Humans are Insane

A 122-post collection

Challenge #02320-F130: Little Souvenirs

Tattoos are a big part of some Human cultures.

Others see it as an expression of their youth.

And some see it still as a thing, that should only be worn by prisoners and sailors.

How react Aliens (especially Havenworlders and other Deathworders) when they first make contact with a Human and their tattoos? -- Anon Guest

Human Stef was favouring their right arm, being very careful about it colliding with random surfaces. This was not the first time that the Human had returned from shore leave with hints of an injury. Human Stef called them hir 'little souvenirs', and otherwise seemed happy about them.

Then again, Humans were insane... Nevertheless Xoryq was concerned. "Human Stef, are these souvenirs of yours long-term damaging? Must we be concerned for your extended health?"

Human Stef laughed as they laughed at most things. "Nah, don't fret too hard. I just got some more ink." It took some time for Human Stef to explain and more time for Xoryq to understand. Every single one of Human Stef's 'little souvenirs' was a form of body-modding art traditional to the local area.

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Challenge #02311-F121: Intuitively Harmless

Chinese Water Torture is in the best cases extremely effective and in the worst cases useless against Humans. It's debatable.

Unsurprisingly Aliens of all species are not familiar with it and subsequently belong to the first Category. -- Anon Guest

One drop... falls. It lands on the brow of the captive, who cannot escape its icy touch. One drop of water is no physical harm to anyone. Theoretically, they could eventually fill the room, were it not well drained. Some drops don't

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Challenge #02310-F120: Love Hateful Relationship

youtube.com/watch?v=7KwzVus9xds 2:56

Humans love Alcohol. No Point in denying that. However, that just takes the cake.

Aliens are mortified by that. Even other Deathworlders. -- Anon Guest

They say that alcohol is a basic form of inebriant amongst any carbon-based lifeform. The ones saying it the most often are the ones who have made alcohol an inherent portion of their culture. Many Human cultures claim that alcohol brewing should be integral within the stages of civilisation advancement.

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Challenge #02307-F117: Adequate Testing Procedures

The History of crash-test dummies is one of Sheer Deathworlder Thinking. Instead of doing the sane thing and wait, till the technology is safe enough, they relied in the past on test with crash-test dummies.

Fun fact: Aliens did not know, that the First Dummies were actually other Humans. -- Anon Guest

There's a crucial difference between Havenworlders, Deathworlders, and what one might consider normal cogniscents. That particular difference is in how they approach the relative safety of technology. For most cogniscents,

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Challenge #02301-F111: Self-Entertainment Hazard

"Oh god. Please, I beg you, stop this terror-inducing nightmare!!!"

"...dude, I'm just clicking my pen."

"W H Y ?"

"I dunno, I'm bored"

(highly sound sensitive alien meets human with non-stopping clicking habit ^^) -- Anon Guest

Fact: Humans need enrichment in their environments for the best mental health. Fact: Humans can accept a vast variety of potential entertainments, even whilst performing other duties. Fact: If a Human's environment is not sufficiently enriched, the Human is capable of making their own enrichment.

Fact:

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Challenge #02277-F087: Survivors

Humans have an oath, a promise they make to the world when they are born:

I will Survive.

Survive out of spite. Survive as a witness. survive as a warning to the future. survive so these stories do not disappear.

I will survive or else. -- Anon Guest

Every living creature greets their first taste of life with a complaint. Brief or lengthy, living is worth making a fuss over. Humans, especially, enter their lives and rage at it. Fighting from the

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Challenge #02275-F085: To Share Caring

An Alien crew of Havenworlders tries to help their security-officer (a Human) to cope with PTSD-Flashbacks, Anxiety and Panic-Attacks. -- Anon Guest

The ship's Human had been sedated after the Upset. They lay now in the darkened recovery room with gently glowing screens displaying the words, You are safe, in the Human's home tongue. They would wake, eventually, but the trepidation amongst the Leseu crew was - what had happened to their Human?

Pack-bonding can happen in both directions.

Doctor Slysse faced

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Challenge #02273-F083: Smouldering Leaf Habit

This is a page from the Safety Manual for Humans.

"...... even if dangerous and self-destructive, some Humans will continue to light small fires for the inhalation of toxic substances ( To-ba-co) and will do so anywhere, if not provided a smoking-area.

PLEASE ALLOW THEM THIS !!!!!" -- Anon Guest

[AN: Speaking as a lifelong asthmatic whose life has been put in peril by smokers - irresponsible tobacco addicts can go to hell. The prizewinner is still the bloke who lit up upwind of me

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Challenge #02257-F067: Terrans of the Deep

Human talk about their oceans flora and fauna and deep water creatures.

Needless to say, it only adds more reasons, why Humans and their Deathworld should have been classified way higher. -- Anon Guest

Humans love to explore. To them, nothing is more alluring than the path not taken, the nook unchecked, or the depths undelved. There is no length a Human will not go to in order to see what's there just because they can. It should therefore surprise few that,

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Challenge #02227-F037: Think of the Children

An alien equivalent of a lawyer is studying up on various human court cases and stumbles upon a series of cases from family courts dated up to the mid 2030s citing "deviant sexual attitudes" or "deviant sexuality" as reasons for being an unsuitable parent. Upon consultation with its human liaison as to the nature of these cases, the alien discovers the murky and dark legal situations around kinks. -- Anon Guest

For those seeking further proof of Human Insanity, look no further

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Challenge #02217-F027: Complexities of Simple Experiments

Humans tend to shine ridiculously bright spotlights into the sky. Imagine an alien vessel going past and being blinded by these lights. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Most of our lights don't work like that. They're dissipated by the atmosphere and disperse as they go further from the source. By the time you're at cruising altitude for airplanes, they're invisible to even the most perceptive of observers. That said, we're busy inventing some pretty gnarly lights...]

Humans like to prove things are possible.

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Challenge #02210-F020: Keep on Rolling

A Cheese rolling in Gloucestershire. A bunch of humans running down a really steep hill in order to out race each other or possibly catch a wheel of cheese in order to win said cheese. People get injured. Try explaining that to Aliens -- Anon Guest

"This is a sport?" said Glaux, who was honestly attempting to understand their Ships' Human. "In a place called..." they looked up the spelling. "Glaw-sess-ter-shire?"

"Gloss-ter-sheer," corrected Human Tess. "It's a common mistake, but yes. That's

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Challenge #02206-F0165: Microscopic Passengers

The Aliens in Board learn that one of the Human-Crewmembers has Herpes.

Fact: More than 3.7 Billion People have it. XD -- Anon Guest

"It's my duty to inform my captain and crew that I have a class two plague known as Herpes. I'm on a permanent course of antivirals to prevent its propagation."

Captain Gorthax, mildly alarmed, consulted the free infonets and read, GalStand Medical Primer for Newcomers: Subheading - Plague Disease Classes and resulting mis-assumptions.

Like most numeric classifications,

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Challenge #02205-F015: Correcting Memetic Foibles

European Humans have Something around 2 % of DNA from the Neandertaler in them.

Humans share 50 to 80% of their DNA with the Common Banana.

All that separates US from Apes are roughly 1- 5 % genetic differences.

The Aliens learn about these Facts for the first Time.... -- Anon Guest

"A common mistake in early DNA studies is mistaking content for relationships. Some are indicators, like the two percent of DNA that some Humans share with Neanderthals. Or the ninety-eight percent that

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Challenge #02203-F013: Pride Goeth...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M -- Anon Guest

[AN: Offensensitivity warning for anglo-saxon four-letter words in the lyrics]

If there is any sign of a sickening nation, it is national egotism. Every time a nation gets a metaphorical big head, it is destined for collapse. Britannia did, once, rule the waves. Then it's empire collapsed in a rash of independence after the nation nearly collapsed due to two multinational wars in rapid succession.

America, once, was a great nation. Then

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