Instant Story

Challenge #02907-G350: You're Worth Fighting For

Human A: "If you try to kill yourself, I will fight you."

Human B: "...I would not win that fight."

(Note: This is part of a conversation that I actually had with my suicidally depressed partner. And yes, if I thought he was going for it, I would totally fight him.) -- Anon Guest

This, alarmingly, was a common conversation between the two Ship's Humans of the Fanciful Deal. Human Zae had issues that manifested as periodic bouts of severe depression. Their argument usually cycled around to "if you kill you, I'll kill you first," but this time, there was a note in Zae's voice that caused Human Avi to approach it from another angle.

"That's cool," said Human Avi. "I'm prepared to die to defend your life."

"Dude," said Zae. "That is simultaneously the stupidest and the sweetest thing you have ever said."

"You're worth it." Avi elbowed Zae in a companionable Human motion similar to combat. Typical of Humans. "I'd do just about any stupid shit to help you stick around with me."

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Challenge #02906-G349: Warmed in the Weave

The human was both engineer and bodyguard aboard a ship of havenworlders. In their down time, they enjoyed both knitting and crocheting. They had an old blanket that they'd kept from when they were a child and, when things went bad, it comforted them after the event had passed and the enemies were defeated. A way to calm themselves. Having an idea, they began to make small, soft, blankets, one for each of their havenworlder crewmates. After all, why should they be

Challenge #02905-G348: Fresh Out of the (Brain) Pan

A gingerbread man lives in a gingerbread house. Is the house is made of flesh, or Is he made of house? He screams for he does not know. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I do recall a comic on this theme, so it is hard to not riff on that. No, it's not the one you referenced.]

Sugar, spice, everything nice, a modicum of flour. All the things that make a treat. Hands moulded them into shapes. Imagination gave them life. Well. Some

Challenge #02904-G347: Ancient Terran Humour

trust me -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link leads to a black page with a purple button that also reads TRUST ME. If you click it, you get a page full of the Pokemon Ditto dancing to The Conga. You will definitely get fired if you're caught viewing this in the office]

This was a vault made by Humans. The way to get through varying doors was to solve puzzles involving bits of Human culture that -according to the Humans who made it-

Challenge #02903-G346: Don't Do It

Five Times Human Pib got Stuck and Needed to be Rescued, and One Time Human Pib did the Rescuing. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Mandatory callback link Which is but one tale among many.]

Fact: The Humans aboard the Jaunty Merchant had reproduced. This was not a great impact on the functioning of the ship as a whole until their spawn, a Human named Pib, learned to move around independently. Human Pib, in short succession, learned problem-solving skills and fast became a problem

Challenge #02902-G345: Escape By Mercy

They had nothing to give, no funds what so ever. With them was their youngest sibling, unable to move due to the injuries so severe that even the best medicine around could not fix it. Their only hope were the B'Nari. The sibling wept, feeling terrible because their beloved family was going through so much for them since the accident. But kept being assured that it was the least they could do since the injuries which caused the complete paralysis of the

Challenge #02901-G344: Vocal Gymnastics

The human spoke in a half-whisper as they were going through the jungle trying to skirt the edges of a hostile camp. Normally, they'd be 'kick backside and take names' but they were carrying a wounded havenworlder with them and could not risk their friend. Damnit, if only the life pod's transmitters had worked! No use for it, they knew where the rescue ship would be, but the hostiles were not going to make it easy.

Their friend then noticed the voice

Challenge #02900-G343: The Benevolence Gene

On Earth, in the 20th and 21st century, they had the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. The winner won a certain amount that was paid in weekly payments for the rest of the person's life as well as an advance of a lump sum. This continued even after the Shattering. In addition to fairly inexpensive products, the PCH's contest continued. And once again, a new winner was chosen. Though it sometimes took a little bit to find the winner when people traveled to

Challenge #02899-G342: The Evidence Speaks For Itself

Shortly after their receive a shipment of stolen parrots, alien smugglers learn that pet parrots tend to repeat some of the most common phrases they have heard the hard way. There are some things that should never be heard, and can never be unheard. -- Anon Guest

"Captain Fresk is going to panic," said a voice. It sounded a lot like crewmate Jori, but it came, seemingly, from the cage of brightly-coloured exotic Deathworlder avian that they had successfully stolen from Brightwing

Challenge #02898-G341: And Not a Bite to Eat

On a planet where eating meat was so illegal that even replicated meat grown in nutrient vats can mean prison time, the deathworlder's ship landed heavily. Fortunately, they got the whole ship down and hadn't needed a life pod, but repairs were going to take months. However, hearing the strict law against eating meat on this planet was going to be a problem. While meat replacements worked for a small amount of time, they needed actual meat to survive or they would,

Challenge #02898-G341: A Steep Ask

“Although I don’t use many of my fighting skills anymore I do use some,” the human chuckled. “Some?” My questions was almost immediately answered as the human disappeared right in front of me and appeared behind me. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I have been reminded of Human Twii but this could be quite a number of Humans in my pet universe. I might think up a new one. Let's see]

Legends of Humans reach the places that Humans have not yet

Challenge #02897-G340: Mistakes Were Made

The first thing they noticed was the running, stumbling humans, exiting a building. The second thing they noticed was that the humans that weren't too busy choking and gasping were shouting "put on your livesuits!" and "we need particle masks!"

Once the fire had been extinguished and the building was airing out, the story of What Happened This Time was told.

It was a story involving Carolina Reapers and a malfunctioning kitchen fan. Every human involved had the same thing to say

Challenge #02896-G339: Thanks For All the Fish

When Humans made first contact with life outside their solar system a new trend of people hungry for adventure and exploration appeared, who yearned for the vast unknown that lay before them. And they weren't the only species on earth who wanted a slice of that action...
But would the problems their kind had since the beginning hamper them from continuing into the future?
Could Werewolves travel beyond there moon without getting into a 'Hairy' situation? (Or any other moon for that

Challenge #02895-G338: Kind'a Saw it Coming

This is a new feeling, pride in someone else. Unfortunately, it is overshadowed by all this unyielding rage! -- Vegeta

Honestly, it never fails. Spend the better part of a lifetime building up an empire of power only to witness some snot-nosed kid hero gather up a band of five total snot-nosed kid heroes and thereby overthrow you in a heroic example of the power of friendship. The Dark Lord Mephis had attempted to circumvent all of this by seducing every possible

Challenge #02894-G337: Humane Accommodations

They were a killer. From the time they were young, they got into fights. It was almost daily. The first kill came when they were only 12, they couldn't stand bullies and the first one they killed was one of their parents. Why? The parent was cruel and often struck them and their younger siblings. From there, as they grew older, it was always the same. Someone would be a bully, someone would become cruel. They'd be warned, only once. Then out

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Challenge #02907-G350: You're Worth Fighting For

Challenge #02906-G349: Warmed in the Weave

Challenge #02905-G348: Fresh Out of the (Brain) Pan

Challenge #02904-G347: Ancient Terran Humour

Challenge #02903-G346: Don't Do It

Challenge #02902-G345: Escape By Mercy

Challenge #02901-G344: Vocal Gymnastics

Challenge #02900-G343: The Benevolence Gene

Challenge #02899-G342: The Evidence Speaks For Itself

Challenge #02898-G341: And Not a Bite to Eat

Challenge #02898-G341: A Steep Ask

Challenge #02897-G340: Mistakes Were Made

Challenge #02895-G338: Kind'a Saw it Coming

Challenge #02894-G337: Humane Accommodations