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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #02061-E237: Escape the Camp

(Person 1): "What did you get in your care package from home?"

(Person 2, happily): "Military-grade explosives!" -- TheDragonsFlame

The weatherproof box said 'Plasticine' and contained some ridiculously disproportionate cartoon characters on it. Inside were wax-paper wrapped blocks of brightly-coloured stuff that one might expect to be plasticine. But, to a non-casual observer, it wasn't... quite... plasticine.

It was amazing that the guards let it past, to be honest. But then again, Monty and the boys had been spending months on putting the goons to sleep with the sheer monotony of their "good behaviour". They probably didn't even bother looking beyond the wax paper. Just like they didn't know about the maps that came in via playing cards or the more elaborate ones concealed in board games. Or any number of little treasures that they hid in any number of places.

That's what they got for putting "all the bad eggs in one basket." They got the most devious, devilish, and determined escapologists tying up enemy resources. People who could make a pair of wire cutters out of an empty bully beef tin and have three escape plans before the goons finished ushering them into the camp. Bad eggs like them could keep the enemy scrambling for some significant time with this stuff.

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Friday Already?

I lost track, somewhere in the middle of the week. Nevertheless, I did manage to do all my blogly duties. And my writing quotas.

And I learned about this horseshit in which the people lobbying to quash climate change for profit are also preparing for a climate change related apocalypse by buying homes in New Zealand.

Sailing the hypocri-sea much?

Point that out to any of them and they have the power to firkin destroy your life.

I hate rich people.

They

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Challenge #02060-E236: The Way to Make Change

Humans gonna Human -- TheDragonsFlame

A mother in a war zone hands her baby up to a complete stranger, knowing that they may never meet again, but her child has a chance at something better than this. Bullets sing through the air. Fire turns the surrounding landscape into tones of amber. And the last evacuation vehicle leaves the few remaining to their fate. The mother smiles anyway, and waves 'bye-bye' to her child. Pretending, perhaps for a last handful of minutes, that

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I Dunno...

Liposomal vit C worked to lift my spirits, reset my energy levels, and otherwise make me make myself do things. BUT it tastes like arse and I really can't do my dose of that on the daily.

It's psychologically implausible.

Sugarless vit C comes in a handy "chewable" tablet that I swallow whole because I firkin hate chewable vitamins. It gets digested anyway, right? What sadistic genius invented "chewable" vitamins anyway?

I was made to suck on those intensely citrusy bastards when

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Challenge #02059-E235: Betrayal is a Two-Way Street

“You really ought to learn not to be so trusting,” ze sneered. “The world’s a dangerous place.”

“Clearly you’ve never met a pissed-off human before.” She smiled. “Please, allow me to... enlighten you.” -- Anon Guest

The Human interlaced her fingers and twisted them about to make a sound like several walnuts being crushed at once. While the guards were wincing at that intolerable sound, she casually purloined one of their polearms and used it to stun the other one.

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Self Discipline is...

Self discipline is doing the thing even when you don't want to.

Self discipline is turning off Discord so I'm not distracted as much.

Self discipline is setting my other browser windows to less interesting content so I don't wind up scrolling through shitposts all day.

Self discipline is allowing myself to have a small treat when I'm done with my work. Or it would be, if my dear little darlings hadn't left me with nothing but my Beloved's liquorice to snack

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Challenge #02058-E234: Microquest

Dragon Microbiologist. That is all. -- TheDragonsFlame

The beast had been spotted over rivers and streams. Its visits were always brief, but they were methodical. Which was why Sir Valiant had been able to catch it at this point.

"Hold," he demanded, when the dragon lit at this particular point in the river that fed the city its water. "What vile villainy do you have planned, foul beast?"

The dragon turned its mighty head and examined Sir Valiant with each eye. "Pardon?

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Wat

As you know, I ate baby spinach 48 hours ago and I should have experienced...

MASSIVE INTESTINAL DISTRESS

[/reverb]

But no. I didn't. I sailed through the day with no sickness. No upset. Not even a liquid fart.

Not, as Bluebottle was wont to say, a sausage.

Either I can consume baby spinach without much trouble or... I could finally be past my previous troubles with the entire subgroup of foods.

I don't want to point to keto being that miraculous, but.

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Challenge #02057-E233: In-sult-roduction

A genetically upgraded cat is hired as a ship's crew member. The Captain unfortunately thinks that since ancient cats hunted vermin, this crew-member would do the same. -- Anon Guest

When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. -- Ancient Human Mnemonic/Caution.

Mixi Thicktail made certain she was crisp, businesslike, and formal. This was her first posting on a UFTP vessel and people had doubtless heard things about Nufurria and its residents by now. The difference between

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50% Battery

This weekend was a little more crowded than I like. Mayhem's birthday and associated running around. Mayhem's work and the resultant Leyland's Tour.

I didn't get as much nothing done as I wanted. So my internal reserves are less than I like. And face it, I gorged on No-No food all weekend.

My will check will be passing on all the leftover carbage in the house which includes one of my hardy perennial weaknesses - Fry's Turkish Delight. My other weaknesses are

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Challenge #02056-E232: Fudged-Up Normal

As an orphan you were adopted by the local crime syndicate, and we’re just adorable enough that they were determined to give you a better life.

You have just beat up someone from your school and a phone call has been made home for a disciplinary meeting. The school is about to meet “The Family”. -- Anon Guest

There's a phrase I've come to know well over the years. I couldn't repeat it in full before I turned sixteen, but the

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FUBAR'ed Again

Mayhem re-scheduled a make-up day to today so he could have his birthday. Fine. I made plans to drop him off at the train station so he could get there and get back.

Snag one: After taking literally two short trips inside city limits, he has somehow spent $35 of the $45 he had on his transit card.

Snag two: There are no trains today.

After turning the air blue, I drive back to the train station, set up the GPS, and

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Challenge #02055-E231: Weapons of Mass Deception

"[Blank] can't expect us to just cry on command, " Person A muttered. They got a sniffle in reply and when they glanced over the tears were already streaming down person B's face.

"Are you serious?" Person A said.

Person B just grinned at them and choked back a fake sob. -- OohLookShiny

"They don't have much experience with women," Human Jori reminded them. "They operate based entirely off of entertainments, which are full of... regrettable stereotypes."

"Which is why we're wearing pink

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Good News?

Mayhem managed to swing his birthday off for a make-up day at work. He's going tomorrow.

Which means we're all going bifdy shopping together. Hooray.

Which means I have about two hours to do my work before my time is no longer my own.

And the focus capabilities of a concussed whelk.

I need good luck.

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Challenge #02054-E230: Dirt's Worth

"Look I'm okay with you scapegoating this onto me-"

"What? Why!"

"But next time warn me first. Do you know how hard it is to turn a weak lie into a strong one with no background info?" -- OohLookShiny

"Okay," Marvin allowed. "But... I still need to know why. Most people react to being pushed under the omnibus with vengeance."

Lady Anthe sat on the table so she could level a glare at the Human Fighter. "I'm a Kobold. The first name

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