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Dear Diary

A 3744-post collection

It's 4AM and my life sucks a little

Got woken up by another asthma attack at two in the morning and didn't take a nebuliser dose until 3. I'm going to need another dose long about 6AM. This is indeed a Bad Air Day.

I'm now worried that I may cause alarm and despondency if I need to use my machine in public at Tucson. And to that end, I've warned Miss Bennett about me and put an FAQ on my phone.

I still have no idea if Bunny sees my asks. I tend to have the worst timing in regards to putting stuff in her inbox.

Things that once went right are starting to go wrong...

Asthma attacks on a Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season level [it's Autumn. Of firkin COURSE it's Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season despite the firkin heat] are just the first step.

  • The power cable for my laptop has died the death and replacements must come from either Tanegashima or firkin Narnia. By snailmail. [The very nice dude who I ordered it from understands my panic and promises to get it to me ASAP]
  • The large picture frame that I was using to block the dawn light in my office has fallen and broken and...
  • Because of my asthma attack, I am too twitchy to even try and clean that up, and...
  • Because of the hour, I am in my bare feet. Firkin yay
  • I'm dizzy and twitchy and it still hurts to breathe
  • This is nasty, I'm getting dimmed vision [But I'm still okay for limited definitions of okay. I think]
  • I'm really, really worried I'm gonna pull this "party Trick" in Tucson and panic everybody including SPG and I definitely don't want to give the best band in the world a firkin panic situation and...
  • I really don't want to miss the performance because I was hauled off in an ambulance ffs [Fuck Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season. Fuck it up the ass! Sideways! With the ungodly progeny of a pineapple and a frelling cheese grater!]

(I feel very strongly about my asthma. You can tell)

I have to look at the positives or I'll just end up in another pillow fort all firkin day.

  • I have a stopgap charging arrangement that sort-of works a bit
  • I have the cutest dress for my cosplay on order and it's custom made. Even if it doesn't get here in time, I can kludge together SOMETHING to stand in its place for Tucson because...
  • I am guaran-firkin-teed to be going as Bitzer to every firkin con that I pay to get into. [When/If they start paying me to come, I might have to arrange a day to be Not At My Table]
  • I can get the rest of my makeups locally [Already has silver, black, and gold!], and there are multiple sources for the petticoats nearby
  • Beloved is helping me with the mask and the heart and finding just the right pair of shoes - even though literally nobody will care about the footwear
  • I have four firkin pairs of striped pantyhose now bring it the fuck on
  • I have successfully covered most of the bases in my FAQ. If so requested, I will post it in my Tumblr
  • I have sources for cool makeup shit and striped pantyhose in my size Always Wicked Art and Atomic Cherry, respectively, are firkin AMAZEBALLS
  • I have been practising Bitzer's little tics so often that it's almost second nature. All I have to worry about is using my left hand to pick up things first
  • I am going to be so firkin hyper at Tucson that I will not have to fret about maintaining character or energy levels. I may have to fret about being able to sleep though...
  • When I'm out getting the shoes and the petticoats and the makeups, I am allowed to get myself extra undies without guilt
  • I think I may have figured out a way to fix the mesh fingerless gloves that are available so that they look all antique and partially wrecked. It involves tracing my hand, cheap black cloth, and equally cheap black lace and -yes!- the help of a willing compatriot. Expect a blog entry about this
  • I actually have a Significant Other who wants to help, and did all the other things to get me to Tucson en Robotte

It's almost 5 AM now. Time to find my thongs [that's flipflops for the Americans in my audience] Then I shall take a walk and have my dosage and do all the other things that must be done. Yay.

Sure, I have to reserve some time to go visit MeMum and get the bloomers finalised... and that's a four-hour round trip. But it's coming together. It's okay. I should not panic.

Because I am paranoid enough to arrange for extra everything, just in case. (I never thought I'd be grateful for intrusive thoughts)

...ow

I'm not a happy camper, today.

The asthma attack that will not end is still not ending in a timely manner. After four runs on the nebuliser, yesterday and one this morning, I can feel something loosening up in the bronchii, but it's taking its sweet time shaking loose.

Meanwhile, I shake so much that something has to fall loose, but it isn't.

I'm changing approaches to editors again. Beloved says that working from a MarkDown copy is way easier than working

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Why do I hurt myself?

I could not get to sleep, last night. I thought I was anxious about getting my cosplay together, but it turns out I was having a Clayton's asthma attack.

Clayton's(adj): The thing you have when you're not having a thing.

In my case, it's not realising I'm having an asthma attack until I look at my fingernails [instead of glance at them] and say, "Holy fuck, those are purple!"

I was probably one very bad night away from full-blown cyanosis. And

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If I don't do anything today...

I know the reason why. It's called Kingdom and it's a 2-D side-scroller RTS adventure game.

The graphics are heavily pixelated, but there is detail and wonder in that, all the same. The parallax happening when you go exploring is so beautiful, it's been the cause of my monarch's death many a time.

I've already learned not to upgrade stuff during a red moon. That's when all the nastards come out.

The three things you need to balance are archers, builders, and

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Hark, hark, the dogs... don't bark?

I had a curious incident of the dogs in the neighbourhood, this morning. Like in the Sherlock Holmes adventure Silver Blaze, they did not bark.

Not a single hound decided to greet me this morning. And I'm very used to the local canine population reacting like I'm Bobby The Serial Killer whenever I toddle by their particular patch of fence.

On one hand, it means that my neighbours around two blocks don't curse my existence or the goddamn cheerful "Good Morning!" I

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Ugh it's muggy

The storm last night wasn't that amazing for us. Nor did it give us any respite from the humidity. Even though it's currently 28 degrees [84 Fahrenheit], it's that bloody humid that perspiration is literally dripping off me.

This is the exact kind of weather that has me skipping meals because I feel too awful to eat anything. Or has me snorking down ice cream by the bucket load because it's just too hot to think of eating anything else.

Pre-hydrating seems

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Ermagerb...

Cosplaying when you can't fucking sew is expensive. When I have the free time, I am going to have to get myself some lessons on sewing and drafting.

I just spent almost $180 on a dress from HelloCosplay. It's a very nice dress, too. I still haven't got the corset because the sizing chart doesn't match the sizes when you order one 9_9

At least the prices are better than the potential angst of ordering from a place like FanPlusFriend.

I

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Argledy blargledy.... Wwaaaaaahhhhh...

We have ONE MONTH to get everything together for WWC5 and I'm already panicking. Beloved has agreed to help me with the heart and I have the sinking suspicion that we will be making the dress because NOBODY sells gothic lolita togs anywhere near me. At least none that I can go to and try on.

There's one place that will make a dress for me, but it involves ordering and I have no idea if it's going to take less than

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Brace yourselves

I finally finished 2015's year of Instants [now currently in the editing stage, coming out soon to a Smashwords near you] and I begin on this year's Leap Year of Instants because it's a leap year this year.

Which means a whole new brace of serial numbers and some confusion to new readers. It's OK. The numbering system is mostly for me. And they're a fairly unique identifier so there's no such thing as two stories with the same title and number.

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Ffffffffffffffffff...

Not just a noise of frustration, dear readers, but also a recurrant problem I have encountered with the running of this site. And it's a weird one.

This publishing system has trouble with F words. And not the F word you might be expecting.

Just take a look. This is what my editor sees:

[Image shows correct text with the proper spelling of a certain typo in the published version.]

And this is what happens when the exact same text gets published:

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Hectic!

Swimming Sunday was cancelled because Real Life interfered. Beloved's dad got whisked to hospital because of a blood circulation thing [he's fine now BTW]. Because my default state in an emergency is to man the phones, I did not want to leave the house.

Because Beloved thought I'd somehow go swimming anyway [WAT?] they decided to NOT FIRKIN CALL WITH ANY GD NEWS.

We've been in a serious relationship since the late 90's, folks. And Still, neither of us knows how the

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Day four of pre-hydration

OK so yesterday, I didn't weigh myself and I had what some might call some bad choices for my meals.

Pre-hydration - drinking about half a litre of water before meals - seems to work its best when one can do so before every meal.

I skipped out on lunch's water, yesterday, and it kinda shows.

I'm back up above the 95 kilo mark. BUT, I'm not back up to my previous level of stagnation, so that has to be something. I

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Putting myself out there

Inkitt has a semi-regular fanfic contest and, just recently, they've lowered the minimum word count to 2K. And I happen to have lots of 2K or greater count fanfics lying about.

What I lack is time to translate them.

But I'm doing some of that today.

You can check me out at http://www.inkitt.com if you so wish. I have a feeling all my entered fanfics will vanish soon, so search for me by the name of CM Weller.

Beloved

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Stupid diet tip that gets results [at least for me]

Beloved gave me a diet tip the other day: Drink two glasses of water before eating any meal.

I immediately thought: This is bullshit. I'm going to try it and prove that it's bullshit.

There's no way that two glasses of water [roughly half a litre if you're going with a 250ml glass] would do anything beneficial towards losing weight whilst upkeeping health. I know for a fact that many diet plans (coughcoughatkinscoughcough) are focussed exclusively on losing weight rather than maintaining

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I'M GOING TO TUCSON!!!

:@ YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! :@

Be best beloved darling dearest spouse had some frequent flyer points that were about to expire and decided to cash them in on a round trip to the States so I can go to the Wild Wild West Con in Tucson, Arizona, and see [IMO] the BEST BAND IN THE WORLD.

I honestly thought I'd have to wait a decade before I saw them in person. Minimum of five years, assuming they got as insanely popular as they deserve and actually

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