Dear Diary

A 3617-post collection

It's Lurgi

It seems like everything hit me at once, and my semi-annual lung trouble decided that this was a fine time to team up with Keto Flu and whatever was going around and make beautiful mucous together.

Translated: I have a bacterial infection in my bronchii.

So I've made an appointment to see a doctor today about getting some antibiotics to make that fuck off. Meanwhile, Beloved and I are making plans to get all the calories we need because our current stomach capacity is not up to the task of 1600+ kcal in two or less sittings.

This is why "fat bombs" exist.

And speaking of fat bombs... I put extra cream into my morning smoothie, yesterday. And an extra-large smoothie, too, because Beloved wanted some. And since the raspberries add too many carbs, I switched to pure organic cocoa powder. And four home-grown mint leaves. I also decided to use all of my cream, including the chunky bits.

And I accidentally made chocolate butter.

Beloved and I drained off the buttermilk and drank that, and turned our accidental chocolate butter into deliberate chocolate fat bombs with extra MCT.

They seem to be working a charm for the Keto Flu, but my malady has some hated extras that I wish were optional. Horking up green things is never my favourite activity.

Which means I have to mention the Keto and the good things it did for me before my immune system decided to raise its middle finger in my general direction. Which means I might get lectures from all the other doctors I see from then on. Ah well. It just sets up a good reason to do a cholesterol check after yule.

Apparently, I'm genetically at risk for higher cholesterol, as is MeMum (who doesn't want to do Keto because lipid theory1) so this will be the acid test of the diet. By the time January rolls around, I'll have been on Keto long enough for it to have an effect, one way or another, on my arteries.

Which means I will be another data point in the millions of data points that show that the lipid theory is wrong. Yes, I am that confident about it. And if it turns out that I am wrong, I will state so publicly. On as many forums as I can manage.

I'm not betting money because our economic fluidity is rather... debatable at the moment. We have Yule to pay for, books to pay for, and other things to arrange.

And, come January, I shall begin bothering agents once more with Kung Fu Zombies, a heart-warming tale of a boy and his slipping grip on reality.

So much to do. With any luck, I'll have the energy to do it, too.

  1. AKA the Lipid Hypothesis which was invented when a scientist fed cholesterol to rabbits (who aren't equipped to handle cholesterol at all BTW) and noted the buildup in their arteries. He then erroneously assumed that the same thing happened in humans. Then a bloke named Ancel Keys cherry-picked his data in the 1951 "Seven Countries Study" so that he could start off an entire chain of alarmists trying to save us from ourselves. Dieticians and doctors everywhere have been blatantly ignoring the mountain of studies that prove the lipid theory incorrect ever since.

MCT and how it's saved me

You all know how the Keto Flu has been kicking my butt of late. I'm really knocked about because I had a lot of fat stored in random places in by sad old body1.

And with loss of fat cells comes a loss of water weight (because stored fats also lead to water retention) which means peeing a lot, which also means loss of salt.

Which also means my immune system is knocked a bit off-kilter. Which is probably how my

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Heavy and Light Keto and how it kicks your butt

Beloved and I are doing heavy Keto, which means that we try to take a maximum of twenty grams of carbs per day.

Light Keto, on the other hand, allows you a maximum of fifty grams of carbs and is a lot easier on the body. You can have more ersatz rice or potato mash, for instance, by doing strange things to cauliflower. You can even have really small doses of actual rice or potato.

People doing Light Keto, for instance, never

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Health check

Saturday is Stabbin' Day for me. When I stick a needle in my finger and do the blood-on-a-stick tests to see how well I'm doing.

Ketone level: 1.9 [Ketonic normal is between 0.5 and 5]
Blood Sugar: 4.5 [Human normal is between 4 and 6]

I may have picked up Lurgi1 from Wet'n'Wild, or from dear little Mayhem... or it may be Keto flu. But whatever it is, I'm feeling a little tiny bit rotten this morning.

It

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Saggy, floppy progress

It is week three on Ketogenics and the fat is melting off of me. And, like all weight loss, it's happening head-downwards.

I have skin hanging off me in deceptive lumps - translated, that means my spare tyres are only visible when I'm upright.

And the really good news is that the melting has gone down to butt level. Once that's finished draining, maybe my thighs will shrink down to a more acceptable minimum.

Both Beloved and I are having real trouble

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Another big day

School's ending, so of course the party atmosphere skyrockets. Yesterday, it was graduation. Today, it's a trip to Wet and Wild water park for fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

And since I'm whiter than creamed rice... that means loads of sunblock.

I've cheated a little and got a long-sleeved Rashi shirt. Which means I only have to worry about my hands, face, and pasty white legs. We did the same for Miss Chaos. And since I have a roll-on,

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Small starts

Lots of people who use Ketogenics don't often talk about Ketogenics. Possibly, this is due to the huge amounts of opposition directly related to having everything they know being suddenly wrong.

It's more than a shock to realise that everything you thought was good is actually evil. And it does take a special mind to turn everything upside down.

Attempting to convert people over to the LCHF side doesn't have to be a fight to the death. I found a Keto-recipe app

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A week's difference.

For fairness of data, I'm using three Tuesdays for comparison. This Tuesday, last Tuesday (Nov 29) and the Tuesday before that (Nov 22). And I have the help of my blog entry for the day to gauge my overall mood. With a side helping of contributing factors.

Tuesday, November 22nd:

Weight: 89 kilograms
Diet: Lo Fat Hi Carb
Mood: Pissed off and looking forward to an apocalypse.
Contributing factor: The Muppet just became the alleged leader of the free world.

Tuesday, November

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The strangeness of me

I've always known I'm not 'normal', and protest much that there's no such thing. My creativity and whims of creating, aka my Muse, takes me to strange places, sometimes.

My stories, fanfic and professional, are... odd. Just as I am odd.

As a kid, I was "weird". According to the professionals at the time, I was "brilliant but disorganised" and needed something to keep my creativity in one place. Not that that worked very well.

I did not have a wide social

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Waiting for equilibrium

The diet's going fine, before you get worried. Going out and eating at the same time is a pain in the arse because there's carbs freaking everywhere. Every single take-out deal has chips and if they don't have chips, then it's noodles or rice.

Carbs, carbs, everywhere, and hardly a scrap to eat.

Beloved recorded an audio of themself trying to get deconstructed burgers for the family, this Friday gone. They had to explain 'no buns' four times. They just didn't understand.

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Converting the masses

Everyone who's figured out that modern medicine is trying to kill us for profit has had zero problems whatsoever flipping to Ketogenics, and flipping their nearest medic the bird. It's the people who believe in doctors like they believe in The Powers That Be1, who are all over the others with objections of their own.

  • "But my doctor says..."
  • "You need carbs (for brain function/to live)."
  • "That can't be good for your cholesterol..."
  • "But [CARB-LOADED THING] is healthy."
  • "But I
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Shitstirring for humanity

Vegans struck me as a little peculiar. Okay. You don't want to eat anything related to animal exploitation? Good for you. Just... please don't try to make me change my ways and we're aces.

Alas, there's a certain section of people (coughcoughivorytowergranolasetcoughcough) that claim that honey is bee slavery.

This just gets a big fat WAT from me because they continue eating fruits and vegetables that use bee labour regardless.

Like... I've tried to do some research on this and... unless you're

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Easing up

Beloved informed me on our morning walk that we had been hitting the Ketogenic diet hard. It's why I've been having difficulties the way I have been.

So we're easing up. We're no longer fasting for 16 hours. We're going back to 12 hours and allowing some fruity sugars in as well as the carbs that come in the veggies.

Both Beloved and I have been waking up earlier and I forwarded the idea that it would be an ideal time to

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The down side

Every diet has a down side. Slowly rationing fruit to small amounts so I get just the right kind of carbs in the correct amount is just one of them.

And I've discovered what fellow dieters are calling the "Keto flu". As the body gets used to not having carbs around, it goes into carb panic and starts trying to conserve energy. The result is a listlessness and a lack of energy that gets some people swarming back to carbs.

But what

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Proof in the absence of pudding

This is my fourth day of doing the Ketogenic Diet and I have some fantastic news: I now weigh 87.4 kilos. My previous lowest record, recorded in 2012, was 87.7 kilos.

In four days, I have gone to my lowest recorded weight.

I feel energetic and happy and Beloved and I have gone on our 15-minute walk and not felt drained or strained as a direct result.

Hell, I even put on a load of washing before I was desperate

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