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real life

A 3609-post collection

::static noise::

Beloved is home and sleeping it off. I wish I could be that lucky or that able to follow suit.

The best option I have is caffeine. Which sort of works okay, I guess. But ceases working long about 5PM. But I should be done with the important stuff by then and honestly - who cares that my sleep cycle is broken and needs new tyres?

Nobody.

Sleep aids have to be herbal, dear readers. My biology is such that if I actually took a real sleep drug, I would die in the night from not breathing in. Fun shit.

True story. Last time I was in hospital, the nurses kept waking me up every half hour to ten minutes to ask if I wanted a sleeping pill. After THREE FUCKING DAYS of this, I got tired of their shit.

Them: [long about 2AM, waking me up for the billionth time that night] Are you sure you don't want a sleeping pill.
Me: [tired, and fucking tired of this shit] Tell you what. I'll take the damn pill, as long as you promise to check on me every ten minutes to make sure I'm still breathing. We cool?
Them: [gets this fucking Look on their face that was an open book with large print and its contents were "OH SHIT".] Oh. Okay. We won't bother you again.

And they didn't. There may or may not have a note in my permanent record, now, that's like Do not give this bizarre freakazoid any sedatives, they might fucking DIE. But I sure hope so.

Because explaining my hereditary and sincerely weird body chemistry to ANOTHER set of doctors used to be a regular pain in my butt. Someday, they may test my genes. It's gonna be interesting.

But I digress. I'm here to write stories and fight somnalism.

FGSFDS

So I irrevocably woke at 1AM today.

It's going to be nasty.

I need to do my monetary fetch quest for cash before I'm too tired to drive. It's cleaning day. I have a sore throat. I have asthma because too many sugary treats are just lying around in the open and I have the self control of a hyperactive toddler.

I need to work on that.

BUT.

Today IS the day that I make an actual conscious effort to use the

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I can DO this

Broke Keto pretty darn hard, yesterday. Feeling bloated and retaining water today. My fingers are awkward sausages and I only JUST got over yesterday's carb coma.

My focus ability is going out of the window.

BUT...

I have an Instant to write, Blasts from my Past to schedule, and MeMum to visit. Mayhem has already volunteered to "guard the house" - translated, stay at home and play games all day.

Chaos, however, is glad to come along for adventures, so MeMum gets

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::Deep Breath:: Aaaahhh...

Posted all the Patreon stuff at record lateness. Posted the latest chapter of Babes in the Wood. Also figured out that I used the wrong email to send my imagined items of to those marvellous McElroys, and sent them all off to the correct email with minimal edits.

Loyal Patrons have already received the unedited version at no extra cost. I honestly don't know if concocting diabolical artifacts for a podcast I like counts as fanfiction. And since it's a completed work.

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Bad start

I got up before my alarm. Yay. I posted the latest installment of Babes in the Woods. Yay.

I have also procrastinated for three solid hours. Boo.

On the plus side, I don't have a huge amount of work to do today, IF I don't have to haul Mayhem across country to Banyo. Just fetching him in the afternoon is fine? But going there and back twice just about wrecks me.

I need coffee.

The worst thing about my sleep issues is:

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PLNs and stuff

Today, Mayhem is going to get his firkin phone fixed. At midday. Which means that my temporally-challenged arse has to keep an eye on the passing hours.

Not easy when I'm in Holiday Mode.

Holiday mode has me thinking things like, "Hey, I can nap between ten and sometime this afternoon!" and does that. Or I go, "I can watch videos all firkin day," and do that.

Hell, I woke up at 2AM [Beloved's fault, they stayed up until the wee small,

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Whoops

Today has been a clusterfuck.

Got Mayhem ready for his make-up day of traineeship just fine. Yay. Then got informed LATE that I would be the one taking him in. Which meant rousing Chaos because you don't leave anyone at home who's under fourteen because law.

Which also meant a two hour round trip because traffic jam and extra exhaustion on my part because I just don't travel well.

Whoop. Whoop.

That plus my digestive system getting rid of the extra carbs

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Hocus Pocus

I need to focus.

Once again, my scattershot brain is not staying on task. It wants to do all the fun things, like reading fanfic, writing fanfic, and tooling around on Tumblr for more Shiny Elf Pics.

BUT...

There's the post-Erastide cleanup to do, and I gotta do a bank run before time gets away from me. Again.

Today for realsies, I am doing the Beta Prep for Rael and when it's done, I shall put out a General Call. Desperately Seeking

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How was your Easter?

I ate a bunch of chocolate, had some of that garlic bread that was calling me, finished Bingeing I, Zombie and fucking passed out for the rest of the day.

Carb coma. Happened to both my Beloved and I. And no, my diabetic SO did not have a dangerous crash, thanks for not panicking. No, we just slept off all of that sugar and felt like shit for our conscious moments.

Not doing that again in a hurry.

That was a no-protein

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Gottalottachoklit?

Well... I don't really know. Not for sure. Beloved has been plying the house with all sorts of carb-loaded treats for the holiday, so my Monday will likely be spent on a fast. Or mopping up the sad remains of whatever carbs happen to be left over. I haven't made up my mind, yet.

But, given that I have that inflammation stiffness in my throat that usually means a saline dose on Max... I'm putting my money on 'fast'. Asthma is a

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::William Tell at 15RPM::

I have zero plans beyond my Instant Fiction, today. And powering through as much I, Zombie as I can because if we spend too much time on it, it'll cost us money for the re-rental of the service.

Stan is only good for one thing: I, Zombie. The rest of it sucks and it isn't worth the fees and charges.

Other than that, I have no news. Health is fine, despite the heinous amounts of shop-bought carbohydrates over the last couple of

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::Opening notes of William Tell::

Today is pretty much going to be absorbed, amoeba-like, by a three-hour round trip to Captain S for fish on Friday.

Which means that I get as much of my work done now as I can, and nap on the ride there. Fun.

And today's exercise is: Not well-actually-ing Capt S when she inevitably trots out some junk science she got from "all these doctors" on some scam she's bought into, this week.

It's pointless arguing with her. She's going to stay

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Sigh

Everything is slowed the heck down, and I can't use my phone as a hotspot forever. Data payments.

So now I have to put up with this horseshit and deal.

But the good news is that I'm taking a me-day. After I'm done with today's instant, I am parking myself in front of the TV, bingeing on all the stuff I've wanted to catch up on, and devoting my time to whatever the fuck I wanna do.

Because the school holidays have

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I'm thinking of cheating

I've got 1K to go on re-finishing Rael. Now, I could be a sensible little Nutter and space that last one thousand over two days.

OR...

I could write it all today and have two days "off".

You know what I'm going to do today, don't you. Yep. I'm going to spree the heck out of my novel writing so I can have a four-day weekend of nothing but the stuff I enjoy. Whee!

I might pay for it later, but... there's

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Glacial is an insult

To the tune of The Internet is for Porn from Avenue Q:

The internet is so slow
The internet is so slow
Why can't I just make it go?
It's slow.
Slow.
Slow.

Things suck at the moment. They suck so bad that I'm actively thinking about hanging out at a mall with wifi and doing a portion of my work there.

It's that awful.

But I'm being patient for now. I'm almost positive that it's the kids' internet usage that spikes

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