I Need Hugs

A 8-post collection

I need five cubic meters of cotton wool...

...and a big burly bloke named Bruce to take care of me while I'm down.

Today's embuggerance is sponsored by the Internet, a finished novel, asthma, heavy anxiety, and my general disability to cope with multiple crises at once.

  • I have finished writing B'Nar
  • Which may be a contributing factor in today's anxiety spike
  • I'm having a Clayton's Asthma Attack
  • Which may also contribute to said anxiety spike
  • The internet connection to the outside world is fucking DEAD
  • Which definitely contributes to the anxiety
  • Because phone data co$$$$t$
  • Mayhem's school doesn't like how sick Mayhem's been, lately
  • Which paints me into a corner, because despite sick notes etc, they're not letting him take any more days off
  • Which means I have to truck him over there regardless of health
  • Which means I am a bad parental, no matter what I do
  • The FUCK?!

At least I can deal with the asthma by giving myself a saline dose on Max. The rest of it is more or less out of my control. I can't really stop panicking about B'Nar until my subconscious recognises that everything's DONE and it's now down to the peeps who are actually going to get back to me about things.

I can't really panic about the internet budget because I'm doing my level best out here to do what I can as quick and as best as I can. Tremula and pins and needles in my fingers and impaired visual acuity because of the nebuliser mask are all roadblocks on my past and...


I'm doing my best. It feels like running a damned marathon.

I just need someone to take over whilst I'm being frail, over here.

Done! Hugs Plz

I have just accomplished all the things that have terrified me for a firkin month.

  • Appointment for jabs scheduled
  • Appointment for car service scheduled
  • New mower person contacted

So I am most definitely taking a majority of a day so I can recover from all the anxiety this is causing. Not to mention that this potential agent is literally my last chance according to the people I sent US$400 for the list.

Read more »


I'm tired and I can't sleep, so I'm blogging.

I have stuff to do and I'm playing that old game: Am I really tired, or is this depression/asthma/some virus?

Do I want coffee, or do I need coffee? Does this make me an addict? Am I overthinking things again?

Can I summon the mental fortitude to summarise my novel and fix the markdown formatting while I'm at it?

If I try to nap now, will I even be able to?

Read more »


Things are going glacial. I have hit a wall.

This wall is all about me versus the edition of Adapting I'm using to create the two-page-max summary of a 120K-word novel. Which sucks ARSE.

The sooner I get to not doing summaries, the happier I shall be. I much prefer elevator pitches. I can do that. Watch:

  • Adapting: Sufficiently advanced technology versus sufficiently mysterious magic.
  • Beauties and the Beastly: British werewolves in paradise.
  • Rael: Technology finds worth as a person.
  • Clockwork Souls:
Read more »

Fuck My Life

I had an unusual case of the Faerie Curse, yesterday. Here's how it went down:

  • Usual barking my little darlings into order with few hitches.
  • Go to ATM for moolah
  • Card reads as expired
  • Check card. Due to expire in 2020
  • Re-run ATM looking for a balance
  • Still expired
  • Watch another citizen use the ATM without a hitch
  • Ask incoming bank employee if they can possibly help. They can't.
  • Curse
  • Go to a different brand ATM that still serves to see if
Read more »


Turns out that a shockingly large number of my seed beads don't fit on a standard pin. This is something of a major flaw in beads, generally. If they don't fit onto the findings - what the fuck are you supposed to do?

It would cost me more to send them back, so my plan is - use what I can and get beads from a different mob when I run out of useful ones.

Also - find a profitable use for

Read more »

Summer's back

Beautiful sunny day plus sweltering humidity equals I really should have gone on my walk nearer to dawn.


I'm sweating up a storm, my hair is a swamp, and today's walk reduced my personal batteries to the red zone.

All I can focus on is what I need and what I currently can't afford because no spare money.

I need orthopaedic sandals made for plantar fasciatus, because my feet are getting beyond swampy, too. Also I need footwear just to be

Read more »