. Certainly,

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AUGH!

I will not ask what else can go wrong, because it more or less has. My car is due to go to the repair people today. That's going to cost a honkload.

Also:

  • I can't start Audacity - the program I use to edit my episodes of Inter-Mission [have no fear, there is a new episode today and there are like three more waiting in the wings]
  • One of the cats broke down the pet door that was their only safety from
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Almost Done!

I've been doing 1K a day so I have all the more time for other projects and worldbuilding for my next WIP.

Speaking of WIP's, I have made a beginning on editing Ep4 of Inter-Mission. Which means I'm one episode closer to actually publishing these mofos. If I put them out on non-game-night Fridays, I have an occasion I should easily remember.

Should is not is. In this case, 'should is not will'. It's not a guarantee, it's more of a hope.

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Challenge #02302-F112: Dire for Dairy

"Just go out and do it, it's not that difficult."

"I mean, everything is difficult when you have anxiety, so yeah." -- Anon Guest

Everyone thinks anxiety is just being nervous. Just go down to the shops and buy a thing of milk, is not that easy. For an anxious person... it's more like this:

First, one must prepare for the journey. Supplies checked twice and preparations for the journey ahead inventoried thrice. Once that is done, the brave must face the

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Mondays...

Another five days of grind are looming ahead. Another five days of slog and hoping for a decent time window to put my dreams even one baby step ahead.

I tried to have time off on the weekend and failed at that. I'm always putting aside my plns for other nonse. Other people's plans are way more important than my need to faff off.

Except...

Except I feel really worn out in the soul because it feels like I'm not getting enough

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Once More Into the Breach...

Mayhem is, once again, feeling poorly. Though he has apparently been suffering for three days, he decided not to mention anything until this morning. Showing a timing worthy of the typical Monday-itus.

He did throw up, though, which is my usual bar to pass for staying at home. Same with a fever.

Good luck for me - he's seeing an expert in digestive issues tomorrow, so we should get some form of resolution this time. Huzzah. And if we don't get a

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Kitten plus Disco Ball == me

So many Gottas. So many Dunwannas.

I gotta:

  • do this blog
  • instant story
  • 500 words
  • house cleaning
  • send off a copy of Adapting to Baen Books

I Dunwanna do any of those. I'd much rather wind up that one fic that's been possessing my soul for months now. And then start posting it so I can revel in the suffering of others.

I'd much rather nap all day because wet and miserable weather. And have hot soup and fanfic in-between bingeing my

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Welp. That's Me Fucked Up

It's already Wedensday and the odds of me working on SESP at all are... low.

And I really need to look after myself rather than fret about what I'm not doing.

BUT....

Because anxiety, I gotta fret anyway. Which drains the personal batteries. Which leaves me less energy for doing the thing. Which lowers the odds of thing-doing even further. Which increases the guilt for not doing the thing.

::Windmills of Your Mind plays in the background::

I need permission to just

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Time Flu

I don't know what's going on with me, but it might be interesting to look into it. My batteries are regularly drained by the end of the day. Protein doesn't help. Sugar certainly won't. Having a meal doesn't quite get me back up there, but the willingness to cook it is missing.

Yay.

I probably have the morbs plus anxiety because trying to sell Adapting is getting to me. That and the fact that I'm only halfway towards the Lappy of my

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Finishing Season

Seems to be the time of year for finishing stuff up. I'm 1500 words away from the end of Clockwork Souls and I've just-last-night reached an ending for my fanfic, Crime and Punishment.

I'm going to ponder which fanfic I'm doing next because I can't not write. There's a few juicy ideas I have excerpts for. I just need to pick the shiniest one.

Announcements when that happens, of course.

Today's another cleaning day, and having our new toy means that all

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Challenge #01720-D259: High Alert Level

I may be a coward, but I will not let that define me. -- RecklessPrudence

My name is Val, and I'm afraid. Every day, every minute, all I can think of is the worst possible consequences that result from my actions. You might call it anxiety. I don't think it's anything as mild as that. I have a mechanical clock as an alarm, because what if the power fails in the night and all the electronic stuff doesn't work? I sterilise my

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