Amalgam Universe

Challenge #03712-J059: Bootstraps Not Included

On the planet, the women disappeared, the CEO's replaced them with robotic women.

On the planet, the men and children disappeared, the CEO's replaced them with AI workers.

On the planet, the AI began to fade away, the workers began to stop working.

The CEO's demanded their people return.

The living, now freed, individuals shouted back "Use your bootstraps!" -- Anon Guest

"Nobody ever handed me anything on a silver platter," said CEO Zalmoxis Morong as he plucked a petit four offered to him on a gilded platter. "Everything I have accomplished, I have accomplished on my own. I pulled myself to a position of power by pulling myself up by my bootstraps. So anyone else can do the same." He sipped delicately from his wine glass. "I am the epitome of a self-made man. Everyone else is too lazy or too ready to make excuses."

The Alliance interviewer transmitting this across every possible receiver said, "So you have every confidence that you could make yourself all over again?"

"Every confidence," said Zalmoxis. That was how the trouble began.

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Challenge #03711-J058: Spirit of the Season

Making sure to follow safety protocols, a human follows the customs of their homeworld and culture, and, at the holiday, begins to deliver treats and thoughtful gifts to all of their shipmates. The other two humans do the same. Then, on the day of holiday, cook a large meal, carefully prepared, for everyone to enjoy together. -- Anon Guest

It was one of the humans' prettier holidays, they had to admit. The Ships' Human, Dzef, had spent most of hir time printing

Challenge #03710-J057: Handle With Extreme Care

"Don't do it."

"Do what?"

They look to the two vials in one hand, and two more in another.

"You know what."

"I want to know what'll happen."

Looks at the lack of safety gear.

"I WILL call your parentals!"

"Ok, ok..... I'll put the suit on first, sheesh!" -- Anon Guest

"What even are these?" asked Lab Tech Quinn as ze peered at the vials.

"Ordinary household chemicals," said Student Bop. In his favour, he began to shrink a little in

Challenge #03709-J056: What's it Feel Like?

They're 6 ft tall, they look like great, big, fluffy, plushie versions of lizards, due to their home planet being a rather cold place, and humans are absolutely sqee'ing in delight. To the humans, these creatures, Deathworlders like them, are so absolutely adorable it's almost painful! -- Anon Guest

They were called the Quetzaloq, and they were indeed feathered lizards. They met the Humans on a frosty world they were both looking at for resort capability. For an uncomfortable moment, ape met

Challenge #03708-J055: What it Says on the Tin

Only humans would be stupid enough to create a space-race track that went THROUGH an asteroid belt, and called it their "obstacle course section". Thank the POWERS the small racing shuttles had safety features! -- Anon Guest

[AN: Hollywood has mislead so many about what asteroid fields are like. So in order to enhance the reality of my imaginary future, I'm turning the obstacle course into a ships' graveyard]

Explaining the Manic Million to non-Humans was always the problem. Anything the Humans

Challenge #03702-J049: Ka Mate! Ka Ora!

Is it wrong of me to want a bunch of Havenworlders to perform haka? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Absolutely not! Just a reminder that this is not my culture and I am unfamiliar with the most of it]

Of all the wonders that welcoming Humans to the Alliance introduced, nobody expected cultural sharing. The Alliance soon learned that Humans were naturally inclined to share everything they loved and, in more than one occasion, some things they hated.

Everyone knew that exposure to

Challenge #03700-J047: Welcome to Heaven on...

I read your latest story while at work. My coworkers wondered what the cackling was about, but I couldn't help it, it was just too amusing. I saw the comment and I would like to second it. Would you do a story where the individuals actually arrive at, and participate in, the food eating competition?

It is from here - https://beta.peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-03637-i349-my-kind-of-battle -- The New Guy

Food! Glorious food! Daiv was anxious to try it. Gleaming piles

Challenge #03699-J046: With a Smile

Pirate once captured - "Those eyes... those.. horrible... eyes... I see them, even when I sleep!"

Security officer to the human - "What in the name of all the powers did you DO to them?"

Human, shrugging - "Nothing abnormal, honest. When I capture pirates, all I do is look them in the eyes as I put the restraints on them, and smile."

Security officer to their superior - "We're going to need some serious meds here, soon, and therapists." -- Anon

Challenge #03698-J045: Just Their Luck

Two good-luckers decide to come together play poker. The game lasts nearly a record length before they call it a draw. The watchers enjoyed it greatly! -- Anon Guest

[AN: I know fuck all about Poker. Also there's way more than two Luckers]

There are events that exist only for the spectacle. People gathered from all over just to see it happen live.

The Luckers were having a Poker match.

There were no prizes, because these were all Good Luckers. The favoured

Challenge #03697-J044: Mostly Harmless, I Promise

Tons of security rush into the domicile

"What's going on here?"

"It was reported you're building bombs!"

"Oh, I'm making bath bombs."

"Explosives to use while you wash??"

"No, fizzy little balls to add to a bath for aromatherapy."

"It was reported as a Bomb."

"The eavesdropper needs to learn to listen to the entire conversation." -- Anon Guest

"Explosives are not permitted in enclosed vessels," intoned the guard. "We still have to inspect the process and the product."

Human Liz sighed

Challenge #03695-J042: Soft Space for All

Aboard a ship heading to the edge, the human creates a special room filled with pillows and stuffed animals. They are asked why the odd room? Two words, emergency de-stressing. For everyone. -- Anon Guest

They began with soft lining for the floor, walls, and ceiling. Following that were large enough soft furnishings to, as Human Bakr put it, "confound a horse."

There were also animal effigies in soft fabrics.

There were also soft, colourful lights and ur-music with calming and meditative

Challenge #03694-J041: Let Our Motto be Broadcast

"Why do you have THAT many weapons on your walls?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Isn't it a bit .... overkill?"

"Nah, I just really like all these pretty sharp things."

"Are they actually useful?"

"When have you ever seen me without a blade during an emergency?"

"Fair point." -- Anon Guest

Human Reg had one of the more interesting mottos: "It's better to be prepared than be embarrassed." To that end, she always had a knife, a multitool, or both somewhere on her

Challenge #03693-J040: Nothing Wrong in Here

A strange noise is coming out of the human habitat. When they look in, the pet is rushing around like it's half-insane. The human chuckles and calls it the "midday zoomies". -- Anon Guest

Companion Xaal had detected strange noises inside Human Per's habitat. A rhythmic thumping and an irregular vocalisation that could imply physical or mental distress. Alarmed, ze entered the emergency code that let hir into the Human's area.

Human Per was jumping up and down, arms and legs going

Challenge #03692-J039: The Largest To-Read List

A person had a perfect memory. Working hard, they went to the B'Nari to get an artificial body, but kept that eidetic memory talent of theirs. Then they went to an Archivaas world, and asked to please spend time in the libraries to read, and make friends. -- DaniAndShali

Records, memories, events. Experiences. Emotions pressed onto paper in nothing more than black and white. Some preserved these in ridiculous measures. Climate-controlled mega-structures containing labyrinths of stacks. Not just books. Movies. Holograms. Games.

Challenge #03691-J038: One Abandoned Prize

A Human, and their Havenworlder spouse, find an early-shattering, almost pre-shattering, ship in nearly perfect condition with all of its materials, well almost all of it's materials, intact. And they're able to claim it. -- Anon Guest

One being's trash is another's treasure. Truer words had never come out of the entire insane mess that was the Human race. Things thrown away in eons past became valuable in later years. Things valuable in eons past also became worthless.

Thus, the cycle of

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A 2266-post collection

Challenge #03712-J059: Bootstraps Not Included

Challenge #03711-J058: Spirit of the Season

Challenge #03710-J057: Handle With Extreme Care

Challenge #03709-J056: What's it Feel Like?

Challenge #03708-J055: What it Says on the Tin

Challenge #03702-J049: Ka Mate! Ka Ora!

Challenge #03700-J047: Welcome to Heaven on...

Challenge #03699-J046: With a Smile

Challenge #03698-J045: Just Their Luck

Challenge #03697-J044: Mostly Harmless, I Promise

Challenge #03695-J042: Soft Space for All

Challenge #03694-J041: Let Our Motto be Broadcast

Challenge #03693-J040: Nothing Wrong in Here

Challenge #03692-J039: The Largest To-Read List

Challenge #03691-J038: One Abandoned Prize