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Amalgam Universe

A 2270-post collection

Challenge #02934-H011: The Songs We Sing

give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock 'n' roll and drift away -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link leads to a video with parody lyrics that is for real a 2020 mood. Offensensitivity warning for crude language]

The Humans were singing. This was nothing new. The matter of what they were singing was up to debate. The tune was familiar, but the words kept changing.

"Gimmie the yeast, boy/ and knead my rolls, I wanna get lost in the sour dough/ and drift awaaaayyyy..."

Companion Kesh was reasonably certain that those were not the original lyrics. Especially since the Humans were laughing about this. This was not, evidently, a case of getting stuck on what the words were. This was a contest of alternative lyrics. Filk[1], as some of them called it.

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Challenge #02933-H010: Devil's in the Fine Print

You are going to learn to read, whether you like it or not! I will drag you into literacy kicking and screaming if I have to! -- Anon Guest

"Whyyyy..." whined Rin. "Everything's audio or video. Nobody reads." The last word said with a sneer. As if literacy was a disfiguring and unwelcome disease.

"People still read," said Van. "Let me tell you about the people who read, they're the people who have to read, because they're the ones who write the

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Challenge #02913-G356: Poverty to Profit

As it turns out, some aspects of my life are so horrible that people think I'm making stuff up for shock value. -- Anon Guest

Human Daz always had one week of food on their person, and an atmospheric condenser that stowed two Sivu[1] of purified water. They had a very small molecular reassembler integrated with their livesuit that could only make one thing - Nutrifood Paste. It had one job and it did it very well. The livesuit was a

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Challenge #02931-H008: Okay We Know That Was Silly

Two humans go to the infirmary with hands covered in blisters. At first, the medic thinks they got heat-burned. But the tests show the blisters are from frostbite. When asked, the humans shrug and went "We wanted to see who could hold ice in our hands the longest, and to make it more fun, we added salt to our hands, first. We were just goofing off." -- Anon Guest

The leading cause of dangerous injury to Humans was Humans "just goofing off"

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Challenge #02930-H007: A Gift in Kind

They were supposed to be a massive, mindless, killing machines, huge and terrifying to behold, they were thin, nearly hairless, and soft-bodied under their suits. I'd heard so much of these beings, we all have, that the idea of one of their ships docking at this newly built station scared many of us to nearly soiling ourselves. Galactic Law required us to let them dock, they were in need of aid, their ship damaged almost beyond recognition.

They were supposed to be

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Challenge #02927-H004: Flight of the Sandman

They were deep into enemy territory, surrounded, lost, and at a massive disadvantage. They were in the valley, their enemies had the hill and it was breezy, though the breeze blew away from them. They could use the sleep powder the havenworlders had invented for their insomnia-riddled human friend, but the climb was steep and they'd get noticed. Then the human had an idea. They made black string and took long strips of black sheets of matte plastic, and then put it

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Challenge #02926-H003: Risk Assessment Monarchs

The humans were having a rave. The music was old-fashioned techno music as one would hear in the pre-shattering era known as the 1980's and 1990's. The music flashed, many had glow-sticks, the dance floor flashed colors and there were bright, but harmless, laser lights. And a Vorax raiding party, landing on the planet, stumbled into the rave by accident.

Just in case someone's not been to a rave or heard rave music at it's most wild, basically - it's this, but

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Challenge #02925-H002: He Prefers the First Option

Violence is never the answer. But it’s a very effective solution -- Anon Guest

There are two potential results of being the deadliest person in armed or unarmed combat. One is that nobody wants to mess with you. The other, paradoxically, is that everyone wants to mess with you. It's a thing. Once you get a reputation for being the biggest thing in the known universe, everyone who thinks they can be a bigger thing wants to take you on as

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Challenge #02923-G366: Bad at Risk Assessment

"And what brings you to medical, human?"

"I took my particle mask off when I should have left it on. That was, uh, five days ago? I'm pretty sure I've coughed up all the stuff I inhaled, since the phlegm isn't pointy any more, but I'm still coughing, and my lungs itch. I would have waited longer to bother you about it, but I've been kinda short of breath today, so I thought I'd come in before it got any worse." --

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Challenge #02920-G363: You Laugh, We Win

A: It’s ovew bwothew, i have the high gwound! OwO

B: Chu undewestimated mwy powew.

A: Don’t twy it -- Anon Guest

[AN: Honestly, nothing is better for a giggle than translating badass lines into Owo.]

The fake battle involved bippy hammers[1] and amusing melodrama, much to the amusement of everyone else in the room. There was so much amusement that some were concerned about their ability to breathe. Companion Grox, perching far above melee range, was making sure

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Challenge #02919-G362: Pass It On

I'd like to know more about Human Gis and her discovery of the flower that helped ease, then cure, her bad cough and helped heal the scar tissue in her lungs. Did the kid get credit for her discovery? Maybe a bonus? And did her companion help her with her self-esteem?

It's from this story from back in May. https://peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02685-g128-little-yellow-different -- DaniAndShali

It would eventually be named the Rentiniv Daisy, via several miscommunications and some typography errors.

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Challenge #02915-G358: A Super-effective Tactic

The ship had a room labeled "dedicated deathworlder hobby location". For some time, this was considered to be sufficient. Then, they got a second deathworlder...and after the third time both deathworlders had to report to medical due to crafting tool related injuries stemming from frustration spawned combat with regards to shared airspace causing one project to be ruined by the airborne particulate from another project, well...

Something had to be done. -- Anon Guest

Human hobbies are baffling to most cogniscents

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Challenge #02914-G357: Ia Ia Lobby F'thagn

Lobsters do not die of old age and don’t stop growing. They die when they become too big to moult properly. So we’re gonna take a lobster and help it moult over generations, and create a Leviathan god -- Anon Guest

Humans don't take theories at face value. They like to prove things in practice. They like to answer questions with, "We tried it and..." This could be either seen as a flaw or a benefit. It generally comes out

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Challenge #02912-G355: All in Good Fun

A: you’ll never catch me!

B: bold and words for some in BFG range

As the human pulls the trigger a stream of foam balls fly across the room

C: what does BFG stand for anyway?

B: Big Foam Gun, what else?

C: well I thought it was Big F** Gun, but that works too. -- Anon Guest

"Well, that's what it used to stand for, pre-Shattering or something. I think. I'm not that up on my entertainment history. Most of

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Challenge #02911-G354: You Raided the Wrong Planet

A backwater, mudball of a planet that’s home to the galaxies 3rd best interstellar circus comes under attack! -- LatinoThor45

Five hundred years has changed a lot of things. Thousands of years in deep-time colonies has changed so very, very much more. The nature of Circus has evolved. There is no animal exploitation. The trained creatures present are holograms. Artificial intelligences carefully monitored by the CRC and the AI Alliance. They were not that smart, and carefully made to be so.

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