Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02731-G174: A Cautionary Tale

“If you want to hurt a man, do not target him. Target what he loves. Take that which he holds dear to his heart and twist it, corrupt it, or destroy it altogether. Then and only then will you hurt him in a way that he will feel in his soul. But take heed. When you hurt a man in this way, you twist him, corrupt him, drive him to heights of rage never before thought possible. You will have turned that man into a monster, and he will be coming for you.” -- Anon Guest

If you want to hurt a Human - DON'T. -- Galactic Saying

There is a philosophy known mostly to the Greater Deregulations - with enough finance, one can theoretically get away with anything. The trick, of course, is in defining "enough". There's always something that money cannot buy.

In this case, it was safety from Human Zol. To put it briefly, the Oligarch of Greater Deregulation Far Upper East had done her family a great wrong. There isn't a Greater Deregulation Far Upper East any more, and Human Zol is the reason why. Here's how...

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Challenge #02730-G173: Hunting for the Delicate

Some older humans bring their alien friends to a bingo parlor for a night of playing bingo and having snacks. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Though I am of bingo-playing age, I only have the vaguest idea how it is played]

"This is a perfect game for the frailer sort," said Human Jem. "Little strenuous activity, but it still tests observation, response time, and searching skills."

This was a Deathworld game, so Glex knew the right question to ask. "What are you hunting?

Challenge #02729-G172: Tis the Season

Human 1: so what about you?

Human 2: I learned how to make paper cranes so I'm going to make them in different colors and put them in everyone's bedroom with notes like "this little bird told me xyz"

Human 1: ...

Human 1: epic. -- Anon Guest

Aprilfools: A Human holiday/tradition involving trickery, deceit, pranks, and practical jokes. Owing to many Terran Colony calendars becoming out of sync with the planet of origin, the entire Terran month of April has become

Challenge #02727-G170: Doing What You Can

The human was not the ship's human. They were a passenger. They were also paralyzed from the waist down. When she ship crashed, when the human's movement assistive device was rendered inoperable, when the human found themself trapped in the wreckage with half a dozen fellow passengers, all either injured or too distressed to move... Well. A sufficiently determined human with two working limbs, several cases of dental floss, a non-operative movement assistive device, and six people to rescue...is still going

Challenge #02725-G168: A Matter of Technicality

Human1: Damn if Australia pushed our level 4 deathworld to a 4.5 I’m worried about you guys exploring the unexplored 70% of our ocean.

Human2: it’s not 70% it’s 95%

Crewmate: wait what? -- Anon Guest

"Ah... that's a mis-assumption," said Thorq. "The Deathworlder classification is based on how many environmental factors are hostile to the development of intelligent life. In the case of most of the Earth, it's the fauna, the weather, the flora, and the ocean.

Challenge #02724-G167: There Goes Mischief

Ze was confident in zer ability to handle this. Ze was a level three deathworlder who worked with dangerous animals for a living! Watching a human toddler for an afternoon and evening would be no problem.

Of course, ze had made an elementary mistake...ze had failed to realize that just because the child still spoke Scribble and could only walk at a slow, bobbling shuffle on two legs didn't stop them from booking it on all fours, or climbing the furniture.

Challenge #02723-G166: Just Add Zombies

This prompt issues to an earlier story from two years ago. https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-01928-e104-tag-you-re-undead. One that gave me a wicked little grin, though I did have to search a bit to find it again.

Zombie tag. That was a game, and an experiment, that was both famous and infamous. Since its inception a few years ago, it had become a wildly popular thing that became a new sport. How long could teams last against the "zombies"? Rules were drawn

Challenge #02721-G164: Hail Poetry!

The sign said "Old Terran style poetry for sale! Custom sonnets, written for you about what you love, in GalStand! Please fill out form and provide one Hour; finished poem will be sent to you within the next ten days. 50% discount for JOATs." The human seated at the table the sign hung from had a large stack of blank forms, a couple of completed forms, several one Hour notes, a notebook, and what looked like several kinds of dictionary. They were

Challenge #02720-G163: A Short Sharp Lesson

Have you even seen humans stomping their feet while chanting the same thing all at once? It’s sometimes hard to believe they’re not a hive mind https://youtu.be/PmILOL55xP0 -- Anon Guest

[AN: Video linked contains swearwords and is a war scene]

They said the Human colonists were sessile. They were weak and vulnerable. Look at them, not a single weapon in their entire set of settlements. They were fat and lazy. Allegedly. I learned, just as many of

Challenge #02718-G161: One Cozy Afternoon in a Test Colony Complex

They'd been surveying the planet for several months now, the haven-worlders and their human friends. The planet was more than sufficient for colonization, that seemed to be sure, but they wanted to see how the changing of the seasons played out in full. Sitting within the large shelter base they'd set up, the humans feeding more wood into the fireplace they'd absolutely insisted on building into the design of the base, the captain had an odd feeling of peace as they relaxed

Challenge #02716-G159: An Oldie But a Goodie

The ship is being raided by pirates, you and the human locked yourselves in the storage bay. The human is applying some liquid on their skin, asking “could you help me put on the shield generator?” You assisted them asking what they trying to do. “I’m gonna do a old scare tactic” while talking they snap their fingers and flames begin to cover their arms -- Anon Guest

Humans are insane. Many people acknowledge this on an intellectual level as most

Challenge #02714-G157: The Extra Option

Humans love stories. Humans also love adventure, and choice, and danger. Thus was born the "choose your own adventure" style of story. A small group of level 5 havenworlders, in an attempt to improve their genetics, undertake reading one of these stories, with the goal to "survive" to the end of the book. They quickly discover that survival alone does not always a "good" ending make. -- Anon Guest

Level Five Havenworlders should not exist. Just as Level Five Deathworlders should not

Challenge #02713-G156: Pax Origins

A shockingly smart and devastatingly cruel crew track, hunt, raid, and kill the biggest threats to peaceful ships. -- LatinoThor

They called themselves Dragons, for the ancient tradition marking hazardous seas with, Here There Be Dragons. Their territory was astonishingly vast for what encounter logs suggested was one ship. The last records in the surviving black boxes stated that one ship was seen, but that didn't mean that just one ship was there.

Authorities were slower to act about the attacks, since

Challenge #02712-G155: But I Want It

Everyone's heard of the Terrible Twos. Well, everyone who's familiar with raising human infants. A piece of information that's been surprisingly slow to make its way around, though, is that those years are only so terrible because the little ones have wants and needs and thoughts that they don't know how to communicate; a combination of not being exposed to the words for what they feel and having tongues too big for their mouths, making it near impossible to articulate the words

Challenge #02711-G154: Helping Companions

An instructor greets his new students in the class known as "Know Your Human" A class meant to prepare various individuals for the maddeningly wonderful work known as being a human's companion.

It is well known that humans are insane, dangerous, and violent. And yet, they are also the most gentle, kind, thoughtful, and soothing species in the galaxy. You will find they are wild, yet tame, they are beyond stupid, yet terrifyingly brilliant, they brought their furry headaches known as cats,

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A 2270-post collection

Challenge #02731-G174: A Cautionary Tale

Challenge #02730-G173: Hunting for the Delicate

Challenge #02729-G172: Tis the Season

Challenge #02727-G170: Doing What You Can

Challenge #02725-G168: A Matter of Technicality

Challenge #02724-G167: There Goes Mischief

Challenge #02723-G166: Just Add Zombies

Challenge #02721-G164: Hail Poetry!

Challenge #02720-G163: A Short Sharp Lesson

Challenge #02718-G161: One Cozy Afternoon in a Test Colony Complex

Challenge #02716-G159: An Oldie But a Goodie

Challenge #02714-G157: The Extra Option

Challenge #02713-G156: Pax Origins

Challenge #02712-G155: But I Want It

Challenge #02711-G154: Helping Companions