Humans are Insane

A 171-post collection

Challenge #02716-G159: An Oldie But a Goodie

The ship is being raided by pirates, you and the human locked yourselves in the storage bay. The human is applying some liquid on their skin, asking “could you help me put on the shield generator?” You assisted them asking what they trying to do. “I’m gonna do a old scare tactic” while talking they snap their fingers and flames begin to cover their arms -- Anon Guest

Humans are insane. Many people acknowledge this on an intellectual level as most Humans can carry on in Galactic Society without resorting to their... more interesting problem solving skills. I, Companion Grox, have had personal experience with it. Trust in me. Any Human can go from "almost normal" to "Deathworlder crabonkers" in an instant.

We were being raided by pirates. Human Co was the Ships' Human on duty at the time, and the others were getting the crew into their lifepods. Human Co had ideas to save the ship, the cargo, and the crew with ordinary household chemicals.

Always beware of Humans and their concoctions of unregulated chemical compounds. We were in a ventilated hold for the cargo that wasn't safe for exposure to vacuum, and Human Co was mixing things in a near frenzy with their breather already on and activated. I had to stay well away from the smell. I remember asking what ze was doing.

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Challenge #02705-G148: Apparently This is Normal

Humans are insane. Definitely. Undeniably. Humans are insane by the standards of the greater galactic community. That did not prepare anyone for the sight of one of the passengers, at most five from the look of them, possibly younger from the sound of them, seizing a mug meant to hold hot liquids, approaching their nearest parent, and saying:

"Hey! Where my coffee?"

That the desired liquid turned out to be hot cocoa that the child was only pretending was coffee did little

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Challenge #02688-G131: Big and Loud

In the depts of the Archive, a Song was found. It was made Public property.

Naturally, Pax Humanis found a good use for it....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6yvrfOfLc

(Sorry, Not Sorry!) ;-) -- Mike

[AN: Warning for ten-hour video. Please don't do that to us again?]

War is an endless cycle. Tactics circle around and come blasting back from the past. In such cases, the siege turns an impasse into an endurance test. Of course, there are strategies to

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Challenge #02675-G118: The Bad Old Ways

A human got tired of the crew saying that humans are insane, so they decide to show their crew what true human insanity looks like by taking them on a field trip to the nearby insane asylum. (Bonus points if Said asylum happens to be Arkham Asylum.) -- Cheshire

[AN: Punishing the mentally disabled for being mentally disabled is not the best way to deal with that sort of thing. Besides, insanity is a matter of perspective, as I keep stating in

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Challenge #02647-G090: Re-inventing the Love

Love is gracious, love is kind, love is forgiving, love can turn you insane as easily it is made in a lab. -- Anon Guest

Love. Love is strange. -- Terran Folk Song, Pre-Shattering.

Too many people have attempted to define love. The problem, of course, is that there are many, many kinds. Familial, fraternal, passionate, platonic, friendly, true, unrequited... the list goes on and on. Love does many things to the mind, especially to Humans, who start out as borderline insane.

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Challenge #02645-G088: Getting to Know You

“Try not to read my my mind, I am running five jokes in my head, that will possibly offend you and make you laugh. Another part of my head is accidentally reminiscing about college and now internally screaming. My lizard brain want food. And the rest is upholding this conversation.”

“First off, how did you block my mind scan, and secondly - lizard brain?”

“Oh a part of the human brain can be traced back to a reptilian ancestor thus it is

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Challenge #02642-G085: The Honest Mood

Walks in

"tbqh idfk"

leaves -- Anon Guest

[AN: OP, I had to leave the link out because this is a mostly-PG exercise of mine and fetish-adjacent material is not safe for any minors who may have wandered in.]

Human Jor spoke in abbreviations. This caused some trouble for the crew she was Ship's Human for, but on the up side, she also provided a phrasebook. Simple words like "yes" or "no" became tonal grunts. Human Jor had a set of initials

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Challenge #02636-G079: Gone to the Dogs

A human explains to their havenworlder crewmates about how they used to compete into the internationally famous dog-sled race known as the Iditarod. And how much fun that was! :-)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IditarodTrailSledDogRace -- Anon Guest

"I think I understand the concept as a means of alternative transit," said Gorx, Havenworlder tourist. "I understand the competitive nature of Humans." It was hard not to understand that through the multitude of examples.

"So what's missing?" asked

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Challenge #02598-G041: A Lasting Reminder

There was this one abandoned space station where humans liked to paint graffitis and do other illegal stuff. When authorities find out they started to patrolling this place. After months of punishments, fines and even prison owners finally rebuild whole place and even let humans paint on special walls. It was this moment when illegal started to be legal. The very next day there was giant graffiti inside the biggest and most secured space station in the whole galaxy. -- Anon Guest

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Challenge #02562-G005: The Work Around

A disabled human ("invisible" disability) from a...less than understanding society, grown to adulthood and full of the painful little quirks and habits that one develops in order to survive that situation, encounters a member of the Galactic Alliance. A member of the Galactic Alliance who isn't sure what to do with a deathworlder who apologizes for displaying distress, and cries from joy when not berated for showing signs of pain when "there's nothing wrong" -- Anon Guest

They call me Human

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Challenge #02560-G003: Human NO!

A: A Dyson sphere just millions of solar panels covering a star

B: But why do we need that much energy?

A: To make a black hole bomb

B: WAIT NO

https://youtu.be/ulCdoCfw-bY -- Anon Guest

Ever since Nikola Tesla accidentally invented radio[1], Humanity has been obsessed with transmitting energy without using some form of wire between points A and B. The instant they had the means, they switched to becoming obsessed with gathering as much energy as possible.

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Challenge #02541-F351: Labels and Assumptions

Several humans were starting to get more than just a little annoyed at constantly being called insane. Even at school, when their kids would goof off during breaks or if the kids were in the park playing, others treated them as though they were mind-damaged. When they joined the Galactic Alliance, they thought they would be treated like equals, but instead, they find that they tend to be treated like savages even by other Deathworlders. Sometimes the view that, simply because they

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Challenge #02534-F344: Designed For Disaster

There are reasons why humans coined the term “idiot proofing”, many MANY reasons -- Anon Guest

Make it idiot proof and the world will invent a better idiot -- Human engineering axiom.

It was a Human who came up with Murphy's Law, and further Humans who came up with all the associated corollaries. Humans investigated them all, invented science to prove them, and then invented science that provided vital analysis into the reasons why it was so.

All devices made by Humans

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Challenge #02533-F343: In the Eye of the Storm

Humans don't all celebrate Silly Seasons. Some find it disorienting, some have been damaged, some protest aspects of the culture/celebration in question, some just don't care, and occasionally they're not 'in the mood.' For those who've resigned themselves to the boisterous Silly Season, a human who doesn't conform to the human 'norm' is actually more alarming than everything else they've prepared to tolerate. -- Anon Guest

Silly Season is not a set festival, as many new to the Galactic Alliance

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Challenge #02531-F341: Conflict of Interests

Don’t worry we’re completely safe

explosion

Relatively safe

laughter in the distance

As long we don’t move from here, we’re safe

door flies open

I think it’s best if we leave -- Anon Guest

[AN: Nonny, you have hit one of my favourite tropes - the chain of circumstantial self-correction. I confess to laughing out loud]

There used to be two absolute certainties in the universe - death and taxes. However, after the Humans entered the Galactic

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