They Fight Crime

A 9-post collection

Challenge #02243-F053: Hardy Malone and the Mystery Missive

The letter appeared on her homework desk, under her second-hand typewriter.

"Nanna! You said you changed things, and I told you to do something about it, and go read the papers from 1940 onwards. And you'll need 10 pounds to buy that chest in the Junk shop."

"But! But I'm 14 and still in school!" -Inspired by Casandre Jones. -- Knitnan

The letter was printed, and not by any means that she recognised. It certainly hadn't come from her typewriter. Her letter T was slightly off kilter and the commas always had an extra blob from the key strike. These letters were far too regular, and the paper... Something about it was subtly frightening. Something... more.

It was too white. Too smooth. Too thick. It was almost not of this world. It wasn't addressed to Polly-Anne or her preferred short form of Pol. It was addressed to Nanna. Which really was odd because... well... she was fourteen. Then there was the matter of ten pounds and the chest in the junk shop. Pol had neither ten pounds nor any idea about the chest in the junk shop. Then there was the overall scolding tone of the note. As if whoever wrote it - made it? - was disappointed that Pol was late in accomplishing some secret mission.

Pol thought about the whole thing on her walk to school. She didn't have a bicycle because Papa thought that proper girls had no business using them. Bicycles and the riding thereof, he said, caused proper girls to begin improper habits[1], though he never said exactly how. In fact, Pol had begun to wonder if she should try riding a bicycle to see what improper habits they might engender. Then there was the matter of ten pounds and the junk shop. What junk shop?

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Challenge #02095-E271: A Morning of Intense Regret

"Must have been a great night; I'm imaging thudding noises."

"It was a stupendous night, and it's not your imagination." -- Anon Guest

Marvin winced at the light making its way through his eyelids. It was too sharp for him to open his eyes, just yet. The booming thud shook him and stabbed his brain, and the whimper in his throat sounded like a roar and felt like knives on fire were coming out of him.

"Have we learned something?" Wraithvine murmured.

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Challenge #02075-E251: Safe Hide

When I first met you, I feared you, for I had heard the rumours and they weren’t pretty.

Then I got to know you. Your compassion saved me, your sympathy broke me, and your songs put me back together again, strange and misshapen but whole once again.

And now, after all that we’ve been through? Well, there’s no one I’d rather have by my side, friend. -- Anon Guest

First impressions are a son of a bitch, sometimes.

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Challenge #01980-E156: Friends From the Fringe

Having grown up together in the intergalactic community equivalent of an extremely isolated orphanage, you are very confused as to why everyone seems to be terrified of your best-friend-turned-basically-sibling-because-years-of-social-isolation-will-do-that-to-you. I mean, sure. She certainly has some weird habits and ways of showing affection, and can be rather unaware of her strength at times, but she’s also the nicest, quietest, most loving and peaceful sentient you’ve ever met. So why do all the scary, known-to-be-killers species hiding from her in fear?

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Challenge #01747-D286: Stop Me if You've Heard This One

"Okay, this might be scary so if you need some time to prepare-"

"Jokes on you I'm terrified a hundred percent of the time anyway!" -- OohLookShiny

A Havenworlder and a Deathworlder walk into a bar...

So very many jokes start this way, including the off-colour one that also included cogniphagia. But this time, it was reality. The Havenworlder was in their livesuit and tucked under the arm of the deathworlder. A big, burly, brick of a human.

The worst kind.


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Challenge #01571-D110: Lost With a Blue Box

:When summing up recent events:

The tree does seem to be suspiciously friendly and sane for an ancient being or ancient artefact, let alone both in one. Even the only other vaguely sane ancient being, the balloon-jellyfish godling, wasn't this friendly until she was punched in the face a few times and given a pretty good Shut Up, Hannibal speech by a sapient brain tumor, and she doesn't seem to have been nearly as old.

...that was a weird sentence. -- RecklessPrudence

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Guy Memento [get it? Token male] is the cheerleader/comic relief and general support dude for the Unexpectables.He's the one who's there...

Guy Memento [get it? Token male] is the cheerleader/comic relief and general support dude for the Unexpectables.

He’s the one who’s there with a fluffy blanket or a coffee or Lamb’s Fry during Shark Week.

And, when the writers are having a slow week, he’s the one who gets kidnapped with alarming regularity.

Yeah I basically reversed the gender roles for 90% of the Action Hero Team makeup.

For the record:

Munashe Castell is the ‘Beauty’. It

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Challenge #00894-B163: The Unexpectables!

Beauty, brains and brawn. The traditional makeup for any team. Have fun.

There’s hundreds of ways to be a hero. And more than one way to be a heroic team…

Munashe finished the delivery forms for her auction winnings. An entire library of childrens’ books from a now-defunct school. Purchased for a dollar from a government auction because nobody was interested in buying things from a school.

The story books were going to a children’s hospital. The educational stuff

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SKIP Revamped: The Case of the Polite Vampire (part two)

He took off his stark white gloves and dipped the mug into the bucket. Guzzled cupful after cupful like a starving man tearing into a banquet.

Mesi watched, amazed. So very little of the blood was allowed to spill. Not one drop reached his crisp, grey waistcoat or fancy, wide tie. And none of it marred his tailored white shirt.

It wasn’t her imagination. Those manicured fingers were growing sharper as he fiercely gripped the bucket.

“So… were

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