Realm of the InterNutter

Challenge #01908-E084: Pearls and Male Chauvinist...

Reading Sir Terry Prachett's works and having it just passed of as 'light reading' at University. -- Anon Guest

She opened the book to read it and relax while she had her lunch and a coffee. Unfortunately, it was also dudebro o'clock, and a man-child had to come and comment on her material.

"You're reading that? I thought you were intelligent..."

Sue put the book by Sir Pterry down and glared at him. She had never met this man before, didn't know his name, and would be glad to never know that this man-child existed. "Have we met?"

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Prompts remaining: 10 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

I'm thinking of cheating

I've got 1K to go on re-finishing Rael. Now, I could be a sensible little Nutter and space that last one thousand over two days.

OR...

I could write it all today and have two days "off".

You know what I'm going to do today, don't you. Yep. I'm going to spree the heck out of my novel writing so I can have a four-day weekend of nothing but the stuff I enjoy. Whee!

I might pay for it later, but... there's

Challenge #01907-E083: Pitcher Plant

Why do children rush toward bright colours and loud noises? Because it looks like fun. -- Anon Guest

"I turned around for just a second, and she was gone. Off like a shot. I couldn't catch her. I didn't see which way she went. She just... she just went."

It was the same complaint all over Lower Tadfield Young teens and children above toddler age were going missing. Even the people running the funfair were complaining. But there was something... odd... about

Glacial is an insult

To the tune of The Internet is for Porn from Avenue Q:

The internet is so slow
The internet is so slow
Why can't I just make it go?
It's slow.
Slow.
Slow.

Things suck at the moment. They suck so bad that I'm actively thinking about hanging out at a mall with wifi and doing a portion of my work there.

It's that awful.

But I'm being patient for now. I'm almost positive that it's the kids' internet usage that spikes

Challenge #01906-E082: What Trickles Down

Medieval Jesters and modern clowns can do what others can't. Mock the mighty, poke fun at sacred cows, and give people a hug without facing an assault charge. it's called Clown's Privilege and should be treated as a gift. We allow the bizarre to touch us in so many ways -- Anon Guest

Three things to do. (1) Get up there, (2) Tell the unvarnished truth, and (3) Make it so funny that the Grand Dictator doesn't decide to execute you.

No

Slowed Right Down

The internet is especially shit, this morning, and for a change, neither I nor my beloved little darlings are at all responsible. No, dear readers, it is none other than my Beloved and their laptop.

If this continues for more than a couple of days, I get to taunt them.

[cue evil chuckle]

The end of the month and Erastide are coming up. Which means that real soon now, we could have us some NATIONAL BROADBAND! Just in time for the US

Challenge #01905-E081: Who, Me?

Excuses both lame and creative. -- Knitnan

Of all the forces of creativity, imagination, and progenitation available, nothing in the known universe is more powerful and simultaneously more inept than a small child who has been caught out, and is desperately digging to get themselves out of the hole they are already in.

"Uhm," said Kae. Elbow-deep in the cookie jar. There was no denying that her hand was in there, and there could be some debate that she was, indeed, taking

Fun 'n' PLNs

We're going to go see A Wrinkle in Time, today. This afternoon, to be precise.

Unlike yesterday, when I was surprised by a trip to go see Pacific Rim and the results left my story unposted until the afternoon. Sorry about that. I was only planning to binge some stuff I'd left unwatched for a good while.

So today, I have a time window to get everything decent done. And of course I'm procrastinating. Yay.

But I'll get on with it now.

Challenge #01904-E080: That'll Buff Out

We all do it, either repair something broken with improvised stuff (paperclips are highly favoured), or hit it or kick it. -- Anon Guest

Rael opened up the exterior panel. And nearly had the urge to purge his internal organs. This was a temporary patch job that was actually a flock of temporary patch jobs. A mountain of kludges. Paperclips, ductape, and random bits of fabric, string, and parts that never should have come into conjunction were all there. He recognised desperate

Screw That for a Gag

I have had duck tape on my feet for two frelling weeks because warts, and I just took it off to discover that it's either:

a) Pure Hokum
b) Only for warts on other areas

I looked up guaranteed wart cures and the duck tape was the only one to turn up in multiple areas. And the science seemed sound. Suffocate the skin in a specific area like -say- a bandaid left on too long, and the skin blisters and sloughs off

Challenge #01903-E079: Forced Adaptation

If you don’t want someone to push a button, do NOT label it *‘Do Not Push’ * and whatever you do, do NOT make it big or red. -- TheDragonsFlame

It is rare, indeed, that the introduction of a species causes a revolution in the way that the Galactic Alliance runs its standards and practices. Humans were one of the few who did that in large strides. For centuries or longer, many other species adapted to the standards, rather than forcing change

Cyclone Season... in Autumn?

Here's how it should work: Summer heats up the air and the sea acts like a big coolant on that noise. Which generates cyclones. Which turn into Summer Floods.

Here's how it is happening: The oceans are warming up (el Niño) and the cooler air of autumn is breeding cyclones. Which cause floods. In autumn.

The last time this happened, I was just a baby.

1974 - forty-four years ago. Criminally close to half a gorram century.

That's a long-arse time between

Challenge #01902-E078: They Who Laugh Last

"I'm hungry !" / "Hi Hungry, I'm dad !"

"A man walks into a bar and says 'Ouch'."

"Why is a raven like a writing desk ? Because there is a 'b' in both and an 'n' in neither."

Those 3 English examples show perfectly why a "universal translator" is something impossible. You CAN translate it, but it will be incomprehensible.

Not convinced ? Here's a French example with a literal translation :

Que dit une maman baleine a son enfant qui fait trop de bruit ?

Cétacé ! (C'est

Now What?

Mayhem's home sick, all my meal plans went... "okay". As in, the food got et, so that was good.

I let Chaos fly the deep fryer, under supervision of course. And when I was certain she could handle it... my dear sweet darling child undercooked everything. Sigh.

Trotted out the tired old, "You didn't have time to do it properly, but you have time to do it again?" routine and finished the cooking in regulated bursts. Which seemed to work for Miss

Challenge #01901-E077: Ordering the New World

The bookkeeper of a new evil organisation to their superior:

I'm sorry but no, a "giant robot of doom with lasers that go pew pew" is not feasible. Because not only it sounds silly, but we lack the funding. And no, I won't allow any medium or high destruction plan as long as you didn't find a way to increase our income. If you want to blow things up, I'll only allow dynamite. And we can't pay more than 5 minions at

Menu

Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01908-E084: Pearls and Male Chauvinist...

I'm thinking of cheating

Challenge #01907-E083: Pitcher Plant

Glacial is an insult

Challenge #01906-E082: What Trickles Down

Slowed Right Down

Challenge #01905-E081: Who, Me?

Fun 'n' PLNs

Challenge #01904-E080: That'll Buff Out

Screw That for a Gag

Challenge #01903-E079: Forced Adaptation

Cyclone Season... in Autumn?

Challenge #01902-E078: They Who Laugh Last

Now What?

Challenge #01901-E077: Ordering the New World