Humans are Insane

A 189-post collection

Challenge #04083-K065: The Humans Are Fine

Aboard a human-built space station, in fact aboard many, there were usually two different entertainment areas side by side. One for havenworlders or others who could not take rough-and-tumble well, and one... for people who thought parkour was the best entertainment ever.

Watching the humans throw themselves off of high walls, ledges, and other dangerous areas was.. more than a little shocking, especially the distances they fell, rolling, to their feet only to run up the wall and do it again! -- Anon Guest

Most newcomers to the Galactic Alliance find it hard to believe in Humans until they meet them. A peculiar species of balding apes, amphibious in nature, that can adapt to some of the most extreme environments that even a level four Deathworld is capable of.

Then they went ahead and found ways to enter environments that would straight-up kill them without technology in the way. They even went to space in vessels that were one good sneeze away from total failure whilst still being over-engineered beyond belief. And then there's what they do for entertainment.

This was a Human Hyperactivity Gym. With rock-climbing walls, brachiation potential, and quite a lot of strange devices that only required weight and muscle to activate. Most Humans called it "The Playground."

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Challenge #03948-J296: Up, Up, and Away

Want an example of human insanity my friend? Think of using the equivalent of a powerful blow-torch to heat up air in a big cloth bag, and riding underneath it on a flammable wicker basket. -- Anon Guest

Honestly, the Humans should have stopped with eggshells and smouldering tapers. That sort of thing demonstrated the principal and didn't involve risk to life or limb. Unfortunately, Humans get bored very easily. They also ask questions like, "What are the limits here?"

Which they

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Challenge #03877-J225: Progressive Engineering

"How did your people study storms such as twisters in your past?" Human - "Oh, we drove big, heavy, vehicles right into the paths of these storms and studied them from the inside."

"Those must've been marvels of engineering, with caterpillars and all to anchor them."

Human - "Nope, just heavy cars with a bunch of armor welded on, kinda like a big tin can with an anchor, and us praying our luck held. Here's a video!"

"I'll say it again what

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Challenge #03782-J129: They Do That For Fun

Humans scare the hell out of the others around them playing a Dungeons and Dragons tabletop game. -- Anon Guest

"Fireball. Just fireball. Only fireball," recited Human Lars. Ze was doing a funny voice.

"I'll take 'memes from the dawn of time' for five hundred, Alex," quipped Human Oish. He was evidently playing with several oddly-shaped solid objects.

"Just flakkin' roll an attack," sighed Human George. Ze had hir head on the table. "I wanna get something flakkin' DONE this sesh. Powers

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Challenge #03764-J111: Flying, BYO Wings

Humans are NUTS! This one bought something called a hang-glider. Are they jumping off that massive cliff with that thing? This is CRAZY! Thank the powers I have wings and can at least follow! -- Anon Guest

Humans cannot fly on their own. This is known. This does not, however, stop them from slipping the surly bonds of gravity by any other means.

This one was a giant kite. Aluminium tubes, brightly-coloured silk, and very little else. There was a sling attached

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Challenge #03708-J055: What it Says on the Tin

Only humans would be stupid enough to create a space-race track that went THROUGH an asteroid belt, and called it their "obstacle course section". Thank the POWERS the small racing shuttles had safety features! -- Anon Guest

[AN: Hollywood has mislead so many about what asteroid fields are like. So in order to enhance the reality of my imaginary future, I'm turning the obstacle course into a ships' graveyard]

Explaining the Manic Million to non-Humans was always the problem. Anything the Humans

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Challenge #03680-J027: Come Relax by the Volcanoes

Humans build a wonderful resort station where the main attractions are a large assortment of hot spring baths and plenty of food. -- Anon Guest

Only Humans could look at a planet that was, essentially, a bubbling cauldera on every continent and say, "This is the best place to build a resort!"

This is just one among many reasons why the Alliance believes that the Humans are insane.

That said, Humanity also loves an engineering challenge. A planet ripe for geothermal energy

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Challenge #03669-J016: Don't Ask About Dog Hair

The human race has only recently been allowed into the Alliance, and people are just getting used to their odd ways. And, ah, the poor medics, they are convinced and worried as they are dealing with a human with very strange symptoms, until another human teaches them about Hangovers. -- Lessons

From The Care and Maintenance of a Ship's Human, the collaborative infonet community: "Humans, especially Humans from their sovereign territories, are known to imbibe toxins for fun. They enjoy the sensory

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Challenge #03580-I291: For Want of a Toaster

A person is watching some old, archived, videos of humans Pre-Shattering. Some videos showing a place called Amerikka and an event called "Black Friday". Where hundreds of humans end up trampling some others, injuring and killing some, just to get into a store to buy cheap, disposable, items. -- Anon Guest

The theatre marquee declared it to be Archival Footage Viewing and Classification: Pre-Shattering Terra. Which should be enough warning for anyone. Curiosity, an almost fatal Human flaw, drew Kam in like

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Challenge #03191-H282: This is Us, Us is Good.

"Human? I've been studying your world's history, as much as I safely can, why is it so many people seemed so happy to kill each other for a piece of colored cloth?" -- Anon Guest

Human Van thought, very briefly, about saying, Oh, it got worse than that. There had been those perfectly willing to indirectly murder the weaker of their own kind just so they could "live pure". There were those who were ready and eager to use an army's worth

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Challenge #02950-H027: For Art's Sake

They were a rough and ready, "come at me" space marine. They had seen quite a few battles and had the scars to prove it, and won them all. They'd also worked with dozens of races from the roughest deathworlders to the gentlest havenworlders, the perfect person you wanted aboard ship when exploring out on the edge. Yet, each meal break, if they had few other duties, they were unusually quiet. When they moved into their quarters, other than the tools of

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Challenge #02925-H002: He Prefers the First Option

Violence is never the answer. But it’s a very effective solution -- Anon Guest

There are two potential results of being the deadliest person in armed or unarmed combat. One is that nobody wants to mess with you. The other, paradoxically, is that everyone wants to mess with you. It's a thing. Once you get a reputation for being the biggest thing in the known universe, everyone who thinks they can be a bigger thing wants to take you on as

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Challenge #02897-G340: Mistakes Were Made

The first thing they noticed was the running, stumbling humans, exiting a building. The second thing they noticed was that the humans that weren't too busy choking and gasping were shouting "put on your livesuits!" and "we need particle masks!"

Once the fire had been extinguished and the building was airing out, the story of What Happened This Time was told.

It was a story involving Carolina Reapers and a malfunctioning kitchen fan. Every human involved had the same thing to say

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Challenge #02833-G276: Safety Except...

A new class of therapists are going through training and tonight's lecture is about human psychology, past and present, when it came to the sciences and medical treatment. They were to watch an info video on humans in the early 21st century and their reactions to life-prolonging measures such as getting vaccinations to prevent disease, and wearing masks to try to control viral spreads during pandemics. And this, then was compared to the behaviors seen in the modern day. -- DaniAndShali


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Challenge #02779-G222: And There Was Only One Bed

Archivist finds a Treasure Trove in a Library's donation of 'source material, just old papers'. Stored in time seal conditions. Just one problem to the end of all their funding problems it was all hand written. -- Anon Guest

It was a sealed box in one of the Pre-Shattering Permaplastics. Someone had scrawled, "rando papers" in permanent marker across the lid. Scanners indicated that it was still hermetically sealed. This required care and attention to detail.

Good thing the Archivaas were an

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