The Irwin character and their adventures on Earth -- Anon Guest
[AN: once again, pre-yule shopping took me away from doing this]
"Now in most areas of human habitation, the goal is to cover as much of the body as possible. But here--" images of Surfer's Paradise, "--the rules are turned upside-down. Unless you're one of these blokes," images of surfers in their full-body surf suits. "Their vibrant colours tell the sharks that live in the water that they're not good to eat. And for those with plain colours? That's camouflage so the sharks don't spot them. Humans are entirely ingenious when it comes to methods to get what they want."
More footage of divers, some archival, exploring an environment that was clearly hostile. And one image of a human figure clad head to toe in a protective suit, bouncing along on the surface of their moon.
"I'm hidden so I don't disturb any of them," said the host as the view switched back to the humans on the beach. "These are not a species meant for life in the water, but that doesn't stop them. They even teach their young how to interact with the waves." Footage of a parental human and a baby barely able to stand. The former leaned over the latter and helped the baby along in the shallow water.
"Most life forms have an evolutionary choice. Go into the water and stay there, or stay out of it altogether. These humans are the first mammals I've seen with amphibian tendencies. But it doesn't end there!"
An image of a mountain. "This is the tallest mountain on planet Terra," another mountain, "And this is the deadliest. Every year, humans risk their lives just for bragging rights to say they made it to the top and some..." images of dead humans tangled in the snow, "never make it back down again. It's too high and too much trouble to bring the bodies back down, so other human climbers use the bodies as landmarks."
Now the camera focussed on the presenter. "I know what you're thinking, but these are deathworlders, life is difficult, challenging, and often short. Survival by any means is most definitely the law on this world. And my little friends, the humans? They're pretty good at surviving. Just take a look at the local population around my hide. I have neighbours who've had their bones broken - both by accident and design. I have neighbours who live with near-deadly mutations, and only a change in diet is required to keep them going. I have neighbours with debilitating diseases that will plague them for the rest of their lives... and with a few artificial aids... they just keep on with their days as if nothing is wrong." He showed pleasure to his audience, safely light-years away and on the other end of a wormhole chain and a long flight that the humans had yet to discover. "And I, for one, think that's amazing, and something we can all learn from."