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Modern Fable

A 2-post collection

Challenge #01840-E016: Toxic, Useless, and Ugly

"A man of words and not of deeds, is like a garden full of weeds." -- Knitnan

"I will work so hard," he said. "I won't even have time for golf. I won't have time to tweet. I'm talking bloody knuckles. I'm talking wearing out the grindstone with my nose. I'm talking twenty-four-seven. Hard. Sweaty. Work. For you. For all of you." And then he spent more days on the golf course, on holiday, or on leave than any other leader to date.

"I'm not a racist," he said. "I am the least racist person in the world. I don't even know what prejudice is. Look at me. I've hired five black people in as many days," who had quit, in outrage, but that wasn't important right now. What mattered was the sound bites. "I strive for equality in everything I do. I want it. I need it like air. I just want to make things completely fair." Two days after gaining office, he signed into law a ruling that allowed any person of authority to deport any person of colour that they deemed 'suspicious' to any country of their choosing.

"I'm a thorough-going feminist," he said. "I'm all for women everywhere. Equal work, equal pay. Hell, those moms who choose to stay at home? Heroes. They should get a medal. They should at least get paid. I mean -what- motherhood is like four degree jobs going at the same time. You should get paid for that. You should honestly get paid for that. It's a lot of hard work. A lot of it. And hard work should be rewarded." One day after gaining office, he signed into law what the news called the "Back to the Kitchen Bill" that made it illegal for married women to seek employment in anything other than daycare, cleaning, or kitchen staff jobs that were not the head chef. Two days later, he classified teaching as a daycare job. And lowered the minimum wage threshold for women. Publicly stating that women "would just get pregnant and quit anyway."

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Challenge #01349-C254: Ten Good Reasons Why You're Wrong

"Oh my god!"

"What?"

"You're a nineteen year old boy!"

"Yeah, so?"

"So stop puttering around with your knitting like a senile old woman!" -- OohLookShiny

Andrew took a deep breath in. Slowly let it out. "There are things you need to learn, mister complete stranger who decided to butt into my life. One: this is crochet. Two: I'm making blankets for homeless or abandoned kids in shelters. Three: this is an exercise to help me gain back some fine motor control

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