InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12162 posts

Christmas eve!

We've done all our shopping (I hope!) and got all our things for the glorious morrow.

And as an extra bonus, this Yule happens on a weekend, so I don't need to worry about my novel's word count. And I really don't need to worry about an Instant, either, since it's my day off.

And I especially don't need to worry about the gap between the Instant count and the days of the year... because of all the double prompts I've been getting.

Apart from all the cooking looming over our heads... this is looking to be a stress-reduced yuletide for the family, this year.

We're going to be making some delicious lo-carb treats, including cheesecake-in-a-cup (I will be testing the recipe in my own vessel before committing to the fancy ones we got for presentation), chocolate bombs, and possibly many others. I know not what my Beloved has planned, but it's going to use a lot of eggs.

It's a feast day, tomorrow. Mainly because there's no stopping the sugary treats on Christmas day. I can at least stick to the salads and try to keep away from all the carbohydrate and starchy abundance that will doubtless be present. The kids, I know, will dive into that noise wholesale.

My weight is staying stable, but my fat deposits are not. Which means that I'm losing fat and gaining muscle. It sure as hell doesn't look like it at the moment. My floppy bits are floppier than ever and I feel like The Beast That Scares Horses despite new underthings that at least wrangle parts of me into the correct area code. I expect some major weight fluctuations as a direct result of Yule.

I reduced the mint population in my garden by about 90% and made WAY too much mint sauce. The recipe I found did not multiply well and, if I do it again (likely) I will use way less water than I did this time around. And because (a) too much water, and (b) higher-quality white vinegar, the resultant mint sauce is cloudy and murky and not at all like the commercial stuff.

But it is sugar-free and firkin delicious. If anyone wants to try any.

Come on. We have WAY too much of it now.

Challenge #01454-C359: Wild Terra

The Irwin character and their adventures on Earth -- Anon Guest

[AN: once again, pre-yule shopping took me away from doing this]

"Now in most areas of human habitation, the goal is to cover as much of the body as possible. But here--" images of Surfer's Paradise, "--the rules are turned upside-down. Unless you're one of these blokes," images of surfers in their full-body surf suits. "Their vibrant colours tell the sharks that live in the water that they're not good to

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Quietly dying

The good news is: LCHF isn't killing me. The bad news is that dehydration got in the way first.

Not helped by the Lurgi and the infection it brought along for the ride.

When you're doing Keto, or LCHF, one of the big problems is getting enough liquids into you. The old sugary stuff could go down quick, for sure, but as you may recall, sugars are off the menu.

I don't know why so much liquid is needed... Maybe it's because

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Challenge #01453-C358: The Urban Human

An alien naturalist, performing a David Attenborough-style documentary on Earth.

Potential sequel: As above, but replace "David Attenborough" with "Steve Irwin". -- Shkspr1048

[AN: Sorry I'm so late, dear readers. Yulemas shopping spree]

"And this... is the average human population density of the planet Terra." The image showed the interior of a shopping mall on a slow hour. Humans populous enough to get in each others' way if they were determined to do so, but not enough to be in each others'

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Very slightly annoyed

Following yesterday's rant about Modern Medicine and how it likes patients being sick, I got a little bit more information about how things went.

The only alternatives available in the early 70's were (a) powdered formula that was probably mostly sugars or the wrong kinds of fats, and (b) canned milk. Neither of these did me any good. And, as far as I'm aware, the knowledge about the benefits of goat's milk came by random happenstance.

One article in the Lancet can

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Challenge #01452-C357: Cute and Bombproof

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/154304792219/jumperjohn-you-know-that-one-post-about-humans

"You know that one post about humans being really durable compared to aliens and that one about humans being really cute to aliens?

What if they were both true at the same time. Like the aliens decide to take their human on a landing mission because they get so excited and it’s so cute but then a storm hits and they crash. And the aliens are all freaking out because they can’t be

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Murderous Modern Medical Science

Yesterday, I promised you, my dear reader, that I would tell the sordid story of how modern medicine nearly snuffed my talent out in the cradle. But before I get onto that tale of intrigue, business ventures, and just plain fucking up... I have to define a few things.

"Modern Medicine", when I use it in the context of this story, is actually shorthand for "modern medicine at the time" because modern medicine is constantly in flux and capable of change. Except

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Challenge #01451-C356: Nice Doggy

"Aww! Whose a cute little puppy- poo!"

"I have seen dogs. That is definitely no where near a dog,"

"Oh, leave the little cutie alone,"

"I'm serious, are you blind?" -- OohLookShiny

Gorqax sighed. "Look. I can tell you're going to be pedantic about this. A dog is a non-cogniscent deathworlder mammal of Terran origin that is quadrupedal, fur-bearing, and carnivorous."

"Yes, that is the definition." Plegg rolled hir eyes.

"This creature that I am currently grooming is also a non-cogniscent deathworlder

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Ch-ch-chaaangeeeesss...

I thought I was zen about change. I thought I was cool with everything that SPG collectively decided to alter.

But then they announced that Sam Luke was leaving for his own artistic stuff, and my beloved woobie child Hatchworth was gone from the robots I adore.

So my ASD hatred of change kicked up and resulted in a stab of fear through the heart, and now I have the sads. It's not as if he's died for cryin' out loud, but

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Challenge #01450-C355: To Save the World

"I picked you up, even when you were covered in slime after he spat you out! You were technically vomit, and you were still the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on!" -- Anon Guest

"It's a good thing you told me about the uvula," she allowed, "but... a thing? Really?"

"Only by base technicality, dear," cooed Blasingstoke. "You are a machine."

Miss Cliq sighed at him. "Fine. You get away with it for now. No more objectifying cogniscents."

"Yes dear,

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Learning stuff

My favourite saying is, "I'm a writer. I research stuff for fun." Well, I'm going to have myself a lot of fun, sometime real soon now.

Why?

Because we're going to start ourselves on some aquaponics.

Aquaponics solves the problems of hydroponics (delivering nutrients into the system) and aquaculture (fish farming) has the similar problem of getting excess nutrients out of the system. Marry the two together and you get a self-sustaining system that has very little in the way of tweaking.

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Challenge #01449-C354: Sorry, I'm Redacted

[Person #1, in an actual, audible conversation]: [Person #2], I know you're frustrated, and I feel very ████ about that, but █████ ███████████ to ██████████ ██████ with ████████████ ██████████ ████ █████████

[Person #2]: STOP DOING THAT!!! -- RecklessPrudence

"I really can't, El. Ever since I signed a ND contract with ███████████, they installed an auto-redactor in my █████████████ so that no industry secrets can accidentally escape."

"Well, at least try to keep away from industry secrets, Vi."

"I would, but they've even copyrighted words like ████, and that's one of my favourites. I wish

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Definite improvements

Thanks to the antibiotic, I'm getting less green things coming out of me. And thanks to a little bit more approved carbs1, I'm getting rid of the nastiness at lightning rates.

I could do without the epic purge of mucous, about two hours after I've gone to bed... but that's just how my body wants to roll.

Hopefully, this will be the last time in my life that I'll be on antibiotics.

My breathing is easier. My mind is clear... and

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Challenge #01448-C353: Long-term Effects of Stupid Decisions

"In a fit of rage, he got extremely scientific."

Tour guide at the Oregon Vortex, possibly describing Stanford Pines. -- RecklessPrudence

"He employed every sensing device available, in the place where horses refused to go," said the guide. "And more than a few that he invented himself. Results were confounding, to say the least. Keep in mind that this occurred in the early twenty-first century, well before post-Shattering complete scanners. He had to collate and calculate his data on his own."

The

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Owwie, owwie, owwie

Yesterday, the blockage in my sinuses decided to stab me through the left cheekbone. Thereby giving me the worst sinus pain I have had in my life. It hurt to move. It certainly hurt to change elevations. In fact, all I wanted to do with my day was lie in bed and sleep it off.

The Keto sites recommended that, since this bug had bit me during Keto Flu, I actually raise my carb intake a smidgen. The explanation? My body, being

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