Humans are Insane

A 140-post collection

Challenge #02403-F213: Come From the Woodwork Out

“My heart feel like it gonna implode, and my body feels like shit”

“Well this is the Edge, you have been awake for 72 Terran hours, two days ago”

Fun fact if awake for more than 3 days, humans will hallucinate or so symptom of insanity. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Feeling a lot like Hudson Hawk at the end of his movie RN. Check my Hub site tomorrow for details.]

"Does... that explain why you're so... shiny?"

"You could probably explain it like that, if you like. You may also wish to call me your self-preservation instinct. You've taken way too many stims and you need to unwind."

"Can't unwind. The clowns will come out of the walls and eat me."

"You know that's an irrational reason to avoid sleep."

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Challenge #02402-F212: Macgyvering it

You know, after seeing how humans break video games, aliens shouldn't ve so surprised by the dumb things humans think of to solve problems. Also, they should practically expect said dumb things to work. -- Anon Guest

There is a saying, If it's dumb and it works, it wasn't that dumb. It should be no surprise at all that the Humans were responsible for coining it. Humans have a song celebrating how they do, or did, 'all the dumb things'. Reports of

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Challenge #02401-F211: Nothing Up Their Sleeve

After humans meet aliens, they witness an alien do what we now call magic. After a explanation it turns out human can use magic, but the earth has a natural 'magic jammer' in the atmosphere that blocks magic. Humans then push the know magic research to the max and open new doors for the galaxy in magic. -- Anon Guest

[AN: This is obviously not happening in Amalgam Universe]

"What was that?" demanded the Human.

Theroq put their wand back into its

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Challenge #02399-F209: They Can't Have Nice Things Anymore

Aliens learn about the furry/scalie communities, which lead to both awkward and helpful situations. -- Anon Guest

"Huh. How about that?"

This surprised remark was not unexpected over morning nourishment hours, since many were prone with checking their news updates. Someone, somewhere, was bound to find out something interesting that was worthy of a similar comment. Therefore, Grux, who preferred to huddle over their morning nutrition and stimulants, said, "How about what?"

"Humans..." this delivered with a seemingly mandatory eye-roll. "There's

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Challenge #02389-F199: Be Prepared

There is always an outsider. One that, although they accepted the risks of space travel, are extremely hesitant to accept any OTHER risks. -- Anon Guest

The Humans have a very apt saying: There's always one. In this case, there's always one traveller who takes certain aspects of travel way too casually... and others way too seriously.

The livesuit was one of the best ones on the market. In-suit cleansing, bio-attachments, and necessary padding in silky comfort. The manufacturers bragged that a

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Challenge #02388-F198: Nibbled to Death...

There is a myth about the Shattering. It states that the Shattering was put into motion by one human, one that had seen the future. -- Anon Guest

Five hundred years makes all the difference. For Earth, it viewed all its sundry colonies as a form of backup. Not just for the Human race, but also for the data and knowledge the colonials took with them. Surely, they reasoned, the colonists would keep such vital information about their beginning days.

Of such

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Challenge #02386-F196: Please Ask

When you have an interest, you have something to enjoy in the humdrum of daily life. -- Anon Guest

Welcome to Podunk Station. Mind the legos. This is a natural result of leaving three to five Humans largely alone for long periods of time. Though their daily duties are many, Humans are naturally lazy and figured out how to streamline the humdrum necessities of daily existence... and then sought out new ways to keep busy during their non-active hours.

Fortunately, some of

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Challenge #02384-F194: Attitude Adjustor

There always a foul-mouthed human within every group, but when there a kid nearby, they put on a mask and they're the politest creature you ever met. -- Anon Guest

They say that people who curse a lot are more likely to be honest. If that is true, then Human Nor was the most honest being in the known universe. If they came with a censor beep, others might be mistaken for believing they were speaking in morse code. Unfortunately for those

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Challenge #02383-F193: No More Pencils...

Can we hear more about the changes in intergalactic schools? (And can two of them be the removal of perfect attendance "awards" and school lunches that even the most well behaved child can't choke down?) -- Anon Guest

The Cogniscent Rights Committee had a lot to say about Terran Standard Schooling, especially that of the pre-shattering era, relics of which can still be found in Terran colonies. Nothing it had to say about the school system was polite. They tried, but there

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Challenge #02371-F181: Colour-coded For Inconvenience

"Don't touch that, it's hot."

"It doesn't look hot."

"Hot things are red on Terra." -- Anon Guest

"Uh. Not exactly," said a nearby Human. "Not all red things are hot, and not all hot things are red. For your safety, check for radiant heat," they demonstrated, holding their hand above the surface and gradually approaching touching it until they pulled away. "This one is actually hot. See?"

The tourists huddled together a little. "That is how you test for heat on

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Challenge #02365-F175: Motivational Inspiration

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo -- Anon Guest

It was vaguely conical, and smaller than the most popular cars of the late Terran Twentieth Century. This was a vessel designed to get three Humans back to their planet after a long and perilous journey to truly hostile territory. There was just enough room for three Humans and all the samples they had gathered while they were up there.

What was more worrying was the landing craft for their missions to

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Challenge #02353-F163: But it Looks Like Fun

I can't believe I have to say this but, stay out of volcanoes. -- Anon Guest

Of all the multiple and nuanced arguments in favour of Humanity being an insane species, there is one that is simply one word:

Vulcanologists.

Though the field of science exists across any species born on a world with tectonic activity, only the Humans ever came up with the idea of wandering around and poking at a mountain that might explode. Everyone else was sensible about it,

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Challenge #02351-F161: Needs Salt and Pepper

Drug PSA's from America are always funny for me to watch. Esecially the Infamous "This is your Bain on Drugs" or the one with Peewee Herman, where he Talks about Crack.

I know IT IS a serious Problem, but i cant watch them without cracking Up (^^ teeh hee hee). Its Just so insane.

Can you make a Story about Footage of those being found by Havenworlders and they question a Human? Thanks in Advance.

For those, that have No Idea what I'm

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Challenge #02345-F155: Stressors

There are a great many types of Phobias.

Fear of Holes, Fear of Open spaces, Fear of Rain, Fear of Francesco and their Culture...

However, only Humans develop Phobias. No other species do.

(Go wild Writer ^^) -- Anon Guest

It certainly follows that those with irrational imaginations would naturally also possess irrational fears. Some have coping strategies to get around them, but some irrational fears mean never setting foot in a shuttle or small vessel. Those Humans tend to stay planetside, for

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Challenge #02344-F154: A Reason for the Season

Due to the Fact, that tomorrow is the 1st of May (Tag der Arbeit) and subsequently free of Work for me, this Prompt came into Existence:

How would free days be regulated in Space? Different Countries and Cultures have different Holidays/Offdays and Rules. How would Ship humans deal with it? How their Alien Crewmate?

(Sorry for my Bad English, im working on it ) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Never apologise for bad English, Nonny. English is a terrible language that beats up

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