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The Adventure Zone

A 5-post collection

Challenge #01883-E059: Blustering Bafflegab

If you can’t blind them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bull####. -- TheDragonsFlame

If there was one thing that Ned "Fucking" Chicane could do, it was think on his feet and talk so quickly that people were nodding along before they realised that he was selling them dung by the bag.

"This one looks so fake," complained a customer/rube.

"This? This is simply a curio. A tip of the hat to the late, great showman, P. T. Barnum. You all recall the famous Fiji Mermaid, and the greatest hoax ever pulled on the human race? Well, this is a lovingly hand-crafted homage. No doubt you have heard of 'reborn' dolls? Commercial mass-produced fabrications initially, but with love, care, and lavish attention to detail, they emerge from the hands of a skilled artisan and craftsperson looking like they are about to take a breath, look you in the eye, and say 'Mama' or 'Dada'. This is but one of my first attempts at such lavish skill, my friend. Just the first. And since I run an emporium of the strange, the bizarre, and the otherworldly... why, I thought it might be fun to tip my hat to the biggest fake in the business. It's merely present as a test, my friend, a test. To sift the weak willed from those with a greater discerning eye. A critical mind and an analytical wit are one's greatest friends when sorting genuine paranormal footage from -say- losers in wookie costumes and out-of-focus shots of venus[1]."

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Challenge #01818-D357: Gifts For the Mages

Seasonal gift giving. Christmas, New Year, Solstice, whatever. -- Anon Guest

It wasn't the first time that they'd been rounded up for their own good. But it was the first time that this was done with compassion. The food was tolerable, the accomodations fair enough considering the volume. They were allowed to keep their wands and their stuff. And, more to the point, this was one of the few times that the twins received Candlenights gifts.

The labels were impersonal. For a

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Challenge #01754-D293: Caught!

"I can explain! I swear!"

"Let's hear it."

"Aw hell. Just skip to the beating." -- Anon Guest

It was one of those situations. Stealth mission. Retrieve the Macguffin of Wherever, and do so in such a way that there are minimum fireworks, thank you, Taako. Taako automatically gave Madam Director his usual forged picture of innocence and Who Sweet Little Me routine.

She wasn't fooled for an instant. Neither was the boy. Angus McDonald, world's greatest boy detective.

And now, several

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Challenge #01746-D285: Why Not Have Both?

Don't be eye candy, be soul food. -- Anon Guest

After the Hunger War, things were relatively quiet. Never too quiet, because despite the differences that were buried to literally fight for life, people liked to remember a grudge or three. The Bureaux of Balance went public and attempted to help keep a lid on things.

And despite semi-retirement, it wasn't that much of a shock to see living legends turn up in situations loaded with strife. Well. Technically three living legends,

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Challenge #01726-D265: One Natural Twenty

"I'm gonna need you to punch me in the face."

"Sure thing!"

"I'm a little worried that you didn't ask for a reason..." -- OohLookShiny

"There has to be a reason?" said Magnus. "I mean, I like punching and fighting and stuff..."

"Yes," said Taako. "That is true. But listen. We're friends. You should at least pretend that it's some kind of moral quandary for you."

Magnus clearly did not understand. "How's that?"

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Prompts remaining: 17

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