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real life

A 3704-post collection

Unexpected inconvenience

Today's sideways happenings are the direct result of a pupil-free day in both Chaos and Mayhem's schools. We found out about this via the radio because I never have the time to read the school newsletter.

Mayhem's school was empty of kids. Chaos' school was empty of kids. So long half an hour of our precious time, hello my little darlings having party time all over the house.

At least we got a walk in, this morning.

The local ants have decided to take over my desk, so now my job is to do all my blog stuff before the ants eat me, or I melt in the spring heat. Fun times.

Once upon a time, I'd get up when I woke up at 3AM and just do all that nonse. But now that I'm a role model for my little darlings, I have to be responsible and only attach myself to my compy once my work is done. And my work is making sure everyone else has their little fluffy butts pointed in the right direction.

It's a rough job. And I'm the only one willing to do it.

Meanwhile, we have most of Chaos' Halloween outfit within some degree of together. The battery pack solution involves a belt we had hanging around, three paperclips, and a little bit of sticky tape. I love ten-cent solutions to $30 problems.

My leet wirebending skills from years of buggering around with costume jewellery turned three paperclips into one ameteur battery-pack holster, which will be concealed under Chaos' costume singlet/dress. I also turned one paperclip into a new hanger for my costume's light-up heart. Now all I need to do is make certain everything is powered up and we're all good.

And now for the tricky part. Getting my best-Beloved to actually use the solar dryer instead of the electronic one. As well as keeping an entire household sane for an unexpected day off.

Things done, things to do, things in waiting...

Checklists have this way of growing and mutating if you're not watching them.

Like:

  • [X] Hat repaired
  • [X] Chaos' bodysuit futzed with
  • [X] Makeup organised (more or less)

But still to do is:

  • [ ] Garden watering system
  • [ ] Unmuck the kitchen gizmo's cupboard
  • [ ] Fix the heart rig
  • [ ] Chaos' chest gem (entire)

The last of these includes doing the wiring and batteries, printing the case, and arranging a way to attach it to Chaos' chest without visible means of support.

We have a fun weekend

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Maybe today...

I didn't get to half of what I wanted to get done. Part of my brain was really thirsting to do some Minecraft, I guess. Procrastination helps the mind re-set and lets it rest between emergencies, and therefore it is a good thing. In moderation.

I'm making myself get to all those little side-projects, today. All those tiny five-minute tasks that end up taking two hours and all the patience you have to spare. Sooner started, sooner done, and all that associated

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...sigh

Beloved stayed up later than they should have, last night. As a result, I've had my first sideways morning for a majority of a week.

BUT... the house is not in chaos, I have plans to tidy up one of my piles, and I have other plans to do some minor fixes for costume parts for Halloween.

What I really have to do is hurry up with this blog, today's Instant, and the thousand words I usually do on Fridays so that

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Anti-entropy

The house is starting to look firkin fantastic. The kitchen countertops only need a little bit done, the bathroom's gorgeous. We start our day with the beds being made.

Today, I'm talking with the school dental van about braces for Miss Chaos. Something that's happening in TWENTY MINUTES.

Yikes.

I'm also doing some minor and major futzing to get Chaos' costume done. This is going to include some shopping at Jaycar later on. The dollar shop light I got only does red.

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Ridding the house of time vampires

Anyone who does housework knows what time vampires are. You want to work on the hobby, but you have to do this bit or that bit of housework that just sucks your time away.

Well, Mt Laundry now has its last load in the machine and I am waving farewell to that set of time vampires. Now I should have more time to deal with mental health and Halloween costumes and assorted whatnot that has been biding its time until I finally

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Living in the procrasti-nation

The scary thing about my levels of procrastination is that Beloved is worse. I've procrastinated doing my daily duties by writing the starting paragraphs of a book that I'm not due to start until 2018. I love the concept and it's so shiny. I had the perfect starter sentence and I could not resist setting a scene.

Of course, since the Mou editor is slower than frozen molasses, I started editing in my old friend, TextWrangler.

Everything old is new again.

I've

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Ow ow ow ow ow...

Beloved has a day off Mondays, because working on Saturdays is a thing during the Melbourne Cup wind-up. This, I thought, would be a prime opportunity to get them to adhere to the rest of the house's rules.

No.

Such.

Luck.

Beloved had a great case of persistent inertia and gave me the Irrits. Which culminated in a crescendo of me yelling about all the things that Beloved does to piss me the fuck off.

Good news - cleaning the gritty bits

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How I eat cake and lose weight too

It's not easy and it's not fun, but oh, how the cake is worth it.

I'm currently using a diet app called Easy Diet Diary to keep track of how much I eat, and how many kilojoules I consume. My goal for safe dieting, according to the app, is eight thousand kilojoules.

On an average day, I make it up to around eighty percent of that noise. One slice of cake is roughly a third of my allotted kilojoules.

Therefore, the rest

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So close...

You would be surprised how few avenues there are for making one's own costume, out there. Generic, cheaply-made dress-ups are all you can find.

I purchased an allegedly 'adult' costume for Mayhem that barely fits him. And it has massive static cling issues. Which just re-enforces the idea that I need to learn how to sew. Costuming from pret-a-porter is not what it used to be.

I have to solve Chaos' Gem issue, fix my hat, repair my heart, and find some

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Sideways!

It doesn't matter which order things are done in, only that they are done. Therefore, it's no surprise that my little darlings have adapted to the 'get up and do it' routine whilst my Beloved still drags their heels.

Mayhem has taken to sorting the laundry as part of his morning routine. Chaos still needs a lot of reminding, but she is getting used to the way things are meant to go.

Beloved... is working late because Melbourne Cup. Their work gets

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S-L-O-W-L-Y

If there's anything more irritating to live with than a case of the Slo-Mo's, I can't think of it right now.

I couldn't get to sleep until Beloved came home. Well, not properly. I managed to cat-nap until that time. And then I woke at four in the morning. Too tired to sleep.

Which is a bitch if there ever was one.

Since Beloved was home late, I gave up on the morning walk and dived straight into getting the kids organised.

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Yoiks and Awaaaaaay...

Once again, I got rejected. Once again, I do this nonse:

[Shown: Daffy Duck repeatedly swinging into a tree]

I figured this was going to take some time. When I run out of likely candidates in one agency, I will try another. Until I run down to the bottom of my 30-person list.

Only then will I put up Kung Fu Zombies on Amazon and Smashwords.

But in the meantime, there's a new short story for free. It's currently only available in

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I'm 44

...and everything's gone to shit. I got rejected by yet another agent, the birthday card from MeMum hasn't arrived yet (three raspberries for the Aussie postal service), and the careful timing of this morning did not account for Beloved dragging their feet until such time that I have to do my blogging on the road. Huzzah.

Thank providence for laptops, mobile hotspots, and USB car charger ports. Otherwise, I would be supremely miffed at my Beloved.

All going well, I will achieve

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Swag Day!

Celebrations are done and I have yet to scoop up the wrapping paper. But this year was a decent haul.

Beloved gift-wrapped the meds I sent them to get and the pegs I asked for. Sneaky sod. But I also got some sweet tech out of the deal.

  • A shower speaker that I can blue-tooth link to my phone and blast Steam Powered Giraffe whilst I lather up.
  • A bluetooth radio deelie that I can also link with my phone and have
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