InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12155 posts

Challenge #01824-D363: A Slice of Salvation

Decorating a cake while Trying to sing along with the radio and accidentally summoning a demon. -- Bard2dBone

There are some songs you just can't sing. Or bits of them that only the singer can manage. And in those moments, the rest of the world just utters a string of gibberish that sort of almost fits what's really there. The most popular examples of this are Felize Navidad and the middle bit of One Week. There are always others. You know the ones.

Alek was in the middle of some intricate design for a customer when one such song was playing on the radio. And since he loved to whistle -and more- whilst he worked, the gibberish came out just as he finished the red-toned circle. There was something of a bang, if one could use such a bland, four-letter word for the cacophony of noise that resulted.

The cake was ruined, and there was a confused someone standing in the middle of it. Despite the horns, the fangs, and the general redness of skin, as well as the soot and grime of burned brimstone, their face was an open book and the current page said, What the fuck? They took in the scenery of the back room of a cake shop, the sprawled figure of Alek, and the general mess that was once a very pretty cake and said, "Uhm... who... dares summon me? Please?"

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Good news, bad news, what the flying fuck news

Good news: We figured out what the hell was going wrong with my Friendo's diet

Bad news: It involved a carefully-constructed meal that was guaranteed not to cause a reaction... that caused a reaction.

What the flying fuck news: I've essentially been poisoning my friend for a week and a half.

Yup. Flying in the face of how the human body works, my friend has a negative reaction to grease, fats and oils. And literally cannot eat them without changing address to

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Challenge #01823-D362: Parental Rights

"Parenthood is the most important job you'll ever have."

"Someone PAYS you for being a parent?"

"Okay. Parenthood is the most important unpaid internship you'll ever have." -- Bard2dBone

Of all the laws of the Galactic Alliance, the ones concerning parenthood are the hardest to swallow for various worlds. Especially for certain colonies of the rather aptly-named Terra. Colonies like Quiverfull, Abundance, and a few of the Greater Deregulations have... limited views on the useful attributes of half of their population. And

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Figuring it out

I got the new Pixel 2, just before the end of the year, and it has been some interesting colours of Hell just to get it to perform properly. Case in point - I'm still getting all of my music on my computer copied to this little devil's storage.

I'm going to have to make a new phone case for the thing, since it's just that little bit bigger than the original. And I have a continuing problem with the headphone jack.

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Challenge #01822-D361: Security Overload

With all the fragmentations of humanity, especially the Deregulations, is it a surprise that a collection of old conspiracy theories became a society's Holy Book? -- Bard2dBone

They say, It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. And for some, they believe that is true. It's easier to believe that there is a large, organised Them behind everything bad than it is to believe that shit happens and the people in charge are more concerned with their own pals

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Well fuck

Good news: Friendo is back at my place from their adventures.

Bad news: I need new tyres because one of mine found a piece of wire in a parking lot. And the rest are looking a little bit suss.

Really bad news: I swear this nearly killed my Friendo.

It's okay NOW. Don't panic. It's just that when I got the news of the tyre sundering, Friendo just got right up in there and changed the darn thing in practically pit crew

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Challenge #01821-D360: And Stand Well Back

“If you think you have enough explosives, you evidently don’t understand the concept of explosives. -- TheDragonsFlame

"I just want a hole in the door," objected Grix. "I don't want half the ship to vaporise."

Human Steve sighed and folded her arms. "Honestly, you are no fun at all."

"I did make it clear that we were all to survive this unscathed and with maximum scavenge from this particular wreck, did I not?"

Human Steve groaned. "Yeah. You did. And I

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At the Closing of the Year

I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but I'm going to be four days behind being in sync with this year for my Year of Instants. Four double prompts should take care of that. Hint, hint, cough, cough.

If I get more than that, I'll be prepared for the next time something fucks up and prevents me from doing my thing.

The new years' resolutions are more or less the same:

  • Keep writing
  • Finish what I started

That's pretty much it. Simple

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Challenge #01820-D359: Important Aspects of Station Maintenance

If a small creature falls asleep on top of you, you are required to stay put and not disturb said small creature. Any nearby are obliged to provide you with whatever you need to avoid disturbing the creature. -- TheDragonsFlame

Arjit had been meditating in a nexus known as Station's Chi by the local conglomerate of Nae'hyn. It had been exactly what people had recommended as a spiritual centre. The constant ringing of the wind chimes and the grinding of the whirligigs

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Challenge #01819-D358: Just Like That

“Ok, there’s a bear, and I have a stick. As such, there is only one course of action.”

Moment of silence

“[Name], no.”

“[Name], yes.” -- TheDragonsBlaze

"I can see a few things wrong with your general plan, Human Finn," said Storkaz, holding their Human at bay. "First, that is not a bear."

"Well, if it walks like a bear, grunts like a bear, and has fur like a bear..." shrugged Human Finn. "Might as well be a bear[1]."

"We're

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This time for sure!

We have all the shit collected. We are GOING to get Mayhem his dang tax file number and sort out all the financials thereafter.

Deep breaths.

And then I can give Mayhem some rational reasons to have an afternoon/after-school job once the Traineeship is over with. We need more money and I need a flying hope of being able to buy my new compy sometime real soon now.

But I do have to say that this compy has gone an entire

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Challenge #01818-D357: Gifts For the Mages

Seasonal gift giving. Christmas, New Year, Solstice, whatever. -- Anon Guest

It wasn't the first time that they'd been rounded up for their own good. But it was the first time that this was done with compassion. The food was tolerable, the accomodations fair enough considering the volume. They were allowed to keep their wands and their stuff. And, more to the point, this was one of the few times that the twins received Candlenights gifts.

The labels were impersonal. For a

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Progress?

It's taken me five years, but I figured out how to have an icon/avatar in AO3. All by myself. Yay.

I managed to get Mayhem to agree to getting his paperwork done for the most important digits of his entire firkin life.

I still haven't sent Adapting off to anyone else, but that's my problem and not something I can deal with in the middle of everything else.

And in other news, I am officially worried about my Friendo. They're... not

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Challenge #01817-D356: Adulting Test

Clean up inspired by looming arrival of Parents visiting. -- Anon Guest

It took two weeks for Amber's first place away from home to become a fucking dump. And the following three weeks only made it worse. It was easier to buy new things than it was to look for the old ones. The paths most trodden were the only places where the floor was visible. It was waist high, it was smelly, and it needed to be gone inside five hours.

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I should get a wriggle on...

The bulk of the yuletide nonse is over. There's still a superfluity of yulemas food clogging the fridge.

I haven't put up any Patreon stuff and I should be ashamed of that. On the other hand, I have a guest I don't get to see much, so... It's a struggle. I should make the time and the effort to do these things when Friendo is having a nap or when they turn in early.

But that's for later. Now is for story.

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