Humans Are Weird

A 161-post collection

Challenge #03396-I108: Are You Sure They're Deathworlders?

A human brings their two beloved pets, a pair of gentle capybaras, aboard station with them. And their antics are just too adorable! -- Anon Guest

[AN: I have only witnessed capybaras being chill and hanging out like they have no flakks to give]

They were on leashes, so they had to be pets. Everything else was a matter of debate, especially among the Designated Companions who were watching them board. There was Human Gene and the two... creatures placidly following in hir wake. As well as a large volume of accessories.

"They can't be cats. Humans don't make domestic cats that big," Companion Mar whispered. "Don't they?"

"I don't think they're dogs, either," murmured Companion Yigh. "They are the size and weight of many dogs, but... the configuration is off.

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Challenge #03387-I099: Complicated Human Rituals

The ships humans, after having ordered a larger than normal amount of supplies, decide to surprise their crewmates in the survey camp, by getting up extra early to fix a big, lovely, breakfast. -- Anon Guest

It's not easy to sleep when there's a predator trying to be quiet in the immediate vicinity. Humans count as predators. Surveyor Thait was finding this out, as she tried to sleep, at the hour that the team Humans were calling "Sparrow Fart". Humans. They had

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Challenge #03316-I028: The Difficult Concept of Free

The Phlorans heard a distress call, a actual distress call as a lifepod was shooting through the atmosphere from a ship that had been badly damaged from a micrometeoroid that hit what was, essentially, a ship made of the proverbial "chicken wire and string". They opened the pod to find an injured individual and managed, at least, to keep them healthy with printed foods, and clean water, but due to solar storms, could not signal out for at least a week or

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Challenge #03306-I018: The Great Leveler

The Humans are dead. A futile effort to go against the almighty. Among the field of the fallen, one rose among the dead. Cloaked in black, it barely had any strength to stand. A barrage of concentrated plasma hit it dead on, as the dust settled, the only thing the barrage did was knock off its hood. It was no human, it lacked any flesh. It was just bones and in its desolate eyes was hazy blue flame. Its jaw opened, spilling

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Challenge #03299-I011: A Specific Punctuation Mark

It's known, now, why human women have menses, and well documented within the Alliance's medical databases about human reproduction. However, what about those early years, when they were first getting to know more about humans? When human females were having their menses, especially when it was a young female who was having hers for the first time. How hard was it for them in these early days to realize that the humans bled like this for over a week, a heavy blood

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Challenge #03190-H281: The Classics

A human introduces their friends to 2001: A Space Odyssey and its sequel 2010: The year we make contact. -- Anon Guest

Humans love to share things. Food, games, experiences, and culturally significant milestones. One common way they do this is a phenomena known as Movie Night, where the Human in question shares entertainments from an astonishing store of media ranging from subtle to gross.

The CRC are still looking at how to handle Humanity's media made for their children. That stuff

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Challenge #03164-H255: Earth Plus Water Equals Friendship?

The path to real friendship is paved with really stupid shit. Hey my friend, sorry about that! Here, let me get that mud off of you. -- Anon Guest

There is a saying among Galactics, Pack-bonding will happen whether you want it or not. It is never said by Humans. When they found out about it they laughed.

It was certainly a very true saying for Companion Tros, who had just met her Ships' Human in a cascade of mud, tumbles, and

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Challenge #03160-H251: How to Save Human

Humans are too eager, sometimes, to protect us. We appreciate it, we rely on it, we've become highly dependent on it. Some of us... may have even grown weaker, relying on our living shields far too much. They are far too willing to throw their lives away for us, we must get them to see, their lives are worth just as much as ours are. -- Lessons

It is universally agreed that Humans, as a species, are insane. They have to be.

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Challenge #03137-H228: Medicinal Herb Misuse

Despite being Deathworlders themselves, they hired a human who was an expert at debugging computer systems, at engineering, and at improvising fast solutions when things went south. They looked like large, bipedal, cats, including claws that could pull in or be exposed when needed. They made sure they hired a human who was not allergic to fur, or felines. However, when the human started growing catnip, using it to sooth himself when they had trouble sleeping at night, the beings realized it

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Challenge #03113-H204: Proof in the Party

Our comments gave me an idea!

Companion Gann carefully wrote the scientific paper after several months of reading up on Humans' relationship with water. He brought the report to his people with the shocking, incredible, revelation that Humans were, in fact, mammals that were semi-amphibious by their very nature! The scientific community in his world was in an uproar, many hotly debating it and demanding proof. Huge pools of clean water were set that were quite deep, safeties were placed, just in

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Challenge #03100-H192: Unusual Pun-Ishment

The prisoner was sitting cuffed to a chair that was welded to the floor. The human was sitting with a pile of books next to them across the metal table that was also welded to the floor. The chair was not uncomfortable and the cuffs were padded.

[Pirate] "I will never tell you the size of our group or who our captains are. You're wasting your time!"

[Human interrogator with a sigh] "Are you sure? I really don't want to have to

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Challenge #03084-H176: Hello Again, Little Friend

They had crashed on a planet where the atmosphere was toxic. The pods were safe and able to be moved together to create a larger shelter, and with only four of them, the shelter was big enough for at least a month, though rescue stated they'd be there in about two weeks given the distance and lack of short cuts in that area. Their patient's infection showed by day two. The human frowned, seeing it, then began to cut apart citrus peels

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Challenge #03083-H175: Anything is Ammo

A: "What's that?"

H: "What's what?"

A: "That odd thing you're working on." Indicating the odd contraption attached to the human's suit that the human was carefully adding conditioning agent to the strong, stretching, straps

H: "Oh, this? That's just my wrist rocket"

A: "Wrist Rocket?"

H: "My slingshot"

A: ........................................... -- DaniAndShali

"Aw, don't look at me in that tone of voice," said Human Ess, still tinkering with the simple device. It was nothing more than a forked frame, some stretchy straps,

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Challenge #03064-H156: Shall We Play a Game?

Anyone who ran a table would understand. -- AmberFox

[AN: Yeah nah that's a bad sesh there. And maybe bad management]

The life of the game master holds many roles. Storyteller, co-ordinator, plot-weaver... and primary parental to a group of people with the collective intelligence of a tadpole. It wasn't their fault. Not entirely. Players in a game this complicated had other things to concern themselves with between sessions. They had lives, errands, work, trivialities, and assorted nonsense that obscured their memories.

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Challenge #03066-H143: Could is Not Should

Human: "Excuse me?"

Alliance Member: "Yes?"

Human: "I .. um.... kinda... messed up again."

Alliance Member: "Oh it's you.... OH! You didn't, please not again!?"

Human: "I really thought I could do it this time." The human held their broken arm and looked over at the trees that looked as though something large had just ripped through several of the small branches and leaves.

Alliance Member: "HOW many times do we have to tell you? Stop trying to get to the very top

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