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Anxiety

A 30-post collection

Sunday, Data Transfer Woes

It's raining. My left heel is in Fuck You Mode(tm) and I am trying every single method I can to move my tab hoard to the new Linux layout.

I have to rebuild the tab hoard I used to have on my laptop, but that's small beans.

I'm currently using my lappy for the instructions and going through the latest in a long line of alternatives to do the thing. I want to make sure ALL my widows and ALL their tabs are moved into the new digs.

Which is going to take a solid while because - ye gods - I had a lot of tabs and windows open and just lying around.

As for my Fuck You Foot... I've taken to walking around with a cane to help keep the weight off it for the meanwhile. It helps it not get worse. Which... is better than nothing.

There are just some days in which I do not have the time for my preventative measures. And that sucks for me.

At least I know WHY it's hurting. And I might be able to relieve it with some retroactive actions at a later date.

On the plus side, I had a lovely sesh with the international maniacs, and a really good sleep thereafter. I shall have my offerings for you reasonably soon (I hope) and I may be inspired to go fetch myself a treato.

We'll see how the transfer goes.

Sunday, Rollerskating PLNs

We had some immense fun playing Candy Heist with the players thoroughly subverting my expectations of the play.

As they frequently do.

I'm spending as much time as possible with my Beloved today. Writing my offerings on the old reliable security blanket/laptop.

Tonight, I go to a place I've never been to before to go do a thing I've never done before. Little bit of anxiety over that, to be honest.

So let's get on with getting on with that.

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Challenge #03497-I209: Sleepless in Ship's Night

"Can you help me? I can't sleep again. I keep waking up and pacing the floor." -- Anon Guest

Rescue Humans come with their own rewards. They also come with their own detriments. Such as chronic anxiety and sleep issues. The flip side is the hyper-vigilance that has saved far too many to be counted by now. So periodic interruptions to the rest cycle are a small price to pay.

With that in mind, Companion Thark kept any and all reprimands to

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Challenge #03343-I055: For Peace of Mind

Please show us a human in Alliance space that does regular yoga to handle severe anxiety. -- Anon Guest

Human Juel was in the midst of their Pretzeling. Twisting her body around in seemingly awkward combinations and breathing in a slow and deliberate manner. Companion Mitr was still trying to comprehend the exercise.

The mat was necessary to protect her body from the harder flooring. That was clear. As to the why of turning the body into knots, it had to be

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Friday, Day 1, Gearing Up

Plague news: NO NEW CASES! Seventy-nine total active cases, with twenty-one in hospital and one in the ICU.

Anxiety is at a peak here in the household as today we PLN to get some final gussying-up before we drop the big reveal tomorrow. That will be happening after household unfuckening and maybe after Chaos returns from school.

I'm still being gentle with myself until all reasons to be panicking are dealt with. One way or another. Stress is hell on inspiration.

I'm

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Challenge #03077-H169: Constant Vigilance

A Companion notices that the ship's human's livesuit is picking up on wild, unusual fluctuations in hormones related to emotions and high stress. On questioning, the human informs them that, due to a somewhat negligent upbringing and poor socialization as a child and adolescent, they suffer from underdeveloped emotional maturity... that will never fully develop. That ship has sailed, and they were NOT on board.

The explanation is delivered in a calm, somewhat bored tone, with a bland facial expression. The livesuit

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Stupid is infectious

In sympathy with the idiots with guns protesting lockdowns, over in the US, some idiots with cardboard signs tried protesting the lockdowns in Victoria. All of those people from Victoria are enjoying a no-frills lockdown care of the nation's prisons.

Next thing you know, they'll be drinking bleach to try and cure themselves. PSA - don't drink bleach or you will die.

The Muppet's having a big concern because the plague has hit his fortress of ego former "safe space" and he's

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I'm having a frighten

We went out for some hardware, yesterday and... oh my glob. There were more people than I've seen in any one place for a month or more. Every single one of them was bare faced and only nodding at social distancing when reminded to.

This is how following waves happen. This is what's going to stretch this plague out for most of this year, if not the rest of it and some of the next one. I feel like my entire life

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Challenge #02583-G026: Ma Yub

There are two kinds of parents. There's the kind that thinks their children should have the experiences that they had when they were a child, and there's the kind that thinks their children should have something better than that.

The problem with being that second kind, I've found, is that it's hard to give your children something better when you don't really know what that looks like. -- Anon Guest

Bringing up the next generation of cogniscent life is never easy. Certainly,

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AUGH!

I will not ask what else can go wrong, because it more or less has. My car is due to go to the repair people today. That's going to cost a honkload.

Also:

  • I can't start Audacity - the program I use to edit my episodes of Inter-Mission [have no fear, there is a new episode today and there are like three more waiting in the wings]
  • One of the cats broke down the pet door that was their only safety from
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Almost Done!

I've been doing 1K a day so I have all the more time for other projects and worldbuilding for my next WIP.

Speaking of WIP's, I have made a beginning on editing Ep4 of Inter-Mission. Which means I'm one episode closer to actually publishing these mofos. If I put them out on non-game-night Fridays, I have an occasion I should easily remember.

Should is not is. In this case, 'should is not will'. It's not a guarantee, it's more of a hope.

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Challenge #02302-F112: Dire for Dairy

"Just go out and do it, it's not that difficult."

"I mean, everything is difficult when you have anxiety, so yeah." -- Anon Guest

Everyone thinks anxiety is just being nervous. Just go down to the shops and buy a thing of milk, is not that easy. For an anxious person... it's more like this:

First, one must prepare for the journey. Supplies checked twice and preparations for the journey ahead inventoried thrice. Once that is done, the brave must face the

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Mondays...

Another five days of grind are looming ahead. Another five days of slog and hoping for a decent time window to put my dreams even one baby step ahead.

I tried to have time off on the weekend and failed at that. I'm always putting aside my plns for other nonse. Other people's plans are way more important than my need to faff off.

Except...

Except I feel really worn out in the soul because it feels like I'm not getting enough

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Once More Into the Breach...

Mayhem is, once again, feeling poorly. Though he has apparently been suffering for three days, he decided not to mention anything until this morning. Showing a timing worthy of the typical Monday-itus.

He did throw up, though, which is my usual bar to pass for staying at home. Same with a fever.

Good luck for me - he's seeing an expert in digestive issues tomorrow, so we should get some form of resolution this time. Huzzah. And if we don't get a

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Kitten plus Disco Ball == me

So many Gottas. So many Dunwannas.

I gotta:

  • do this blog
  • instant story
  • 500 words
  • house cleaning
  • send off a copy of Adapting to Baen Books

I Dunwanna do any of those. I'd much rather wind up that one fic that's been possessing my soul for months now. And then start posting it so I can revel in the suffering of others.

I'd much rather nap all day because wet and miserable weather. And have hot soup and fanfic in-between bingeing my

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