Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02694-G137: A Deserved Education

One of the Greater Deregulation planets found itself short of breeding stock and extended offers to girl's schools to come study abroad at their planet. St. Trinians accepted their offer. Greater Deregulation never saw what was coming next. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Since I really don't want to nick anyone else's IP, for my universe -excepting guest cameos- I shall have to use a St. Trinian's expy for this tale]

"They can't be serious," said Dame Lorx. "An extended offer to add school branches to their territories and foster girls? On a Deregger planet?"

"On a system of Deregger planets," Lady Fulsom pointed out. "They want to import girls so they can resume their manifest destiny," here pronounced, deporably distasteful dastardly deeds[1], "and otherwise attempt to outbreed anyone they dislike."

"If they want incubators, they can damn well make their own," scoffed Dame Lorx. "They're going to keep promising to sweeten the pot until some poor deluded souls actually take them up on their offers. We can't allow that to happen."

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Challenge #02693-G136: Fighting True Evil

Several politicians within the Galactic Alliance get together to talk about Uplifts and similar beings. They begin a campaign to make it illegal to create them. Why? It should never be legal to create a cogniscent for the express purpose of enslaving and abusing them. All cogniscents have rights after all. They further were trying to get freed the many Uplifts that were currently living as property owned by others instead of being free. -- DaniAndShali

True evil, a wise man once

Challenge #02691-G134: Harmless Unless...

“My apologies but you are so similar to my damn cat”

“What make you sayyyy that?”

“Your reaction to catnip is exactly the same way as my cat” -- Anon Guest

Harmless substances are only harmless to some. Humans regularly imbibe carbonic acid because they find it tasty. In such cases, harmlessness is relative. In most cases, the phrase is "harmless but". For example, the Terran catnip plant is harmless, but it also functions as a narcotic for other species. How they

Challenge #02690-G133: Labor of Love

A human who enjoys fiber crafts goes on a quest to find the perfect material to make a soft, cuddly...thing for a havenworlder friend's birthday. The havenworlder is not from a culture that celebrates birthdays. -- Anon Guest.

"This is for a Havenworlder," said the Human in the store. "I need the friendliest fibre you've got. Soft, gentle, won't tangle in their scales or rip their little baby claws if they get caught up. I'd really prefer they didn't get caught

Challenge #02688-G131: Big and Loud

In the depts of the Archive, a Song was found. It was made Public property.

Naturally, Pax Humanis found a good use for it....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6yvrfOfLc

(Sorry, Not Sorry!) ;-) -- Mike

[AN: Warning for ten-hour video. Please don't do that to us again?]

War is an endless cycle. Tactics circle around and come blasting back from the past. In such cases, the siege turns an impasse into an endurance test. Of course, there are strategies to

Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of-- Oh Wait

Human: What's everybody so upset about?

Crew: You're here? But you told the Last Lie!

Human: Don't you know me by now? I really hate lying. -- Anon Guest

"Wait," said Human Jef. "Are you mad that I'm alive?"

This quickly turned the mood, but not by much. "Of course not," said Companion Ryl. "We were mourning your loss when you turned up at your own memorial."

"And you were saying such nice things about me until you said, Oh flakking hell,

Challenge #02686-G129: Small Messy Disruptive Creatures

It goes about on all fours, eats kibble, and gets into the trash to chew on things. Is it a dog, or a human infant? The answer is yes. And in this instance, we're very glad it was the baby, because there was cocoa powder in the trash can, and she was chewing through garbage to get to it. -- Anon Guest

Human Diz was looking even more tired than normal, and they had been tired for almost a year, but this

Challenge #02685-G128: Little, Yellow, Different

She was heavy-set, had a constant cough, but otherwise was very quiet. The human that signed aboard the science vessel was younger than they'd ever had before as an officer. The only reason it had been allowed was her parents had signed a statement saying they agreed to allow her to go and all tests indicated that she could handle the job. Botanical scientist. Her friends always called her "botany geek", to which she'd smile, laugh, and then cough. When the medics

Challenge #02684-G127: Winner Winner?

I don't know if this even a thing in other parts of Earth, but in my country very popular thing is eating cartilage from chicken legs just like every other part of meat. Foreigners are saying that this sound is the most disturbing one they ever heard. It's like very loud cracking bone.

What if herbivore heard this sound and automatically just started to look for predator in absolute terror? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Oh holy freaking Powers That Be, my daughter

Challenge #02682-G125: Safe As...

An underground facility made as comfortable as possible. However, this is an unusual place, part state-of-the-art hospital, part apartment building. The walls are soft, there are no sharp corners, the floors are soft, anything hard that can be covered with soft, is covered. There is nothing sharp here. There are dozens upon dozens of apartments in this place, and all of them the same. Soft. But there is a reason for this.

This is the facility that houses and cares for Bad

Challenge #02681-G124: Centuries of Facepalming

You hear of them all the time, seeing them screaming on the interwebs, doing podcasts, videos, protesting when new vaccines show up. When the immunoflu was invented, they screamed even louder. That is when the "pure lifers" started. The ones who kept themselves in the equivalent of "bubbles" to avoid them, and their children, ever catching the immunoflu. A large number of them went to a planet to settle in and live. The planet was, if not for the terraformed domes, uninhabitable.

Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Doctor: Human, you need to take it easy. Rest. Don't do anything strenuous for the next week.

Human: Alright, I'll stay at home and watch the kids.

Doctor: From what I know of human young, that is strenuous. -- Escla

[AN: Pffffft...]

The Humans had a saying for everything. Some have been adjusted slightly to be more inclusive, but the relevant one in this time and space was, No being is an island. Perhaps, with an added dash of, It takes a

Challenge #02679-G122: Wonder No More

Have you ever walk past someone and wonder what is going on inside their head -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link to a Rickroll has been expunged. Thanks Nonny. Be proud. You got me.]

Every now and again, some species, somewhere, thinks it would be cool to be telepathic. The Melil, natural telepaths, do attempt to stop others from doing this to themselves because it really, really isn't a good idea.

Those without natural telepathy have no reason to filter their random thoughts.

Challenge #02678-G121: The Terrors of Deathworlds

A researcher had been extremely curious and wanted to know why humans were, well, the way they were. They poured over notes, histories, field reports, everything they could get their hands on. The humans that volunteered for experiments were always told "You can call it quits at any time." And, after a while, the humans always let him know when they'd had enough. To which he'd thank them, pay them and let them know his immense gratitude for their hard work, and

Challenge #02677-G120: A Mind of Their Own

The war rages, bodies fell left and right, were they man or monster? They do not know, for the the line that separated them blurred centuries ago. -- Anon Guest

Someone, somewhere, is re-inventing the Enlisted Man again. When will they learn, huh? -- Elsyn Flaard comedy routine.

Some creatures, the unethical gengineers argue, are made for battle. With the right tweaks, they could become the most formidable fighting force in Alliance space. Then, they could make the majority decisions, and on

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A 2270-post collection

Challenge #02694-G137: A Deserved Education

Challenge #02693-G136: Fighting True Evil

Challenge #02691-G134: Harmless Unless...

Challenge #02690-G133: Labor of Love

Challenge #02688-G131: Big and Loud

Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of-- Oh Wait

Challenge #02686-G129: Small Messy Disruptive Creatures

Challenge #02685-G128: Little, Yellow, Different

Challenge #02684-G127: Winner Winner?

Challenge #02682-G125: Safe As...

Challenge #02681-G124: Centuries of Facepalming

Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Challenge #02679-G122: Wonder No More

Challenge #02678-G121: The Terrors of Deathworlds

Challenge #02677-G120: A Mind of Their Own