Amalgam Universe

Challenge #03100-H192: Unusual Pun-Ishment

The prisoner was sitting cuffed to a chair that was welded to the floor. The human was sitting with a pile of books next to them across the metal table that was also welded to the floor. The chair was not uncomfortable and the cuffs were padded.

[Pirate] "I will never tell you the size of our group or who our captains are. You're wasting your time!"

[Human interrogator with a sigh] "Are you sure? I really don't want to have to do this to you, it's pretty painful."

[Pirate - smirking] "Do your worst!"

[Human interrogator picking up the book] "Alright, but remember, you asked for it."

The book?

Dad Jokes and really bad Puns!

[Pirate after being subjected to several of these] "Ok, ok, stop it!!"

[Human] "And...?"

[Pirate] "Alright, I'll talk!!" -- Fighting Fit

There had been an hour of it so far. Usually involving chickens, with question and response. The Human was enjoying this, but of course they were. Human riddles were baffling, and most definitely not, as the book declared, funny.

So far they had been through reasons why the chicken, a dinosaur, a Colonel Sanders, and a vast assortment of unlikely animals would cross a road[1]. Now another Human had come in for knock-knock jokes. It was horrifying.

"Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana'?" said the Head Jokester. Then they took what appeared to be a fish out of their pocket. Oh no. They were going to do I-say-I-say. It was almost too much to bear. Pirate Jorgen gritted his teeth in anticipation.

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Challenge #03099-H191: Orders Are Not an Excuse

The Good Soldier - Bridget Kielas-Fecyk

.

I'm a brave and proud soldier.

I'm strong with sword and bow.

And upon my Leige’s orders,

My enemy did I lay low.

/

I found my enemy was a father.

A child now filled with tears.

Into my arms I took her.

And tried to calm her fears.

/

My Leige, oh please, forgive me.

For my duties I must forsake.

For I've killed this child's father.

Now as my child, this girl, I take.

/

Now

Challenge #03098-H190: We Already Made That Choice

A planet has a rogue virus that is quite dangerous and, for some, lethal. A vaccination has been found, but due to a dangerous quirk of the virus, it's being difficult about combining it with an immuno-flu, so the old-fashioned shots have to do until another way is found.

Unfortunately, the "pure life" protestors are there trying to physically stop the medical ships from getting to the planet, and they're willing to open fire to stop them. -- Anon Guest

There were

Challenge #03097-H189: The Alliance Has Hackers Too

Look dude I set the bar pretty low, you brought a f@#$%! shovel -- Anon Guest

[AN: Another one I love is, "The bar was set so low that it was a tripping hazard in Hades, but you had to go limbo with the devil." It's just... SO raw and so delicious.]

P.T. Barnum said it best, There's one born every minute. He anticipated people willing to believe his particular brand of bafflegab, but there's suckers that will fall for anything

Challenge #03096-H188: Grey Goo Economy

They seemed like the perfect set of employees. They actually begged the CEO's of the Deregger colonies to be allowed to live there. They offered to work for almost no pay, even less than what the other workers got. Odd, the other workers were not complaining as this group seemed to do a lot more work, but for less shelter and less pay. But the other workers were getting healthier, the air seemed to be getting cleaner, the stacks were not producing

Challenge #03095-H187: Only Among Siblings

Human: We're going to die.. it's over, we're done for.... I'm.. so tired.

Havenworlder: Stop that, we're NOT going to die, you're the human, you're supposed to be comforting me!

Human: I can't do this anymore.. I want to go home, this is hopeless it's over....it's over.. it's over...

Havenworlder: I beg forgiveness in advance for this! - gives the human a sharp slap! -

Human: -- startled --

Human: Sorry... sorry... yeah.. needed that... c'mon, little brother, let's go home

Challenge #03094-H186: They Will Write to Each Other

A human child, hearing a loud bang, finds an alien who looks, at least to the human, like a medium sized dog that's hurt. The child picks up the alien to bring them home and then gives them a bath since they were covered in mud and sticks. The alien wakes up realizing they're now wrapped up in bandages, stuck in what looks like a makeshift "hospital gown", and the child is rocking the small bed they were put in, reading them

Challenge #03093-H185: The Wait for Travel Services

The Humans were sitting around the fire with several of their Havenworlder friends. The winds outside the shelter were howling loudly and they were still waiting for the rescue vessel to bring them the rest of the parts they needed to repair the ship enough to limp it to a spaceport for a full refit. It was a stormy night so the Humans decided to have fun and tell ghost stories. -- Anon Guest

It was a dark and stormy night. The

Challenge #03092-H184: Ozymandius Syndrome

"Yes, I was a CEO. Yes, I am, was, the richest person on my home-world. So why am in this cell? I surrendered myself. Why did I do that? After what I saw, how they helped me, I grew something I didn't know existed. I gained humility. I hurt them. It's time I faced justice for my crimes. I deserve it. I'm so very sorry." -- Anon Guest

A wise man once wrote that it is often considered criminal to live in

Challenge #03090-H182: Baby on Board

A Human toddler is flying for their first time with their parents. They'd never been off-world before and they were excited. The toddler was being brought to a medical facility on a station for a surgical procedure, though as active as they are people would never realize they were sick. With them were several Havenworlders including one who looked for all the world like a large, fluffy, bipedal canine in basic ship's skins. Problem is, the toddler would not stop trying to

Challenge #03089-H181: One Confounding Morning in an Off-beat Security Office

The time Havenworlders trained in a dojo run by humans, defeated and imprisoned a human who was a pirate. They delivered the pirate to the other humans, who were, to say the least, rather impressed! -- Anon Guest

A large number of things are inadvisable to the boundary of impossibility. A number of other things are inadvisable - like telling a Human what's impossible. Humans tend to take these things as a challenge, and there is inevitably fallout as a consequence. Current

Challenge #03085-H177: Relative Luxury

The young deregger expatriate, somewhat reluctantly, but at Gorx's gentle insistence, schedules a few days off since Gorx is very safely at home for a few days to relax. He takes his mom out, she is also trying to wrap her head around this concept, and they truly enjoy their first taste of what people would call, "a vacation from work with pay."

https://peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-03047-h124-free-time -- DaniAndShali

Humans Jef and Bea were learning to adapt. Transiteer Gorx would

Challenge #03084-H176: Hello Again, Little Friend

They had crashed on a planet where the atmosphere was toxic. The pods were safe and able to be moved together to create a larger shelter, and with only four of them, the shelter was big enough for at least a month, though rescue stated they'd be there in about two weeks given the distance and lack of short cuts in that area. Their patient's infection showed by day two. The human frowned, seeing it, then began to cut apart citrus peels

Challenge #03083-H175: Anything is Ammo

A: "What's that?"

H: "What's what?"

A: "That odd thing you're working on." Indicating the odd contraption attached to the human's suit that the human was carefully adding conditioning agent to the strong, stretching, straps

H: "Oh, this? That's just my wrist rocket"

A: "Wrist Rocket?"

H: "My slingshot"

A: ........................................... -- DaniAndShali

"Aw, don't look at me in that tone of voice," said Human Ess, still tinkering with the simple device. It was nothing more than a forked frame, some stretchy straps,

Challenge #03081-H173: Assisted Retirement

She was middle aged, approaching her 50's, her lower back hurt so bad she could barely move. Working in those damn factories for so long, ever since she was orphaned when the last big fire that swept through the city killed hers and so many others' families, had broken her. Then they came. It was late in the night, she'd gathered a huge amount of old, scrap, cloth stolen out of dumpsters and did her best to make it comfortable for her

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A 2297-post collection

Challenge #03100-H192: Unusual Pun-Ishment

Challenge #03099-H191: Orders Are Not an Excuse

Challenge #03098-H190: We Already Made That Choice

Challenge #03097-H189: The Alliance Has Hackers Too

Challenge #03096-H188: Grey Goo Economy

Challenge #03095-H187: Only Among Siblings

Challenge #03094-H186: They Will Write to Each Other

Challenge #03093-H185: The Wait for Travel Services

Challenge #03092-H184: Ozymandius Syndrome

Challenge #03090-H182: Baby on Board

Challenge #03089-H181: One Confounding Morning in an Off-beat Security Office

Challenge #03085-H177: Relative Luxury

Challenge #03084-H176: Hello Again, Little Friend

Challenge #03083-H175: Anything is Ammo

Challenge #03081-H173: Assisted Retirement