Ned Chicane

A 1-post collection

Challenge #01883-E059: Blustering Bafflegab

If you can’t blind them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bull####. -- TheDragonsFlame

If there was one thing that Ned "Fucking" Chicane could do, it was think on his feet and talk so quickly that people were nodding along before they realised that he was selling them dung by the bag.

"This one looks so fake," complained a customer/rube.

"This? This is simply a curio. A tip of the hat to the late, great showman, P. T. Barnum. You all recall the famous Fiji Mermaid, and the greatest hoax ever pulled on the human race? Well, this is a lovingly hand-crafted homage. No doubt you have heard of 'reborn' dolls? Commercial mass-produced fabrications initially, but with love, care, and lavish attention to detail, they emerge from the hands of a skilled artisan and craftsperson looking like they are about to take a breath, look you in the eye, and say 'Mama' or 'Dada'. This is but one of my first attempts at such lavish skill, my friend. Just the first. And since I run an emporium of the strange, the bizarre, and the otherworldly... why, I thought it might be fun to tip my hat to the biggest fake in the business. It's merely present as a test, my friend, a test. To sift the weak willed from those with a greater discerning eye. A critical mind and an analytical wit are one's greatest friends when sorting genuine paranormal footage from -say- losers in wookie costumes and out-of-focus shots of venus[1]."

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