Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01214-C119: Don't Send Me an Angel

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/142561344474/what-do-angels-actually-look-like-per-the-bible

Angel: “FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: screaming

Angel: “I SAID FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: screaming LOUDER

Angel: “WHAT PART OF FEAR NOT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING?” -- Gallifreya

[AN: The link supplied contains images that might be disturbing to those who don't read biblical accounts of what angels look like]

From the Expurgated Gospel of Tebol the Shepherd:

And the Lord sent an Angel unto Tebol, and the Angel had unto itself twelve wings, half of them like unto a bat, and half of them like unto a bird. And the angel had unto itself twenty eyes. And each wing had an eye upon it. And each of the four faces of the Angel had two eyes. And all the eyes burned with holy fire. And the robe of the Angel was like unto the very stars in the sky.

And lo, the Angel of the Lord spake thusly, "FEAR NOT!"

And Tebol was sore afraid. He made a great cry to the Lord for help. And he ran from the Angel. And he ran after his flock, which had scattered in fear.

And lo, the Angel of the Lord spake thusly, "I SAYETH UNTO THEE, FEAR NOT!"

And Tebol did soil his clothing, for his fear was mighty. And Tebol did scream until he could scream no more. And Tebol quivered from head to toe. And Tebol did attempt to burrow into the mountainside by using his shoulderblades.

And lo, the Angel of the Lord spake thusly, "DUDE, LIKE... WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?"

And Tebol sayeth unto the Angel of the Lord, "Have you looked in a mirror?"

There's a reason why this gospel never made it to the big book.

(Muse food remaining: 41. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

My calendar is full

Driving to and from Tullagawupwup. 3AM wake-up against my will. A dire need for coffee and a dire need for air.

And one of my nineteen parcels arrived, but it wasn't any of the ones that I can confirm as being in Sydney.

Evidently, Aus!Customs has no qualms about a quarter cup's worth of glass shrapnel seed beads. I kid, of course. I'm not going through all this shit just so some forensics mook can dig it out of the scenery.

Read more »

Challenge #01213-C118: Talking it Out

Therapy ghosts! -- Gallifreya

[AN: This prompt harkens back to the second half of story #01176, Free Spirits. But you know I'm not going to go further with that one]

Someone was in his usual hiding spot. One of the more corporeal monsters. A skeleton. A tiny little kid. And they were crying to themself.

Happstablook remained invisible as he crept closer. This kid was crying. Not the loud crying that demanded attention, but the silent kind that would not go away,

Read more »

Secondary skills

In the words of Odo when Quark questioned his interest in funerary rituals, "Everybody needs a hobby." It didn't come in to the Hevun's Child trilogy, because almost everyone I was writing about literally did not have the time to kick back, relax, and faff around.

I glimpsed at it in The Amity Incident but by and large, the entire human colony were a bunch of nerd whose primary focus was their better future. The luxury of messing about with things to

Read more »

Challenge #01211-C116: Through the Multiverse

Adventuring around the Multiverse, starring Stanford Pines! (If you have not seen Gravity Falls up to Not What He Seems, please replace Stanford with another character)

  1. With Wander and Sylvia
  2. In the last TV show, comic or game universe you encountered -- Gallifreya

[Of firkin course I've seen Gravity Falls. I was just never up on the decoding things because I (a) lacked the reflexes and (b) lacked the smarts. This is an author who needs help at every third Professor Layton

Read more »

A Winner is...

The 7-loop connector bars (250 of them!) from Milky Way 888. They were one of the last to get going, and I had to extend the allowance time lest my order get cancelled. And yet, they are the first ones to arrive in my hot little hands.

A moment of silence for the ziplock baggie that tried valiantly, but could not contain the mighty force of two hundred and fifty brass findings during the rigorous journey between there an here. It did

Read more »

Challenge #01210-C115: The Daydreaming Ape

We've all done it, been handed a phone in a business office for the case handler, or we sit and wait, and wait, and wait in a government office while time passes like frozen molasses. Someone gets creative with this time, nothing that will get them 'escorted' off the premises. -- KnitNan

[AN: I hope I corrected this prompt accurately. If not, let me know and I'll fix it]

What many people don't know is... waiting rooms are an enormous social experiment.

Read more »

Signs of progress?

Yes, I'd love some. I looked up the status of my nineteen parcels for EGDB, and nothing has yet shifted. I've also discovered that Auspost is absolute shit at tracking things from China.

I can't wait for the day that I'm big enough that I won't have to worry about this shit.

Chaos keeps complaining about being forced into a Dutch Braid rather than a French Braid. All her arguments are currently illogical so I guess I'd better actually show her why

Read more »

Challenge #01209-C114: That Which is Left

The Sedlec ossuary of Kutna Hora

(if you're interested, there's a gallery of photos here (not for the faint of heart I suppose, but it's clean bones) https://imgur.com/gallery/QZE8a) -- Gallifreya

Logical solutions can look disturbing in retrospect. Take a small area with a large population. Arable land has to be kept clear for farming, so the living can eat. There is not enough fuel to burn the corpses, but just enough to cook. Therefore, the buried dead are

Read more »

Gifts! Plus getting there ever so slowly

My darlings have delivered unto me enough combined sugar and chocolate to conceivably choke a horse. And I now own a coffee mug so huge that I must be wary of the undertow. It looks like it can hold at least twice the usual amount of caffeine/beverage of choice. Maybe 2.5 times the usual. It's going to be fun finding out what I'm capable of on that much coffee.

I have four out of nineteen of my parcels for Every

Read more »

Challenge #01208-C113: The Battered Knight

http://kelpls.tumblr.com/post/121675020089/i-really-like-the-idea-of-enchanted-suits-of -- Gallifreya

Every time she passed that one suit of armour in the hallway, there was always the smell of Rosemary. Princess Marille had inspected it, once or twice, in her youth. There was not a single scrap of Rosemary anywhere near or inside the shell of that battered old knight.

She had asked her tutors, once, why her family kept that scarred and dented armour when all the other suits of armour were so

Read more »

Birthday Embuggerance

Miss Chaos is turning eleven in a little over a week. Her fondest wish is to see Steam Powered Giraffe. That's more than a little beyond our means, right now.

The best I can do for her is to fill her iPad with as much Steam Powered Media as I can.

Her second prize, "purple sparkles", is going to manifest in some hand-crafted jewellery. As soon as I find something suitably purple and sparkly. Fellow relatives are welcome to find as many

Read more »

Challenge #01207-C112: Little and Fierce

http://squigglydigg.tumblr.com/post/141864716252/squigglydigg-control-yourself -- Gallifreya

Lewis was relatively easy to calm down. What there was of his fury ebbed quickly and his rational mind prevailed. And Vivi could always restrain him until he saw logic and reason.

Arthur lost count of the number of times that Vivi stopped Lewis from turning some unthinking lout without a brain-to-mouth bypass into grease.

She would begin with physically restraining him. Holding him back from the kind of confrontation that would end

Read more »

Challenge #01206-C111: Funny in Context

Someone could have been seriously hurt... But they weren't, so it's funny -- Anon Guest

Rael had could not recall, exactly, why they were in locks and docks. The gravity there was less than reliable in most places, and Shayde was one who seemed to use it to her advantage without any effort whatsoever. Rael had significantly more faith in the safety tether than his own ability to "hang on in time".

Almost all of the humans who worked there for extended

Read more »

"Drink it Freddy": the non-alcoholic drinking game

Mayhem and I came up with a stroke of genius, this morning, and it all came out of a bottle of beverage that had been hanging around inside the fridge for a month.

This shit is not due to go off for a year, so we came up with a non-alcoholic drinking game.

To play, you need:

1 shot glass per player
1 stack of trivia questions [Optional, colour spinner if you're using Trivial Pursuit cards]
1 beverage that was clearly a

Read more »