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Dear Diary

A 3617-post collection

New regime

Beloved's been undergoing a run of tests, lately, to discover the root behind an accelerated heart rate. And the answer, dear readers, is diabetes plus cholesterol.

Since I'm still undergoing my own battery of tests, in regards to that same vital muscle, we both figured it'd be great if we got into some healthier habits. Which means breakfast for both of us, morning walks together, and mutual self-maintenance schedules.

The tricky things to do are way less tricky when there's company. It's a simple fact. So the next time you advise your friends about yoga or exercise, offer to do it with them. And start slow and easy because they're bound to be a noob at this.

Company helps. It really helps. Someone to talk with about any old nonse is a great way to almost ignore the trials of doing something you just didn't wanna do. And you don't have to talk about troubles. You can blither on about any old thing that pops into your mutual heads.

Beloved did have a point when we got back home. I did feel better for some exercise. And the hot shower together before we started. And the good ol' gasbag along the way.

And yes, I did whip out the Pokemon game because that always helps me when I'm out walking. That's how I found out about the Bluetooth Pokemon bracelet thing that's coming out RSN. Huzzah.

Highlight of the trip? I caught an Eevee and a Jigglypuff.

There's going to be a care plan for Beloved, and I'm certain there's going to be a care plan for me. And it's going to involve boring foods that taste like cardboard, I know it. Or things that cost a freakin' fortune. It's the way that the world works.

And the Medicare board has decided to cut the kinds of tests that doctors can use on their bulk-billing plan. Co-incidentally, these are the exact kinds of tests that would be mighty useful in early detection of really common problems. And the exact tests that aging baby boomers need to stay healthy. Wow. It's almost miraculous the way that happens 9_9

This is why I want messing-with-the-government money. Because I would shitstir those arseholes like a firkin PRO. But it's probably a good thing that I'm nowhere near that rich. Probably.

Ah, but I can still dream.

Can they see me?

Neil Gaiman said something interesting on his Tumblr, today. The whole post is here but the meat of it is this:

Your job isn’t to convince your teachers that they are wrong, just as it’s not your job to accept their prejudices. Your job is to learn enough from them that when you become a famous writer, whether of fantasy or of something else, they’ll have to be proud of you anyway.

And it's a lovely, inspiring message. There's

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New and interesting ways of fucking up

I usually try to never make the same mistake twice. That often leads to the title of this blog entry.

I just got over a major depressive bout (I'm still in the fragile stages FYI) and discovered that my breathing problems might just be because I'm actually having lung trouble rather than emotional issues.

It's a process of elimination, folks.

Experiencing breathing difficulty:

  • Is it a rhinovirus? Nope. Got over that.
  • Is it depression? Nope. Got over that (mostly).
  • Is it my
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What a wonderful day for my messed-up mind

Yesterday, I was having a sort-of ok day. As in, I didn't feel completely atrocious and that was a step forward. One... giant leap, if you will.

BUT I also noticed that my asthma meds were playing me up and I really should talk to the Quack because I should not be oscillating so frequently between tremula and lack of air.

According to my nails, I'm getting plenty of oxygen. According to my sensation of breathing, I'm struggling to get air.

That's

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Deeeeeeep breaths...

I have an old slanguage term from my childhood days of shaking off disease. It's 'dishraggy'. As in, feeling like a limp, slightly greasy, overdue for a wash, dishrag.

It's a very floppy feeling. The effort to raise an arm is barely worth it. The greasiness resides in the soul, and can't be washed out with all the hot bubblebaths in the world.

So, in short, I am feeling 'better'. For limited definitions of 'better. I'm more mentally prepared to be functional,

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I hate this firkin spiral

Depression sucks. Spoonlessness sucks. I have no energy because I have the sads. I have the sads because I feel like I let everyone down. I let everyone down because I lack the energy to do things for everyone. I lack the energy to do things for myself.

Down and down I go
Round and round I go
In a spin...

Well it ain't that old black magic called love, that's for sure. I know where I'm headed and it isn't a

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Urggh, I feel GROOOOSSSSSS

There's a cartoon that's shared often on Tumblr, and I relate to it greatly today.

Original Post

In my case, I've got anxiety, depression, and malaise all queueing up behind the aches and pains. Along with the usual self-doubt and defeatism that makes my life such a fun, rollercoaster-esque, dizzying, mad whirl 9_9

And in the back of my head, there's this firkin annoying little optimist who insists that I can do the thing because it will be "such fun". Yeah

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Fargnax!

MeMum actually rang and insisted that we couldn't come over and fix her computer, including the issues she had with a naughty printer because of the vital importance of copying important documents from it by hand.

Read that over a few times and try to unriddle it, because I am firkin lost.

If only there was an easier way to get those things. Like... having a device that could print copies on demand. But obviously the need for having copies of documents

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Teh PLN

MeMum's compy has been going do-lally and not behaving according to wants. And there was mention of clicking a pop-up... which might mean virii have been installed.

But then again, MeMum is legendary with technological incompetence, and could not properly install the last virus. For all I know, everything is (a) hunky, (b) dory, and, (c) not plugged in properly (again).

Nevertheless, I am installing a damn add blocker. I know some good ones. And so does Beloved.

The little darlings have

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I overdid it yesterday

I'm still not over this blasted bug, but I'm over enough to think that I can get back to healthy life.

In this case - it was a trip to the local shops to replace some foods and obtain a new potato chipper. You know the ones. The grid of blades that you feet spuds through and turn them into chips.

I was planning to use it on carrots, but that's not the story.

One trip to Woolies and one mall-crawl that

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Foam, foam, I'm deranged

If you sung that title, then you might be capable of sharing my headspace right now. Because I have my digital copy of Quintessential by Steam Powered Giraffe. Get your copy today!

I am feeling the love today. This one album of 12 songs is going to be my soundtrack for quite a bit because I'm one of those nerds who listens to one album until it makes everyone else's ears bleed.

The band has continued the fine tradition of creating songs

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Today's the Day!

I am a happy, bouncing, frothing little fanbot this morning, because the best band in the world, Steam Powered Giraffe, are releasing their newest album, Quintessential in less than six and a half hours.

I have already tuned in to the pending livestream. Where a bunch of like-minded nerds fanmily are also lying in wait and foaming at each other.

I will once again be totally incorrigible. Playing the album over and over and over, often at full blast, until everyone begs

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Sick Games I play

That is, games I play when I'm sick.

Like: "Is it really this cold, or am I feverish?"
Or: "Am I tired from virus fighting or depression?"
Or: "What dose do I really need?"
Or: "Should I be worried about this symptom?"

And my personal favourite: The Keeping Your Fluids Up 10 Metre Dunny Dash.

Three guesses what got me up at 2:30AM today?

Yeah. Illness has means of getting us down. One way or another.

So now game #2 is

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GFDI

It's one of my fave acronyms when things go agley to the point of explosive frustration. And this morning has definitely been GFDI material.

I discovered this morning that the love of my life had not acquired their 'Flu shot this year. And apparently the fact that the entire family caught a virus was enough to convince them that this year's 'Flu shots are a crock of crap.

Which meant that I had to spend some time quietly explaining the science behind

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Executive Dysfunction R Us

I have come to realise that Miss Chaos and I share more than anxiety. There's also a healthy dollop of executive dysfunction in there. Well. Not that healthy. It's a bad thing to have and it can mess up your life.

For the peeps in the cheap seats, Executive Dysfunction is when you consciously know you have to do a thing, but there's a disconnect between knowing you have to do it and actually doing the thing.

Sometimes, it's like this comic

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