Humans Are Weird

A 167-post collection

Challenge #03693-J040: Nothing Wrong in Here

A strange noise is coming out of the human habitat. When they look in, the pet is rushing around like it's half-insane. The human chuckles and calls it the "midday zoomies". -- Anon Guest

Companion Xaal had detected strange noises inside Human Per's habitat. A rhythmic thumping and an irregular vocalisation that could imply physical or mental distress. Alarmed, ze entered the emergency code that let hir into the Human's area.

Human Per was jumping up and down, arms and legs going in different directions at random. The noise coming from hir throat was some strange mix of a giggle and a hum.

"What in the known universe is this? Are you well?" Scans indicated that Humans Per had expected health levels, though hir heart rate was understandably high. "Is this a Human thing or a Per thing?"

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Challenge #03602-I313: Water it Down!

Two Humans angrily fighting each other, bare-fisted, in a hallway. The instant a Havenworlder child comes around the corner and sees it, and they spot the child, they stop, instantly, growl they'll "deal with it later", and do their best to try to avoid frightening the youngster. -- DaniAndShali

There was an irregular thumping noise in the halls. Touring through them, the thumping got louder, but less explicable. West turned the corner and saw something really confusing. The Ships' Humans were sort

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Challenge #03581-I292: Weighted Memories

Other than times on official duty, our human often wears a backpack with small, but very heavy, metal balls. Especially when they were on the small exercise area set up for them that included some treadmills, exercycles, and other equipment. We wonder, why burden themself like that while exercising, especially since it's a normal 1 grav environment already? -- Anon Guest

Humans, it is widely known, are strange. Human Xia is stranger than most. When not on duty, she purposely weighs herself

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Challenge #03540-I252: Stubborn, Independant, Exasperating...

Companion (concerned): Human, why are you on the floor?

Human (commando crawling down the hall): My com's busted, my back gave out, and I can't walk, so I'm making my way to medical. Help? -- Escla

It's always a good idea for a Companion to keep track of their assigned Human. Like an ocean or a Starting Education Facility[1], one does not gain good results from turning away from a force of chaos.

Case in point. Human Ham was slowly making

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Challenge #03473-I185: Occupational Hazard

The entire ship is worried, the companion is starting to feel stressed. Why? The human has begun to mention how they've been getting bored lately. -- The New Guy

Humans are very strange. For a species of Deathworlders, they can both be remarkably gung-ho, and also remarkably paranoid. Often, it's the same Human being both. They will keep animals that would eat their bodies if they died. Some keep animals that would eat them when they're asleep. Some are content with routine

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Challenge #03439-I151: One Last Hurrah

A rough topic, but just had this conversation with a coworker and it made me realize how alien the idea of "rallies" are. For those that don't know, a rally "is an unexpected return of mental clarity and memory, or suddenly regained consciousness that occurs in the time shortly before death".

A: (Excited and happy) "Do you two remember my friend that has been sick for the last few months? The one that they didn't think would make it? ...He woke up!

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Challenge #03396-I108: Are You Sure They're Deathworlders?

A human brings their two beloved pets, a pair of gentle capybaras, aboard station with them. And their antics are just too adorable! -- Anon Guest

[AN: I have only witnessed capybaras being chill and hanging out like they have no flakks to give]

They were on leashes, so they had to be pets. Everything else was a matter of debate, especially among the Designated Companions who were watching them board. There was Human Gene and the two... creatures placidly following in

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Challenge #03387-I099: Complicated Human Rituals

The ships humans, after having ordered a larger than normal amount of supplies, decide to surprise their crewmates in the survey camp, by getting up extra early to fix a big, lovely, breakfast. -- Anon Guest

It's not easy to sleep when there's a predator trying to be quiet in the immediate vicinity. Humans count as predators. Surveyor Thait was finding this out, as she tried to sleep, at the hour that the team Humans were calling "Sparrow Fart". Humans. They had

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Challenge #03316-I028: The Difficult Concept of Free

The Phlorans heard a distress call, a actual distress call as a lifepod was shooting through the atmosphere from a ship that had been badly damaged from a micrometeoroid that hit what was, essentially, a ship made of the proverbial "chicken wire and string". They opened the pod to find an injured individual and managed, at least, to keep them healthy with printed foods, and clean water, but due to solar storms, could not signal out for at least a week or

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Challenge #03306-I018: The Great Leveler

The Humans are dead. A futile effort to go against the almighty. Among the field of the fallen, one rose among the dead. Cloaked in black, it barely had any strength to stand. A barrage of concentrated plasma hit it dead on, as the dust settled, the only thing the barrage did was knock off its hood. It was no human, it lacked any flesh. It was just bones and in its desolate eyes was hazy blue flame. Its jaw opened, spilling

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Challenge #03299-I011: A Specific Punctuation Mark

It's known, now, why human women have menses, and well documented within the Alliance's medical databases about human reproduction. However, what about those early years, when they were first getting to know more about humans? When human females were having their menses, especially when it was a young female who was having hers for the first time. How hard was it for them in these early days to realize that the humans bled like this for over a week, a heavy blood

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Challenge #03190-H281: The Classics

A human introduces their friends to 2001: A Space Odyssey and its sequel 2010: The year we make contact. -- Anon Guest

Humans love to share things. Food, games, experiences, and culturally significant milestones. One common way they do this is a phenomena known as Movie Night, where the Human in question shares entertainments from an astonishing store of media ranging from subtle to gross.

The CRC are still looking at how to handle Humanity's media made for their children. That stuff

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Challenge #03164-H255: Earth Plus Water Equals Friendship?

The path to real friendship is paved with really stupid shit. Hey my friend, sorry about that! Here, let me get that mud off of you. -- Anon Guest

There is a saying among Galactics, Pack-bonding will happen whether you want it or not. It is never said by Humans. When they found out about it they laughed.

It was certainly a very true saying for Companion Tros, who had just met her Ships' Human in a cascade of mud, tumbles, and

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Challenge #03160-H251: How to Save Human

Humans are too eager, sometimes, to protect us. We appreciate it, we rely on it, we've become highly dependent on it. Some of us... may have even grown weaker, relying on our living shields far too much. They are far too willing to throw their lives away for us, we must get them to see, their lives are worth just as much as ours are. -- Lessons

It is universally agreed that Humans, as a species, are insane. They have to be.

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Challenge #03137-H228: Medicinal Herb Misuse

Despite being Deathworlders themselves, they hired a human who was an expert at debugging computer systems, at engineering, and at improvising fast solutions when things went south. They looked like large, bipedal, cats, including claws that could pull in or be exposed when needed. They made sure they hired a human who was not allergic to fur, or felines. However, when the human started growing catnip, using it to sooth himself when they had trouble sleeping at night, the beings realized it

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