A 14-post collection

Challenge #02952-H029: Guaranteed For a Lifetime

I know this one's hella old, but I was wondering, as he gets older, has a girlfriend, maybe kids, do they end up working for Madam? Does he teach his kids computer equipment and have them to go college so that they can work for her and be her IT team? Or does he actually suggest hiring an IT team, working with her carefully, of course, so that she can stay up to date? Or, does she end up turning him into a vampire so that he can be her eternal IT guy and asks him to choose a few others to train up like he is so they can stay up to date with the equipment forever, too? What would it be like to be a vampire's eternal IT consultant?

It's from this prompt from 2018. -- DaniAndShali

There are some nice things about working for a vampire. There are some not-nice things. I already had a nocturnal lifestyle, so going to bed sometime after dawn had no fears for me. Being forced to operate at business hours for excursions to the little village in the dell is a bit of a pain in the butt, but I think I have the hang of going out at around about sunset to do my mortal thing.

Madam doesn't quite have the hang of remembering what's acceptable food in the modern era. She still believes quinoa is something you can catch from bad humors. It's not my job description to teach her modern cuisine. I'm there to teach her modern technology. So far, I'm getting her to graduate upwards to relatively newer machines. It's been... a journey.

I got to bitching to the poor chip shop girl as I got myself a quick meal after the grocery shopping. Which is interesting because she was a sympathetic ear. Turns out her grandma is the exact same type. We had a lot of "does yours" kind of laughs. We had fun.

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 58 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Challenge #02198-F008: Immortality Perversion

Little known fact: Queen Elizabeth II is a descendant of Vlad the Impaler, meaning she, and the rest of the lineage to the throne under her, are direct heirs to the bloodline of Dracula...

Kinda makes her remarkably long life seem a bit questionable now, doesn't it? -- Anon Guest

They say wealth has its privileges. One amongst many of those is being able to literally get away with murder. The only mistake -say- Elizabeth Bathory made was selecting someone who was

Read more »

Challenge #01685-D224: Alarming Reflection

Traditionally, vampires could not see their reflection because mirrors were silver-backed. With the invention of aluminum-backed mirrors, a vampire sees their reflection for the first time only to find out... they are the ugliest thing they have ever seen. -- Anon Guest

For centuries, Vampires avoided mirrors. Silvered mirrors would not show them, and the ones backed in gold harmed them. Some would have mirrors made that were backed with brass or bronze... but by and large, Vampires avoided mirrors.

Pierce Opal

Read more »

Challenge #01274-C179: Stay for the Night

Mundane not-goth modern vampire and her gf -- Gallifreya

Local vampire seeks roommate. Must be clean, non smoker, and be able to pay half the rent. No weirdoes.

Claire read the personal again and blinked to make certain that she hadn't read it wrong. Must be one of the weirder goths who drank blood or did the whole 'children of the night' routine. Claire didn't mind goths. It was almost obligatory because she was one.

Read more »

Challenge #01256-C161: Blood in the Boards

Opera vampire

He tries very hard to be a baritone but he's a a countertenor (or possibly a contralto) -- Gallifreya

[AN: This is the guy referred to on the internet as "Gay Opera Dracula"]

Some appetites can not be ignored. Some can be... restrained. I learned that when a Master of Voices turned my best friend into a Castrati. That was a very, very long time ago.

I was turned into something else, myself.

Read more »

Challenge #01237-C142: Strange on a Train -- Gallifreya

Ah crap. Once again, the only seat on the train home was the Weirdo Seat. The ones where all the mentally disturbed just had to sit. And anyone unlucky enough to have to sit next to them had to endure their madness by osmosis.

Euphoria Jones weighed her options. It was a long-ass ride home. Her feet were already killing her from hours chasing after idiot customer requests. Including numerous trips into "the back"

Read more »

Challenge #01114-C017: Monologue of a Vampire

"...In truth, I'm no more a little girl than you are. I was once, of course. Three hundred years ago. Vampirism tends to keep one remarkably... fresh. It's been quite a boon looking like a child. No one ever suspects a thing." -- Anon Guest

Half a world away, before it turned, there had been a girl who called herself Daphne. She realised that it was easy to be invisible. You had to wear ribbons in your hair and skip everywhere. It

Read more »

deadcatwithaflamethrower: ajcrawly: secretallie: heartnell:aromantic-eight:aromantic-eight:heartnell:eighthdoctor:heartnell:heartnell:i...











i wonder what effect wide-spread/public vampirism would have on the evolution of language

like i mean obviously i havent slept properly in like two days but seriously how does it evolve without the assistance of former generations dying out. do people use the words “grisbittyng” and “yolo” in the same sentence. are there parts of big cities where its like walking into a different century like are there neighbourhoods in chicago

Read more »

Challenge #00872-B141: Children of the Monitor Light


What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.”
“Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?”
“Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.”
“Like what?”
“I dunno. Pizza rolls?”)

Hey there.

Read more »

Child. Predator.


I wrote this little snippet not very long ago as part of a creative-writing prompt on Reddit, and figured some of my followers here might find it interesting as well.  I dropped most of it behind a jump-tag due to some potentially-triggering references to child abuse and some brief violent content near the end… but trust me, it’s not done for shock value, there’s valid reasons for it.

I don’t have anywhere near the creativity or patience for

Read more »

Challenge #00740 - B009: Fighting Against the Stereotype

“Bolin! Hey,” Sasha smiled for her. “It’s so rare to see you off night shift.”

“Yeah. Tell me about it.” Safely indoors and out of direct sunlight, Bolin shed her hood and took off her sunglasses.

Sasha burst out laughing. “What’s with the war paint?”

“Zinc oxide is the only sunblock I can wear. It comes in teeny-tiny pots and a range

Read more »

Challenge #00694 - A329: Children of the Permanent Night


All around the globe, the secret societies of vampire hunters noticed something strange. A drastic reduction in the volumes of their prey. All the crypts and castles were actually becoming abandoned hulks. All the roosting places, new and old, were vacant.

They knew it wasn’t them. Despite their best efforts, all the vampire hunters could do was keep the worst examples from running rough-shod through the populations of the living.


Read more »

Challenge #00468 - A093: The Sensible Thing

:) - Svetoslav Petrov

“We have found her,” said the lackey.

“The foretold one,” clarified his companion.

“Already?” said the Vampire. And, since vampires have very complicated and extended names, let’s call him Vladimir.

“Er. My ancestors and I have been searching for the chosen one for three hundred years,” said the lackey.

“Hm. Really.” Vladimir stretched and yawned. “And you’

Read more »

Challenge #00269: Vamping it Up

Pierce Opal Silkyoak goes to a swanky vampire party :P

[AN: Smartarse]

She wore black, of course. Black with lots and lots of jet beads that made it shimmered in any available light. A well-selected scattering of diamonds and gold ensured that there would always, always be light.

The rest of the vamps attending the soiree showed various levels of quiet respect. Those who were her enemies backed off. Those who were her allies paid close attention to her every move. The

Read more »