Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01429-C334: Two Bad Days For Interspecies Communication

A story of language, of cuttlefish and swans, and of oblivious humans. (Well, two stories. Your choice whether they count as one prompt or two) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Welp, we have successfully eliminated the gap count before Cashmas. Huzzah]

1)

It was quite a turn of fate for the captive cuttlefish. They had long since given up on trying to communicate with the air-breathers.

Then one of them noticed them chatting and tried to communicate with their ineffectual tentacles.

"Hey. You. I. Feed. Warm."

The cuttlefish stopped their smalltalk and watched.

"Rock. Up. Vegetable. Breed."

Obviously, they were trying. Using a collection of signs that they had seen, but without context. It was gibberish.

Then they improvised. "Your mother smells of elderberries and your father fucked a sea-urchin."

Of all the ill-chosen movements that might have opened a door to communications, that human chose the absolutely worst one.

The cuttlefish were so incensed that they forgot about the giant leap that had just happened. They would much rather find a way to escape the tank and throttle this insolent air breather.

2)

Most humans, it is widely acknowledged by the swans, are stupid.

A very few of them have bothered to learn Swan, and the rest don't know what they're saying.

Most of the time, a swan will see a human trying to start a fight and, since it's nesting season, swankind are quick to oblige.

Only a precious few know enough Swan to say 'hello' or 'I am friend'. But you can not tell them from the stupid humans, my cygnets. I am sorry, but all humans look alike.

Be wary of them always, my children. Those who are our friends will show themselves.

(Muse food remaining: 11. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

The down side

Every diet has a down side. Slowly rationing fruit to small amounts so I get just the right kind of carbs in the correct amount is just one of them.

And I've discovered what fellow dieters are calling the "Keto flu". As the body gets used to not having carbs around, it goes into carb panic and starts trying to conserve energy. The result is a listlessness and a lack of energy that gets some people swarming back to carbs.

But what

Read more »

Challenge #01428-C333: Educational Amusement

A bird prompt for the Numidids: The story of Kevin-the-deathworlder and the deathworlder bird. (Even their birds are brutal!) -- RecklessPrudence

"...and even... photographers."

The scene cut to a camera-wielding human cautiously pursuing a Killdeer plover doing its broken-wing act. He was making soothing cooing noises, but they were clearly not working.

The person behind the camera was giggling.

The bird floundered aimlessly around as the photographer attempted to capture it without hurting it.

After a total of five failed attempts to

Read more »

Proof in the absence of pudding

This is my fourth day of doing the Ketogenic Diet and I have some fantastic news: I now weigh 87.4 kilos. My previous lowest record, recorded in 2012, was 87.7 kilos.

In four days, I have gone to my lowest recorded weight.

I feel energetic and happy and Beloved and I have gone on our 15-minute walk and not felt drained or strained as a direct result.

Hell, I even put on a load of washing before I was desperate

Read more »

Challenge #01427-C332: Illegal Saviors

Someone going through human archives, and they find this story and the key phrase of it:

"It may be ‘illegal’, but those who risk their liberty to ~save the world~ should never be reprimanded, no matter what those in power say." -- RecklessPrudence

When the people of Pre-Space Planetary System #J4N3T-111811260516 finally get into Galactic Society, they'll find some funny things in the archives. If they go looking.

My name is Leon. And technically? I'm a criminal.

GalStands&Legs - that's

Read more »

I feel fantastic!

Okay, to start off, I have to note that what I've been calling the "Ketonic" Diet is actually the KETOGENIC Diet and works similar to Fatkins but doesn't induce Ketoacidosis like Fatkins does.

How? By replacing carbs with natural animal fats and the simple sugars found in fruit. That keeps the ketones behaving themselves and reduces the need for processed, carb-o-riffic nastiness that makes everyone fat.

That skim milk the doctors recommend based on the Lipid Theory? Carbs.

That lo-fat, Atkins-approved diet

Read more »

Challenge #01426-C331: But Why Not?

This shopping list.

You can have four. -- RecklessPrudence

"Aw come on..."

"None of that 'come on', love. This is beyond a bad idea."

"But how can I do my YouTube special Mythbuster Busters?"

Claire glared at Kevin. "You. Don't."

"Aaaaawwwww.... come ooooonnnnnn... I could be internet famous..."

"You could be hospitalised."

"That's the best way to get internet famous."

Claire glared him down. "Find another way. You have other talents that can get you there without hurting yourself. Come up with

Read more »

Things I Wish I Knew About

I'm starting in on the Ketonic Diet and there's loads of info about it if you become a member1. Starting with how this diet could have plausibly saved my father if I had just known about it.

Current treatment of diabetes goes like this: lower or eliminate the sugar, eliminate the fats, give insulin, and load up on the carbs.

Which is mental, because carbohydrates metabolise directly into sugar.

This leads directly to a fatty liver, a fatty pancreas, fatty eyes,

Read more »

Challenge #01425-C330: Corrupted Signals

Truly showing someone you love them. -- RecklessPrudence

Mating displays in the common human are more than perplexing. Subtle signs of affection are usually missed and overt signals of hostility are misinterpreted. The dominating culture of an individual can lead to confusion when meeting an individual from another...

"Hey babe."

"I'm working." Kiri didn't even look up from her work. Didn't acknowledge him.

"All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl," said Don. He thought he was being flirtatious. She

Read more »

New meds... hooray?

Since the Serotonin was making me constantly semi-drowsy, my doctor switched me out to Zoloft. Or, in this case, the generic, no-brand equivalent of Zoloft because the Australian medical system is not the price-gouging hell-hole that the US has got.

I'm on half a pill, taken in the evening, to scale up to a whole pill later on. And right now, because I dropped the Serotonin and took up the Zoloft, I feel pretty damn awful.

There's the post-swimming heaviness, the difficulty

Read more »

Challenge #01424-C329: Loyalty to Immortals

Going along with humans being fae to city animals (#01413-C318), humans being the long-lived elves to dogs.

(Hi, I'm back! Sorry for the hiatus in prompts) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: No worries]

Mother had brought them to see Grandmother, who sniffed them all in greeting before she lay in the sunshine. Her muzzle was grey and her joints were stiff.

"Soon," said Grandmother, "you will be chosen. One may be chosen to remain... here..." She dozed a little, panting at her own happy

Read more »

Firkin Anxiety

Yesterday was quite a bit more adventure than I was prepared to deal with. I was following the busses to Brisbane to visit the Kelvin Grove campus of QUT so I could keep an eye out on Miss Chaos whilst she had a fun day of learning.

Which would have been fine except I misplaced the busses at the very last turn and got the first parking space I could achieve.

As I predicted, I got frelling lost. I got absolutely, hopelessly,

Read more »

Challenge #01423-C328: Avoid The Greens

People discover, quite by accident, that aliens and spicy food don't mix, and that capsaicin is considered a deadly toxin by most species. -- YizukiKhons

[AN: Yeah sorry I'm late. I had to mind Miss Chaos through an exploration of QUT and some of the courses available there.]

Lynn had been trading with the Hyracont for some time. After years of setting up blind trading arrangements, she got to know a brave few. In their own livesuits, of course. There was never

Read more »

Another special day

Miss Chaos is having an adventure, and everything is revolving around her, today.

Which is why you won't be getting a fresh story until sometime this afternoon. Doing my bloggy stuff is quick and easy, but doing a story takes daydreaming time.

I will be taking Beauties and the Beastly with me via the lappy, but it's anyone's guess as to whether I'll be able to write anything in it before the day is over.

I'm pretty good at squeezing sentences out

Read more »

Challenge #01422-C327: Some Things Don't Work

"Kill it with fire!" -- OohLookShiny

It was a joke amongst the Glunk Cleanup Detail. They were a mix of either the most dedicated cleaners, or the most incorrigible of criminals. And both were under careful watch from rescue teams, but for different reasons.

And all of them knew that flamethrowers had negligible effects on the Glunk.

Well. All of them that weren't new.

Once in a great, long while, someone who was unfamiliar with all the tried-and-failed methods of cleaning up

Read more »