Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01333-C238: Pick of the Three

"You can have it done well. You can have it done fast. You can have it done cheap."

"Pick any two!" -- Anon Guest

"You dare talk to me like that?"

The artisan didn't look up. "I talk to everyone like that. Fast and well is not cheap. Well and cheap is not fast. Cheap and fast is not well. Is there more that needs explaining?"

"Do you know who I am?"

The artisan spared a moment to look up. She regarded the king of their realm, master of all he surveyed, and he who controlled who lived and died... in the same manner as a cat might contemplate the very same man. "Yes," she said, and went back to her work.

"Then do me the honour of addressing me with respect."

"Your pardon, sire, but the time I take to honour you steals time from my work. This is a work that must be done fast and well. I have little time for sleep, little time for food, and no time for manners."

"You care for your work more than your head?" challenged the King.

"My work feeds my family and myself. It pays for my home, and it pays for all that we need. If you take my head, then I have no more worries and you have one less artisan." She ran her fingers over her work and reached for another tool. "And since you're demanding my time, you must want me to make something. You can't have that, and my head, too."

The King rumbled a growl. He knew she had a point. But he did concoct a question. "What if I just want one?"

"One what?"

"One quality from your list of fast, cheap, or well."

"Well, when I am done with my work, I may kowtow at you and bless your name for being the first man or woman alive to only want one quality in their commission. All of them demand three."

"How long until you are done with your work?"

"Three days, but please let me have one more to rest."

In four days, the King returned. "I would have you do something well. The best of your work, a shining beacon of wonder and art for the entire kingdom to marvel at."

"I can do that," said the artisan. "You must understand that it will not be cheap. It will not be fast. And I would have your word that you will not execute me or my assistants when it is done."

"I agree to all three terms," said the King.

It took years. It cost a fortune. Yet everyone who saw the work agreed that it was the most magnificent piece that had ever been made. And the artisan was allowed a pension, and a comfortable house to retire in.

If you seek a moral, learn this: All work has a cost, and it will be paid in one way or another.

(Muse food remaining: 25. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

GFDI

It's one of my fave acronyms when things go agley to the point of explosive frustration. And this morning has definitely been GFDI material.

I discovered this morning that the love of my life had not acquired their 'Flu shot this year. And apparently the fact that the entire family caught a virus was enough to convince them that this year's 'Flu shots are a crock of crap.

Which meant that I had to spend some time quietly explaining the science behind

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Challenge #01332-C237: People in Glass Houses Shouldn't

Garnet vs. the PTA -- Gallifreya

[AN: Cue Harper Valley PTA :D]

Steven's first semester at school had not gone great. He was failing advanced math, and flunked right out of sharing that class with Connie at all. And on the night before the PTA meeting, Steven came home with a note.

It was not a criticism of Steven, nor of his scholastic performance. It was a criticism of the Gems and their 'unconventional' lifestyle being a reason why they should not

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Executive Dysfunction R Us

I have come to realise that Miss Chaos and I share more than anxiety. There's also a healthy dollop of executive dysfunction in there. Well. Not that healthy. It's a bad thing to have and it can mess up your life.

For the peeps in the cheap seats, Executive Dysfunction is when you consciously know you have to do a thing, but there's a disconnect between knowing you have to do it and actually doing the thing.

Sometimes, it's like this comic

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Challenge #01331-C236: Epic Levels of Bullshit

I knew about this story, but I had never heard the reasoning behind having the 'roos in the simulation to begin with. Makes a lot more sense, now. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: The real funny part was that this story was used as an example of checking your GD code before release. I heard it in one of my BInfTech lectures. Australia just seems to be a nexus of firkin weird stories. See: The Emu War (spoilers, the Emus won)]

"...and then the

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::is frustrate::

There have been server issues centred around my email programs. Something I could have been told about on Friday evening, but I found out about it on Saturday morning, when I couldn't get the receipt email from Cinebuzz.

I can read emails on my phone only, at the moment. What I can't do is send any replies.

Hopefully this is a state of fuck-uppedness that will only last but a brief moment. I really don't want to deal with this long term.

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Challenge #01330-C235: Grass No Greener

Supervillian grad student, just trying to get by: (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: This tale harkens back to story 1 in this thing ]

I tried to tell her it wouldn't work. Convincing a superhero Aunty to finance a neophyte supervillain requires more points in debate than dear little Wondergal ever possessed.

Just like every other rich person, Aunty Wonderbabe thought that all the poor people had to do to get ahead was work harder.

"Fine," said Wondergal. "Then I demand to have my

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Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges....

For every step forward, there's a stumble back. And a risk of going back to what's familiar, because that's what used to work.

But this is not that.

Followers of my tumblr will notice that I have a new format for pushing my Instants at you. Like all good clickbait, I give you a taste and hope its interesting enough for you to come over and read the rest of it.

I'm still getting used to the Facebook cut-off, but I might

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Challenge #01329-C234: Not-Bear

I'm not saying it's bears, but it's bears. (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

"And in other news, Australian zoologists have managed to capture the fabled Yowie. Down by the little outback town of Canyapassabeermate[1], a local dingo trapper found more than he bargained for in one of his cage traps."

They cut to the live feed where the only person wearing corks on their hat was the American newscaster.

"G'day from down under," she cheered, blatantly ignoring the winces of contact embarrassment from

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Ow ow ow

It's beginning to look a lot like Lurgi...

I am more mentally scattershot than usual. Brain fog is closing in, there's congestion in my bronchii that won't bloody shift, and I keep sleeping on my shoulders wrong and mucking them up.

And of course I've had my almost bloody typical 3AM wake-up because my life must be absolute hades for some reason.

So naturally I start dozing at the keyboard.

I need coffee.

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Challenge #01328-C233: Pax Multilingual

Ghosts and the word 'boo'. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

"What the hell did you say to that demon, Demon?"

"Shayde," said the demon. "And she was'nae a demon, she was Seeliegh. A Fae."

"You speak gibberish, demon," said Sir Ethil. "More so than usual. Everyone knows that fairies are small and have butterfly wings. That monster looked more like an insect trying to appear human."

Behind Sir Ethil, Tragyk the Mage snorted. He had a lot of trouble with pollen, every time

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Happy birthday, Mayhem

Of all the injustices of the universe, the greatest must be having a birthday while you're sick. You can't go out. You can't have a big party. You can't do anything much but ingest whatever you can and groan pathetically. Or wrap yourself up in a doona and play videos all day.

Fortunately, three out of four of those things are Mayhem's favourite activities, so he's not that put out. The minor inconvenience of lurgi is quelled by medication and he hasn't

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Challenge #01327-C232: Almost Like Home

Vulcans discover Australian wildlife. -- Anon Guest

Out in the Never-Never, it's either deathly dry or flooded to the point of cataclysm. This time, when the Vulcans sent their science team to investigate, it was deadly dry. Though they had a native guide with them, they seemed most at home in this arid and hostile environment.

Some even felt chilly, and wore coats.

"Ey up," said the native guide. "Got a nesting emu up ahead."

'Ey up', they were assured, was Australian

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SNAFU!

Whatever Chaos has, Mayhem has definitely caught. They both have a wet cough and difficulty swallowing. Antibiotics do not help, because Mayhem has been taking them and he still hasn't got any better.

Chaos is due to see a closer paediatrician this afternoon, but I am going to complain to the GPs first, because medicine is supposed to help people be well.

I have a stabbing pain in my chest that I know is anxiety because I finally sent off that sample

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Challenge #01326-C231: Seek Understanding

http://immaplatypus.tumblr.com/post/148474190835/fieldbears-ursulavernon-adamusprime-if

if you didn’t know stuff about humans you would think they get mad at the weirdest stuff

like one human raises their thumb to another human that’s good, humans like that

one human raises their middle finger to another human

humans do NOT LIKE THAT

humans think that is a BAD FINGER

don’t you DARE raise that specific finger at me

any other finger is ok just not that one

--

Anthropology

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