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Myths Illogical

A 156-post collection

Challenge #02483-F293: Sudden Onset Deification

A young human in her early teens, a mere military cadet, is forced to fight in a war against an invading tyrant's forces and ended up facing off with the tyrant himself. Either due to her own small ability which was to cause someone to freeze for a few seconds which she usually used to escape bullies, or he made an error in the heat of battle, she got in a fatal blow, and his head fell from his shoulders. He had been a Greater War God. And at his defeat, the power of a god, and the command of his legions and the lands from which they came, fell upon her. The angels of war surrendered to the humans and then, kneeling before the young human, held up their swords to her swearing their fealty to their new goddess. However, that night, she left her tent in the encampments and fled. She was terrified of having that kind of power and did not want that kind of responsibility. Since the tyrant's forces were defeated and the human's lands were now safe, the search began to find her. But would she be found by those that wanted to aid her? Or those that wanted to control her for their own nefarious plans? She feared the immense power she now held, reluctant to accept she was the new goddess of war, and continued to run. -- DaniAndShali

This is the reason why the gods should not tread the same soil as the mortals who are their charges. In such a world, things like... well... this... are wont to happen. Gamin, fresh new god of war, was running from the scene of her crime. She had -however accidentally- just killed the previous god of war. The sword she used keeps coming back to her hand, no matter how many times she throws it aside. It still drips with the somehow ephemeral, and simultaneously visceral, blood of a former deity. Tears streak her face and terror grips her heart. She wants to run until there is no more 'run' left in her body but...

Gods never tire.

She is breathing out of habit. Crying out of habit. Running... well the running is simply because she, Gamin Helfarro, is now and always has been a pacifist. She never wanted to be in the army. She never wanted to be in the base. She never wanted to wear a uniform and she certainly never wanted to carry a sword, let alone swing it at any living being.

But the gods aren't exactly alive, aren't exactly living. Even though they can be killed, they are not exactly alive.

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Challenge #02443-F253: The Mystery Deepens

I read one of your short story of how how the rarity of humans and elves are swapped, and thought this:

A: “Based off these texts this Human is of the European breed.”

B: “But that’s impossible the closest Human gate is in a-siá I think.”

A: “Blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin like elves. Shorten the ears and lifespan you get a European Human.”

B: “Still how would it even get here, it takes days to get here from

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Challenge #02376-F186: So Walks a Spider

Imagine if the Old Pagan gods still walked among us. But the stories from their point of view were slightly different.. and they were only made into gods because of storytellers...

I.E.

Odin: "I started my existence as an ordinary man, and lived a fairly uneventful first life. Then my wife passed and I became lonely so I started to look after all the local lost and orphaned children. The bards started to sing of my generosity far and wide until

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Challenge #02264-F074: Health Spa and Karma Services

"Death is a door,

Time is a window,

I will come back" - Vigor (Ghostbusters II)

One human has this as his motto for life. -- Anon Guest

They say that the lands of Death are the undiscovered country. They say that mortality is the absolute final frontier, because nobody comes back. Imagine thinking that that is your limit. Imagine being that ignorant. In brief, imagine life before necromancy.

Yes, yes, yes. Subverting the natural flow of the cycle of life and

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Challenge #01988-E164: Here Comes Trouble

A demon who really loves their job of messing with people accidentally does something really really good or nice and is horrified to find a single angel feather growing on their wings as a result. -- Anon Guest

Hathreon followed the Crowley School of low-grade evil. From little annoyances, big cruelties grow. The demon could count overpriced, slow coffee, constant urban renovations, and the kind of people who insist on going into the backs of crowded elevators when they're only riding one

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Challenge #01954-E130: Surrogacy of the Beast

Are you mad?! You realize you basically just made a deal with the devil, right? Literally!” “Ah, you weren’t paying close enough attention. I did not just make a deal with the devil... No, in fact, the Devil just made a deal with me.” -- Anon Guest

"Now. Mister... Scratch," said the lawyer. "I understand that you wish this particular event to proceed, but my client wishes to have some... guarantees."

Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, Angel of Lies, the Fallen,

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Challenge #01948-E124: Who's a Good Dog?

In the land of magic, Death frequently has problems with pets that absolutely refuse to stay dead. -- Anon Guest

In all of creation, there is nothing more loyal than a good dog. Though it was widely agreed that Kerby was one of the truly daft ones. He was a rescue dog, and had some kind of skin infection that made him look dead. Dan, who had picked him up with a shovel as part of his job, got the fright of

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Challenge #01880-E056: Truly Heavenly?

Turns out that Satan is a really nice guy who hate violence and God is an old sadistic pervert. Because their roles is just a job, and the Administration messed up with their applications. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I'm guessing 90% of this prompt is based on the Old Testament, Revelations, and possibly the Satanic Rules of Earth as concocted by a bunch of stir-the-pot atheists who routinely cause trouble when the Christians try to shove their religion into public spaces]

Everyone

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Challenge #01858-E034: Dialup Inferno

the number of the beast -- MaxMundan

"Good day, I represent the technical support department of Microsoft Enterprises. We've detected an anomaly on your computer."

"How did you get this number?" said the gruff, gravelly voice on the other end.

"Could you please tell me which version of Windows you are running on your computer, sir?"

"How did you get this number?" said the person on the other side. "You should not have this number."

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Challenge #01855-E031: Hello, Goodbye

Family photos, Wedding groups, school photographs. -- KnitNan

They say that Elves don't age. That's not true. They do age, just incredibly slowly. You can see it, if you journey down a particular hallway in a particular house where the city grew up around it.

They say that Elves steal children. This is a lie. They only take those who have clearly been abandoned. This Elf, once upon a sleeting autumn day, picked up an abandoned infant that had been left to

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Challenge #01844-E020: Considering Coconuts

http://otherwindow.tumblr.com/post/168918610430/ -- Anon Guest

Merfolk didn't want to have much to do with the surface. There was plenty more to eat under the water and they knew it. But the two-legs-like-us[1] were getting deeper and deeper nets, and something had to be done. Let's just say mistakes were made on both sides. Most notable of these is coconuts.

For eons of Merfolk civilisation, they understood coconuts as ill omens. Something that is made to float, sinking

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Challenge #01843-E019: Reminded of the Babe?

Don't do something permanently stupid just because you're temporarily upset. -- Anon Guest

My mother said/ I never should/ play with the faeries in the wood... - nursery rhyme.

The fae folk had her baby. Toddler. Even though her child could walk and talk after a fashion and perform simple tasks, Esa was still her baby and would be so until the day Risso died. Which might be soon, considering that she was marching into Fae territory with naught but her apron

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Challenge #01829-E005: Working Holiday

Terpsichore, Muse of Dancing - conga line, Nuf Said! -- Knitnan

Even divinities need a holiday. After inspiring dancers to do new and interesting things with their bodies, with their costumes, even with lighting and how they made the music they danced to - while they were dancing - even a divine force needed a breather.

But a goddess of dance must go where she is worshipped.

You could spot her if you tried. There's just something more about the embodiment of

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Challenge #01828-E004: A Little Inspired

Erato, Muse of erotic poetry is reading the scrawl on a university toilet door (Probably misspelt.). -- Knitnan

Gods cling to that which feeds them. What they are responsible for, especially the performative stuff, is also their meat and milk. Thus, you might expect Erato to gain the sickly pallor of the people one expects to find in seedy adult stores, as well as the general doughy body of the assumed clientele. Such is not the case. Erato is healthy, well-traveled, and

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Challenge #01827-E001: Speech of the Gods

Calliope, Muse of Music crosses the path of the musical instrument named in her honour, the Steam Calliope. -- Knitnan

In the lack of belief, gods and demigods go to wherever their name is still spoken, written, or known. She was once such a demigod. The muse of music. She had had believers. She had had worship. Now... all she had left was her name. Calliope. And it was here that her name was given to a machine.

They counted the year

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