InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12163 posts

Challenge #01400-C305: Incomprehensible Biology

Human females become the most feared aspect of humanity when aliens realize that they regularly bleed once a month as part of their reproductive cycle. -- YizukiKhons

When venturing into the wild spaces, those territories outside of the Galactic Alliance, it is vitally necessary to have at least one human on the crew. Their pack-bonding and protective capabilities were highly prized in wild space.

Such was the case with the TikTavi, where the ship's human had a name unpronounceable by the crew. She let them call her Tutu, and for most part, her peculiar biology was something she managed for herself.

Humans, they learned, got bored when nothing new was happening. In the spaces between destinations, the human socialised, played games, and generally wandered everywhere like the random element she was.

T'k'tur had the job of attempting to keep the human out of trouble. A difficult enough task when they were 'adventuring', but there was little more troublesome than a human when they were bored.

Trouble arrived today with blood. T'k'tur felt this was necessary to mention. "Have you harmed yourself, Tutu? You are bleeding."

Tutu looked down at her pants. "Aw shit," she muttered. "I never get any warning. I'll be back when I have this sorted. And new pants."

T'k'tur waited patiently for Tutu's return. When she did, she indeed wore a fresh set of pants. "Your wound is organised, yes?"

Tutu rolled her eyes and sighed, "Oh boy..." She examined the ceiling for answers, and finally found them. "Human biology has no seasons," she began. "For humans, especially females, there are things we can't control. Including the time that we shed our uterine wall."

"Uterine?" echoed T'k'tur.

"It's like your seasonal shed," she tried. "Only, inside... and for just one organ."

"Is most uncomfortable?"

"Oh yes. Tomorrow, I'll feel like something is trying to escape."

"Must to be grateful, is yearly occurrence, yes?"

"Uh... about that... It happens once every twenty-eight days. On average. I have an irregular cycle so... For me? Ignore the twenty-eight days. It's... random."

"Twenty-eight days is not enough for recovery!"

"I'm glad you sympathise. Really."

But in her next escort job, Tutu found that the aliens who hired her got incredibly respectful. Word got around, and legends perpetuated. Hell, they fissioned.

Just another one of the tall tales about humans.

(Muse food remaining: 12. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Back to work,huzzah

I finally did that video I've been gassing about since forever. Soon to be yet another ignored and flagged music video on YouTube. See if you can find it.

I also found those silver split rings, so I can get on with finishing those earrings I've been gassing about.

And now that it's November, I can make that doctor's appointment I've been gassing about, too. Just... not for today, because it's practically a national holiday. I want to see the doctor, not

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Challenge #01399-C304: Home Again, Home Again

Skelebro(s?) coming to collect Frisk from interdimensional adventures -- Anon Guest

"Look, this kid belongs to somebody, Wander. We've been through this."

Wander was doing his puppy-eyes again. "I know, Sylvia... but just look at hir. Ze's so cute..."

Frisk signed, I knew I shouldn't have worn the tutu today, but ze signed it to beings who did not understand hir. Once again, actions spoke louder than sign language.

"...there ya are, kiddo."

Frisk shrieked a tiny noise of glee and

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The Big... Evening

It's All Hallow's Eve, so not only do I have to remind my dear readers that my latest free story is available for All Hallow's Read, but I also have to get three sets of ducks in a row. And film myself putting on makeup, and do Chaos' makeup, and help everyone with their costumes...

...andandandandand...

I'm sure much fun will be had, but shortly before that, there will be snarling, frustration, and yelling.

On the plus side, there might be a

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Challenge #01397-C302: Weird Encounters

Frisk Meets....

1) The Mystery Skulls

2) Scooby Doo -- Anon Guest

[AN: This puts the gap count down to ONE. Also, I'm assuming you mean the Mystery Skulls of MSA]

1)

Frisk signed, You're new. Hello.

The formally-dressed Skeleton in front of hir glared down at the child. He was apparently nodding to a beat that Frisk couldn't hear. He didn't speak, and that could be because he didn't have a lower jaw.

Frisk tried offering him some monster food. A

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Ah, Sideways

Printing the new HUD holder for my car has entered 24 hours of manufacture. And Mayhem decided to take things that weren't his. So we had to go out and make him pay for replacements. As well as his own supply.

I'm not sure this will work, but it might help Mayhem understand that money is a limited resource, and so are the things you can get for it.

So I start my day at nearly eleven AM to try and write

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Challenge #01396-C301: Unconventional Saints

While skimming Reddit's D7D page, I ran across a thread discussing interesting house-rules various groups had invented for their games. Some were mundane, like what weapons did certain amounts of damage on critical hits, or which monsters were weak to certain elements, but one strange one stuck out...

"Paladins and Clerics who are sworn to the service of gods who are Lawful Good in alignment are, as a result of their intense piety and devotion, actually and literally able to piss pure

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All set up

All props are prepped. I'm currently wear-testing the crank for my costume [on an old belt, which fits with the character]. I got $32 worth of wrapped lollies to potentially give out to fellow Halloweenies as they come by our door.

I even have some dollar shop decorations up to let the neighbours know that here there be sweeties.

Mayhem's morph suit is falling apart, which is what one might expect from a dollar shop deal. He needs to repair it, but

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Challenge #01395-C300: Don't Feed the Birds

Person 1: (Panicked and running) "There's a dinosaur in the time machine! THERE'S A DINOSAUR IN THE TIME MACHINE!"

Person 2: (Vaguely annoyed) "Again? Those sneaky bastards..." -- OohLookShiny

Callie looked vaguely alarmed as Baz dug into his mini-fridge and extracted a sausage.

"Don't worry," he said, "It's chicken." He casually strolled down to the temporal lab where a black-and-white feathered dinosaur waited and watched expectantly. As Baz entered, it burst into song.

"That... sounds like a magpie..."

"Probably one of their

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Success?

My Da always used to say, "Nothing succeeds like a toothless budgie," and none of us could stop him. Well, the much-gassed-about nommables recipe is technically a success. In that Beloved likes them.

It is NOT a success for my energy levels.

Today's recipe is... well...

Expectation:

Reality:

But never fear, dear readers, I shall document how this absolute disaster unfolded and what I plan to do to make it better next time.

Noms

Implements:

  • Measuring spoons and cups
  • 2 mixing bowls
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Challenge #01394-C299: Gods Grant It

In some religious systems the ruling Deity 'rides' or speaks through a member of the congregation. Like Lois McMasters Bujold's "Saints" I wonder if it's more of a problem than an honour. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I firkin LOVE anything written by Lois McMasters Bujold]

One good thing about taking shelter in an abandoned temple, Josephine mused, was that one was technically close to the gods. She'd prayed at half of those altars in the dead of the night. And now, at

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Sdrawkcab

So let's recap:

  • I forgot to post yesterday's Instant on Tumblr
  • Nobody noticed
  • I spent so much energy fetching the ingredients for the proposed noms that I had zero energy to actually make said noms
  • I had trouble going to sleep last night
  • I had trouble staying asleep last night
  • I woke up tired
  • And the process of making myself make those noms meant that I missed out on most of my morning activity. Including my daily walk and dog-annoying.

I have

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Challenge #01393-C298: Meeting of the Lost

Alphas have the charisma and make the most noise, but it's the Betas, and Gammas who do the most work. -- Knitnan

[AN: Alpha theory is a relic of Victorian thinking and all that 'might makes right', 'survival of the fittest', strength==power bullshit. The creatures we think of as 'Alphas' actually wind up winning the least female attention and losing out in the genetic lottery. I'm a writer, I research this stuff for fun]

He thought he had found some of

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MONEY!

Beloved got paid, yesterday, which means I have money in the bank today. Which means that I can go out and get the life essentials, like almond milk, tub fruit, and ingredients for some adjusted noms.

The recipe originally hails from this tumblr post but I've done some twiddling.

I've replaced the sugar with Stevia, and the peanuts with almonds, and will probably remove as much of the salt as I can get away with by default. Since you can't get salted,

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Challenge #01392-C297: Liminal Time and Space

Night people. Those who by choice, obligation or calling walk or work the Night Shift. -- Knitnan

Children of the night... what interesting lives they have. Those who work from dusk to dawn work in liminal time. Where the strange is not just expected, it is background radiation.

People turning up to their workspace in PJ's, half their PJ's, and minimum legal clothing are a fine example. And though everyone talks about that one time a dude came in wearing a live

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