Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01349-C254: Ten Good Reasons Why You're Wrong

"Oh my god!"

"What?"

"You're a nineteen year old boy!"

"Yeah, so?"

"So stop puttering around with your knitting like a senile old woman!" -- OohLookShiny

Andrew took a deep breath in. Slowly let it out. "There are things you need to learn, mister complete stranger who decided to butt into my life. One: this is crochet. Two: I'm making blankets for homeless or abandoned kids in shelters. Three: this is an exercise to help me gain back some fine motor control after an operation."

Alex finished off the square and put his work back into his travel-project bag. He stood, revealing his full bulk to the weedy dude. So many people assumed he just carried a lot of crap with him because his youthful face didn't match the rest of his body. "Four. I find it a useful method to keep calm in stressful situations. Five. It's also a useful method of anger management." He flexed, then, pumping out his muscles so the stranger could take in the full effect.

"N-now I d-don't want any t-trouble..."

Alex relaxed a little, but only a little. He still loomed over the man. "Yeah? So why'd you start it?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Six. Fibrecrafts are a dying art and deserve to be maintained. Seven. Dismissing old women who knit as senile is not only sexist and ageist but also fucking stupid because knitting involves a literal ton of math. EIGHT!"

The guy flinched.

"What you just said to me was so goddamn toxic, it's a wonder the EPA don't haul you away for safe disposal. Nine. Hand-made fibrecrafts last longer and are better made than the factory-second, sweatshop shit you're wearing. Ten. I'm actually helping people. What are you doing with your time?"

He sat down and, glaring the dude right in the eye, picked up his hook and began another square. Everything in his posture said, I dare you to stop me.

The weedy interloper decided to move somewhere else. Alex kept an ear open for his annoying voice, just in case he decided to interfere in anyone else's otherwise okay day. When he got back to his therapist, he'd have to talk about how so many people decided to remain ignorant about things.

But for now, he had thread and hook, and counting. Alex would have to say that the ten good reasons method had actually stopped him punching someone's face in. That had to be a good thing.

Even if it looked like he might have scared that guy for life.

(Muse food remaining: 21. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Yoiks and Awaaaaaaayyy!

I got my first rejection, yesterday. The agent I sent a sample to, sent me a "thanks but no thanks" letter. I can't let that get to me, but at least I'm not set up to fail on my birthday.

And today, sometime between getting a heart-monitoring harness fitted, fetching a new battery (or more) for my sleep monitor, fetching the kids, arranging dinner, writing my book, etc.... I will fling another sample towards another agency and set my timer for potential

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Challenge #01348-C253: That Escalated Quickly

Lilo Pelekai and Steven Universe -- Anon Guest

[AN: Pretty sure 90% of the Disney Channel visited Lilo, back in the day, so I'm bringing Lilo to Steven]

Steven was getting fast. And strong. And thanks to his newfound ability to leap around like a balloon, Greg didn't have to spend so much on a truck rental. Which meant that the beach stage was going up in record time.

Correction. It had gone up in record time.

"Whoah. You're getting too good,

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Re-arrangements

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. I have kids to deliver to grandparents on Saturday. Tech support and guests coming up on Sunday. The house is entirely skew-wiff. And I only have so many spoons with which to make improvements.

Beloved is seeing a dietician today, which will likely mean that 1000000000% of the food they love and the food we have is instantly unsuitable and must be taken far, far away and burned for the good of humanity.

And it will also mean that

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Challenge #01347-C252: Could They Pick a Worse Team?

I am a ____ agent, I have a voice synthesiser in my throat. I can do any accent you can think of! Unfortunately I've lost the instructions at the moment... And my voice box is stuck on shop demonstration. -- Anon Guest

"Héllo, Madarm. I am hére to see your studént Camila Rodriguéz."

The school secretary looked at the badge, and the agent, and grew a very concerned look.

"Yés. I am a PINATA agént, I have a voice

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New regime

Beloved's been undergoing a run of tests, lately, to discover the root behind an accelerated heart rate. And the answer, dear readers, is diabetes plus cholesterol.

Since I'm still undergoing my own battery of tests, in regards to that same vital muscle, we both figured it'd be great if we got into some healthier habits. Which means breakfast for both of us, morning walks together, and mutual self-maintenance schedules.

The tricky things to do are way less tricky when there's company. It's

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Challenge #01346-C251: Purse of Holding

Like the Tardis it's 'bigger on the inside'. It can be anything carryable from a Ladies handbag (a notorious source of strange objects), to one of those pull along "granny" trailers, or whatever you like. -- Knitnan

"Here. You'll need this."

It looked like a small, leather pouch. There was some beading on it that had evidently not been designed with hard use in mind. But, it didn't feel like a small, leather pouch. It felt indefinably heavier. "What is this?"

"Bag

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Can they see me?

Neil Gaiman said something interesting on his Tumblr, today. The whole post is here but the meat of it is this:

Your job isn’t to convince your teachers that they are wrong, just as it’s not your job to accept their prejudices. Your job is to learn enough from them that when you become a famous writer, whether of fantasy or of something else, they’ll have to be proud of you anyway.

And it's a lovely, inspiring message. There's

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Challenge #01345-C250: Well You Took Your Time

Prompt: the hollow coconut TONK noise that can be produced by tapping the right place on top of someone's head if their mouth is open. -- Gallifreya

[AN: Grats, you got me to hit myself on the head several times]

Rael was currently being a small, blue-black dog that 'just happened' to be where this backwards colony of humans had put Ambassador Shayde.

They had evidently landed with the best technology of their launch-era, but the process of building a colony and

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New and interesting ways of fucking up

I usually try to never make the same mistake twice. That often leads to the title of this blog entry.

I just got over a major depressive bout (I'm still in the fragile stages FYI) and discovered that my breathing problems might just be because I'm actually having lung trouble rather than emotional issues.

It's a process of elimination, folks.

Experiencing breathing difficulty:

  • Is it a rhinovirus? Nope. Got over that.
  • Is it depression? Nope. Got over that (mostly).
  • Is it my
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Challenge #01344-C249: Blindly Winning

Lion and Connie - without Steven -- Gallifreya

Steven? Connie opened her eyes. Pink fur. Cotton-candy mane. Steven's lion. She was in the middle of a small circle of clear air, or what seemed to be clear air. The meadow and the flowers under her feet soon vanished under the eldritch shapes of the obscuring fog.

"Where's Steven?" said Connie. "Do you know?"

Lion just licked her face.

There was... a Homeworld Gem called Moonstone. She had the power to summon obscuring

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What a wonderful day for my messed-up mind

Yesterday, I was having a sort-of ok day. As in, I didn't feel completely atrocious and that was a step forward. One... giant leap, if you will.

BUT I also noticed that my asthma meds were playing me up and I really should talk to the Quack because I should not be oscillating so frequently between tremula and lack of air.

According to my nails, I'm getting plenty of oxygen. According to my sensation of breathing, I'm struggling to get air.

That's

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Challenge #01342-C247: The Terra Curse

1) More has been added to the post about "aliens trying to invade and being foiled by wildlife" http://sharpestscalpel.tumblr.com/post/148783332263/professorofeljay-myurbandream-jabberwockypie

2) Quick, think of a couple of characters that got made for one of these prompts and write something about them -- Gallifreya

[AN: This puts the gap count down to 4. Also, callback to this post]

1)

The first Tyrvaki colony to settle picked what they thought was a nice place. It was nice enough for

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Deeeeeeep breaths...

I have an old slanguage term from my childhood days of shaking off disease. It's 'dishraggy'. As in, feeling like a limp, slightly greasy, overdue for a wash, dishrag.

It's a very floppy feeling. The effort to raise an arm is barely worth it. The greasiness resides in the soul, and can't be washed out with all the hot bubblebaths in the world.

So, in short, I am feeling 'better'. For limited definitions of 'better. I'm more mentally prepared to be functional,

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Challenge #01341-C246: Riders of the Apocollapse

The four Horsepersons of the Apocollapse(Not a typo), ride fourth and get in each other's way. -- Knitnan

[AN: It's officially 'apocollapse' now. It's a word that's long needed to happen]

"And now... we... um..." said Absentmindedness. "Wossname. Thing. It was on the tip of my tongue..."

"Ride?" suggested Mislaying.

"YEEHAW," Distraction gunned hir engine and raced off in the first direction that appealed to hir.

Two of the remaining three started their bikes.

"Shit," said Mislaying. "I lost my keys,

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