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Challenge #01892-E068: What Rough Beast

“Wait... you mean to tell me that this is the ‘terrifying predator’ we’ve been searching for?” -- TheDragonsFlame

Eyes glowed in the dark. Human Grif trained her spotlight on them and found, "Aw, it's a kitty. Here kitty, kitty, kitty..."

The creature in the darkness slinked out into the light, making a "Mrrp?" sound as it came.

Human Grif made kissy noises, and tore off a tiny piece of jerky as an offering. Before long the cat was smudging up to her as if they were long-lost friends.

The Sculids of the remaining crew stood agog, some choosing to stay safe in their hiding-holes. "That is a pet-beast of your kind?"

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Challenge #01891-E067: Stop, Children

I can't be the only one who, when consuming media focusing around the notion of "mythology made modern" (taking fantasy creatures and putting them in our time and place like they've always been there), gets kinda tired of the sort of "prejudice is the conflict" thing best described as "black and white gang up on green".

You know, the situation where lazy/bad writers rename "white supremacy" as "human supremacy", heavy-handedly portray the fantasy races with negative human stereotyping (making orcs and

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Challenge #01890-E066: One Firelit Evening in the Middle of Nowhere

“I am fire! I am death!” *Pokes [Person 2] with a stick -- TheDragonsFlame

"Dave... we get it. You made fire with some sticks and shit. That does not make you king of the mountain or even king of fire. This is a skill that cavemen could do, Dave. Cave. Men."

"None of you assholes could do it," said Dave. At least he'd stopped jabbing his 'fire stick' around while he was jubilantly dancing.

"Still fuckin' hurt, Dave," said Bob, rubbing his

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Challenge #01889-E065: No Cause For Alarm, My Dear

Pax Humanis has an interesting work force, a lot of killers and a few who hold their leashes. -- Anon Guest

There is a world where only specialists go. There are lots of forests. Lots of lakes. Plenty of reefs. It is a paradise. It is also where they keep the psychopathic, sociopathic killers. There is one city, where the analysts and the scientists live. The scattered and vast estates are for the killing killers and the people who they, for want

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Challenge #01888-E064: Before a Fall

"I am unstoppable!!!"

slips on banana peel -- TheDragonsFlame

Hubris is always punished. It's a law of the universe. Get too egotistical, get too proud, get too vainglorious, and the universe will extract its taxes on your body, your soul, and everything you hold dear. Time is always good for this. Extracting the years day by day. Making those who were once strong, feeble. Making those in power jealously guard it until Death creeps up behind them and takes everything away.

But

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Challenge #01886-E062: All in the Manual

If you're tired, sleep. If you're hungry, eat something. Take care of yourself. Self Care Haiku, found on the internet. -- Anon Guest

It was a decorative plaque, almost in the style of the Ten Commandments in the way they were arranged.

If you are tired, sleep, it read. And onwards into other rules.

If you are hungry, eat something. If you are thirsty, drink. If you are ill, take medicine. If you are dirty, bathe. If it is broken, get it

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Challenge #01885-E061: Motivation

Undyne tried to get Sans to spar with her. -- TheDragonsFlame

Sans slept like the dead. If you'd pardon the pun, because he was in fact a living skeleton. Only one thing could wake him up and that was the smell of ketchup on a warm hotdog. He leaned towards it, only to have it lift away. By the time he was sitting up, his eyes were open and he could see Undyne with one of the best hot dogs in the

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Challenge #01884-E060: Let's Make it Clear

Mutual responsibility, when both the government and the governed rely on each other. -- Anon Guest

"Ask any guy in a bar, and he already knows how to run this country better than any schmo in office. So to that point, I am making all our laws, all our policies clear. Including nationwide reform and initiating a coherent set of laws for all states and counties in our beautiful country. If you care about how this country is run, tell us the

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Challenge #01883-E059: Blustering Bafflegab

If you can’t blind them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bull####. -- TheDragonsFlame

If there was one thing that Ned "Fucking" Chicane could do, it was think on his feet and talk so quickly that people were nodding along before they realised that he was selling them dung by the bag.

"This one looks so fake," complained a customer/rube.

"This? This is simply a curio. A tip of the hat to the late, great showman, P. T. Barnum.

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Challenge #01882-E058: Flakk it

After having done something stupid and dangerous to escape a hazardous situation At the time it seemed like a good idea. Afterwards, it's a miracle that it worked without killing us all. -- Anon Guest

It takes a special kind of human to be the Ship's Human in a war zone. Crew need quick thinkers, Luckers of a certain calibre, and those with rapid improvisational skills. Or, as it was known amongst the Humans, "MacGyvering the shit out of things."

Human meme

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Challenge #01881-E057: As a Bird

Never underestimate the sanctity for some people of the most trivial things, from the wine used to cook to the way to open a pack of cigarettes. -- Anon Guest

Being married to Blake was like... being pecked to death by finches. The really tiny ones that you could never believe were a real bird. And though their tiny little beaks didn't leave much of an impact on their own, they could whittle away a loaf of bad bread all the same.

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Challenge #01880-E056: Truly Heavenly?

Turns out that Satan is a really nice guy who hate violence and God is an old sadistic pervert. Because their roles is just a job, and the Administration messed up with their applications. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I'm guessing 90% of this prompt is based on the Old Testament, Revelations, and possibly the Satanic Rules of Earth as concocted by a bunch of stir-the-pot atheists who routinely cause trouble when the Christians try to shove their religion into public spaces]

Everyone

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Challenge #01879-E055: You Have Been Randomly Selected

In case of epic quest to save the world, it's never the Royal Guards or the veteran that we send. Because the guard must protect the Royal Family and the veteran are either too old or already dead. So it's always the rookies adventurers who will be blocked by a locked wooden door. -- Anon Guest

They had tried, once, and only once, to send the Great Hero to defeat the evil forces of darkness. What they discovered was the Unwritten Rule:

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Challenge #01878-E054: The Mating Game

[Title, "The Harkness Test"] Because if Humanity discovers Alien life without needing a xenocide (from either side), there will be at least 1 person who will try to mate with them. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Again, please do not make your prompt title part of your prompt. You could literally make your prompt title a serial number. I care about the prompt content, and doing the title stuff is a pain in my butt]

Some elementary truths about humans in general, and

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Challenge #01877-E053: Working With the Dead

Sometimes the person you admire or love has a passion or hobby that they would really love to get stuff for. -- Anon Guest

Hobbyists are easy to buy for. Well. Most of them are. Gardeners will love you for getting a big bag of manure. Leatherworkers - the less said about the gross stuff that Leatherworkers would thank you for, the better. Especially if they do their own tanning. Arts and crafts people will be grateful for infinite art supplies.

But

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