Manners

A 6-post collection

Challenge #02773-G216: Vent Words

(Unabashedly based on my grandmother and her go to "curse word")

H - "Crab apples, pineapples, and sauerkraut!"

A - "... I think my translator is broken. I got an offensensitivity warning on what you just said, but I think you just listed foods?"

H - "You shouldn't curse... It is rude." -- SilverRey

Humans are bizarre. This is acknowledged. Some Humans just happen to be more bizarre than others. For example: Most cogniscent species acknowledge the need for stresser/expressive words to articulate anger, frustration, or otherwise vent the stronger emotions in a safer manner than destruction of self, property, or others.

It is also known that some Humans find such expressive words beyond rude to repeat. The alternative expressions have become... inventive.

"Oh, cucumbers!" Human Jone shouted following a loud clang. "Radish rutabaga pie! Baby hippos!"

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 84 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Challenge #02572-G015: Inappropriate Topic

It has been lingering in my mind for a while. Every waking moment it come across my mind. I feel like I’m gonna get my ass beaten if I say it out loud. But why my crew mates look like anthropomorphic animals?!? -- Anon Guest

There are times when it seems like the Universe was made by a lazy creator. The truth might seem stranger than that fiction. Convergent evolution means that beings suitable to a specific gravity and a specific

Read more »

Challenge #02299-F109: I Smell Your Stink

Hey mom, hey dad.

Glad to hear everything's going well back at home. Hope lil sis is still practising for her band tour. Everything here's good, except for one thing. My roommate is kind if the equivalent of a sentient space skunk. I mean, I don't blame them, but you know how strong my nose is! I bet it's not even that bad! So yeah, everything else is fine.

Love you guys,

Katie -- Anon Guest

Humans tend to boldly go where

Read more »

Challenge #02132-E303: Occam's Solution

"We do this every month, and it always ends the same way!"

"But I'm telling you it shouldn't! We change every variable every time."

"But never the most important variable -- YOU!" -- Anon Guest

The wizard Narbic Parvin Charm boggled at the heroes. "So I just have to sit and wait like a bump on a log while you do all the complicated things to open the unopenable door?"

"That's looking like the shape of it," said the leader of the

Read more »

Challenge #02016-E192: Minder's Manners

“Why not?” Is probably one of the most dangerous questions in a humans repertoire, ESPECIALLY when followed by the response “Because fuck you that’s why.” -- Anon Guest

Humans are a contrary bunch. Obstinate. Stubborn. Determined. Tenacious. And most definitely vexatious. They ask questions. The second most-annoying question in the Human repertoire is, "Why?" But number one on the list is, "Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to," is not a sufficient answer. Humans much prefer reasons that make logical

Read more »

Challenge #01970-E146: Crash Site Review

"How does it feel?" "Can you describe...?" "What do you think?" And other inane questions often asked of the accused, the shell shocked survivors of a tragedy or just some poor sod who happened to be there when something happened. -- Anon Guest

In retrospect, it is a mistake to make an emergency landing on Nolliwud. It was almost a resort planet, with a majority of the planet's industry dedicated to creating dreams. Live action, animation of varying kinds, even audio. If

Read more »