A 24-post collection


We just had to re-wire our household internet because mice, but before that, I had my entire site crash. So I wanted that to be a decent excuse for learning how to fix my own dang 500/502 errors.

Before I did that, though, the aforementioned internet rebuggering. In which we discovered that the cardboard box Beloved was using as an improvised server shelf was encouraging mice. Mice that nibbled through all the very important internet cables.

No wonder the internet was shit.

Beloved has learned a very important lesson - don't fucking keep empty cardboard boxes around ad infinitum. Or at least, I hope they have.

I have learned a very important lesson, too. How to unfuck a 500 error with my site All By Myself. YAY!

Meanwhile, our ducted air con system is down because the touchscreen interface is cactus. We've gone back to the old air cons for now and I will be calling the peeps on Monday to be certain that things are unbuggered as soon as possible. I'm giving the solar guys the hairy eyeball on this one. They might have accidentally fucked something incidental.

Next week is looking like:

  • Number of dudes coming in: 1 that I have to pln.
  • Game nights: 1 (that we have to get to)
  • PLN'd days on the wagon: 5 before a celebration night on Thursday

We had Sushi last night, so of course I went overboard on the calories. Up by a whopping 1.1 kilos. Dag. So it's back on the extended fast for me. Not that I'm complaining yet.

Today's Instant was already out on Steemit. The rest of the world gets to hear about it now. Starting with you.

Busiest Day

Mayhem has a ceremony thing going on today. I must provide parental support by being in the audience.

This also means that my usual schedule is shot to hell and may not happen until later this afternoon. Much later this afternoon.

All this not helped at all by the household wifi deciding to temporarily kark it and me having to reboot the little bugger.

Honestly. Some days, it's a wonder I get anything done at all.

Read more »

Anthology Pending

I have immense trouble with sequential numbering. Anyone with the right amount of search chops plus my archives will be able to tell you that.

So of course I'm going through the latest Year of Instants to be absolutely, positively certain that I have all my ducks in a row.

Alarming discovery #1 - I somehow have three hundred and sixty-eight chapters when I should have three hundred and sixty-five.

Alarming discovery #2 - I somehow missed putting in an entire story

Read more »

Welcome to my enfuckened life

Today's the last day of this year for hired cleaning help. Which means that, once again, I have to badger my family into cleaning up after themselves.

I also have to have $95 cash, but that's small potatoes.

Beloved has to see a Gold-plated Expert about their eyes at early-during-business-hours. I have no idea how long that's going to take, or even if my presence is required, but I do know that my day is pretty much screwed.

Today promises to be

Read more »

FUBAR'd Again

Last night was fun. The session went on WAY too long [half past midnight!] and I probably ate too much. Doesn't matter if you're on Keto, my dears. If you snack too hard, then you gain weight. End of.

I'm up by a kilo this morning and I have a persistent headache that may or may not be related to a cyclone somewhere. And worse - I came over with some sudden nausea that may also be related to watching Mumbo YouTube.

Read more »

Early start, better finish?

I'm getting some of my work done before I'm meant to be up and about this morning. It just makes sense.

I had a scrum day, yesterday. There wasn't a moment to stop until firkin midday when the temperature in my office was too much to bear. So I had to go do everything in the bedroom and it was pure luck that I got it all done.

I am trying to get all the Patreon stuff posted as soon as I

Read more »

That went... awful.

Here's how it went:

  1. Write Instant story
  2. Do the advertising for same
  3. Go out to Bunnings and find a door
  4. Wrestle door into tiny car
  5. Get door to destination
  6. Door too small >:(

Good thing I neglected to throw away the receipt and we can firkin sort out things today.

This time, we're measuring the doorway, taking those stats with us, and finding a door with a window in it for that.

Beloved and I.

Because my car is firkin tiny and theirs

Read more »


This is one year where Miss Chaos hasn't expressed a desire to go out and demand treats or threaten tricks, so I'm not calling any last-second attention to it. We'll be going dark this year. Not that anyone has ever attempted to get stuff from us in the first place.

Mayhem is sick again. He blames standing out in the rain that one time. I'm suspicious that he might not be taking his gall bladder meds even when he says he is.

Read more »

Hello the Clusterfuck

Beloved hasn't done shit for the taxes save for printing their information, so now it's up to me to do the thing. Before Friday.

Fortunately, the local accountants are amenable and I have an appointment early tomorrow so I can get this shiznit out of the way ASAP.

Come next financial year, I am pestering Beloved to get things over with before their weekends are eaten alive by the Melbourne Cup Monster.

Things to look forward to - a new episode of

Read more »

Not Much Data

The weather has knocked out my usual internet connection. You read that right. A system initially designed to survive the Nuclear Holocaust has been knocked out by water getting into the connections.

Real life sucks.

So. In order to actually get today's tale out into the world, I'm currently using phone data to transmit.

The effort to not procrastinate is intense, y'all. I'm not succeeding that great at it either.

When my Instant is done, I get back to the shittier side

Read more »

Oh dear...

I had a nice day of sloth. Alas, it got a little ruined by the fact that Mayhem's tummy troubles have returned and I never did see that higher-level quack about the magic medicine(tm).

Which Beloved yelled at me about.

Nevermind that Mayhem was effectively cured for a fucking fortnight. Or said he was cured.

The caveat to this is that the higher-level quack doesn't like operating outside of school hours, so it'll be a couple of weeks until we get

Read more »

Well, Fuck

Okay. Here's the situation.

  • Cocoa contains carbs and I need to figure out the content of one button to keep my hot chocolates ketogenic
  • Mayhem has a conference with his guidance counsellor and I discuss his grades
  • I need new windshield wipers
  • Time is growing ever closer to the release of a better Apple Lappy for my first actual Earned Laptop
  • All my funds are tied up in other shit
  • Including Mayhem's traineeship [$2K]
  • And paying for my car rego [$600+]
  • My
Read more »

Early Start

I could no longer sleep in the wee small, this morning. And, apparently, neither could the kids. I caught Mayhem playing one of his many FPS games, and Chaos talking to herself in her bedroom.

So I really caught them out, and made them help in the house.

Mayhem claims that he has no idea what to do when he wakes up early and, of course, I called him out on his horseshit. I'm apparently supposed to write a list of things

Read more »


I should have posted my Patreon stuff yesterday, but the distraction of being a lazy goldbrick got in my way. So I made myself post it this morning.


And I can't help thinking that I skipped a week. Can't fathom how or when that happened. Nobody talks to me about this stuff. Even MeMum has stopped bothering me about the tardy stuff.

Autumn has more or less officially begun. Translated - I have put on Jeans for the first time this

Read more »