A 17-post collection

Challenge #03960-J308: Theory V Practice

break pasta

throw pasta in kettle


open ketchup bottle

sprinkle diced pineapple

“Human, I have recreated the dish known as spaghetti”

“I probably don’t have Italian ancestors, but something is screaming” -- Anon Guest

To damn Companion Mu with faint praise, Human Rain could only say that ze had the concept correct. Cook pasta in boiling water. Add tomato sauce. And, because Rain was vegetarian, add vegetables to the mix. Theoretically, it was a pasta dish that was perfect for human consumption. Theoretically, it was perfectly edible.

Palatable was another matter entirely.

"Uhm..." Rain tried to figure out how ze could put this politely. "I know you nailed the theory, but. Um. The flavour profile isn't... quite... there."

"Wrong ingredients?" guessed Mu.

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 78 Submit a Prompt!
[Ask a question (!

Challenge #03819-J167: Artistic and Edible

A human made a tray of "silly treats." Grapes stuffed into raspberries so they looked like they were wearing little beards, unpeeled apple slices with apples spread with a bit of frosting and marshmallows to look like smiling mouths, oranges peeled to look like big, fat, flowers, etc. Why? Just to share treats with friends and to enjoy life. -- Anon Guest

Of all the foodstuff inventions created by Humans, the most famous is their food-on-a-stick. The second most famous is, interestingly

Read more »

Challenge #03817-J165: Uniquely Deathworlder Fare

"Popcorn! It's been so long!"

"You heat the seeds until they...explode? This is a treat-food? Humans." -- Anon Guest

"Empty calories. Bland and harmless on its own. They take up the flavour of whatever you put with them." Human Meis grinned, still fondling the seemingly harmless orange-yellow seeds in their care package. "The process of making it might be bad for you little squishies, but the finished product? You might like it. I'll do you some caramel corn an I'll have

Read more »

Challenge #03226-H317: Those Who Cut It

A new cooking school opens up that is considered one of the hardest schools of that type to be in. Where almost all classes were like competitions and the instructors were very strict. Even to become a student, one had to sign a waiver stating that they knew they could be dropped from the program at any moment if their scores in the classes got too low. Still, for those that graduated, they were considered among some of the best chefs in

Read more »

Thursday, Day 0, Sleepless

Plague news: One new case, local transmission. Forty-nine total cases and forty-one are in hospital.

I've been awake since one-a-firkin-em this morning. I decided to use that time for a cooking experiment involving keto-friendly cheesecake. The cheesecake may be all fail, but it's the base I'm concerned about.

Basically, the base is runny nut butter thickened up with philly until it's mouldable like play-dough. If that works, then I can resume making cheesecake like normal.

What I failed at in the cheesecake

Read more »

Challenge #02969-H046: Don't Try to Understand it

Many birds on Earth are unaffected by capsacinoids in hot peppers (mammals are bothered, but mammal digestive systems destroy the seeds of the pepper plants, while avian digestive systems let the seeds pass through unharmed). May we see some avian sentients enjoying a nice ghost pepper and carolina reaper salad with a flavorful habenero sauce? Eye-watering fumes that could bother any nearby mammals are a bonus. -- Anon Guest

Pretty much everyone agrees that Humans are fairly weird. They're hairless apes possessing

Read more »

Challenge #02644-G087: One Person's Spice...

Imagine Aliens need a Substance (like Salt, etc...) so Bad. -Mike666

"Limestone," said the Human with a raised eyebrow. "You guys need calcium carbonate? For reals?"

"The calcium carbonate is an essential mineral for us, yes. For reals."

The Human shrugged, "Well, we need sodium chloride in special amounts, so yeah. I'll try to see if we have the pure stuff for you." There was some significant rummaging about in the storage boxes. "Yeah. I

Read more »

Challenge #01876-E052: When You Put it That Way

National delicacy, the sort of stuff diplomats have to eat and appear to enjoy. Sheep's eyeballs and truly rotten fish come to mind. -- Anon Guest

"So what is this one?" And since this was the second time the Ambassador asked this question about the foodstuff before them, they didn't want to know what it was named. They wanted to know what it was made of.

"A goose's liver, after the animal has been force-fed to the point where said liver becomes

Read more »

International cuisine

Like all wisdom, some of the best food comes from outside of what we know. Beloved is determined to get this family away from western-themed bland monotony and ignorance of spices.

I miss Sweet Mustard Pickles, so Beloved has suggested a Korean version of Sauerkraut as a substitute. This version doesn't use sugar as a part of the pickling process, so I'm down with that.

We have lots of other options from all over the world. Some of which have ingredients that

Read more »

Challenge #01002-B270: Suck it, Scheherazade!

As far as I am aware, Australia is the only country in the world that eats every theoretically edible part of its national coat of arms (well, stars and crosses... bikkie form?) Roo (lean red meat, the animal is less harmful to the environment than cattle or sheep), Emu (tastes like chicken - well, kinda gamey chicken), and Wattle (seeds make a sweet flour), all eaten.

Although I guess for some countries that would be quite difficult, since they're cheating with having

Read more »

Training up the Baby Tongue

Okay, so I will admit to having a diet free of anything slightly burn-ish. The spiciest thing I cook is chilli con carne sans the chilli, and with a moderate amount of ginger instead.

Trouble is, everything everywhere is full of hotter spices than a splash of ginger.

And I often can’t stand it.

I need to train up to withstand the spicier stuff. And I need to do so in such a way as to not turn me off

Read more »

Another rant for another time #3: Overpopulation and the food crisis

I keep coming back to a webcomic I found where one of the characters says to a child, “There’s enough room in Texas for everyone in the whole world.” [Quote from memory, may not be verbatim]

It bothers me.

A lot.

Five seconds on Google reveals that the surface area of Texas is 261 914 square miles. That’s 6.78354146x10^11 square meters. About 67 835 414 600 if you want to take it long-form.


Read more »

Sausage Soup

This is another one of those “scratch” recipes, in which you scratch together whatever you have going and put it in a pot.

You will need these tools:

1 big pot
1 handy heat source, like a cooktop
1 big spoon/ladle
1 knife or other means of chopping things 

You will need these ingredients:


The quantity of these is up to you. Optional extras include: soup mix, rice, potatoes/potato powder, and

Read more »

Fried Rice? So Nice!

At last! A recipe with more than just vague hints [seriously, we’re on the internet. You should know how to google stew recipes] and some actual directions.

You will need these tools:

1 large cooking container. Woks are great, but you don’t have to have them
1 means of cooking rice. Rice cookers are great, etc. etc.
1 or more handy heat source(s) like a cooktop
1 big sturdy spoon or spatula. Trust me, I mean it

Read more »