InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12154 posts

::static noise::

Beloved is home and sleeping it off. I wish I could be that lucky or that able to follow suit.

The best option I have is caffeine. Which sort of works okay, I guess. But ceases working long about 5PM. But I should be done with the important stuff by then and honestly - who cares that my sleep cycle is broken and needs new tyres?

Nobody.

Sleep aids have to be herbal, dear readers. My biology is such that if I actually took a real sleep drug, I would die in the night from not breathing in. Fun shit.

True story. Last time I was in hospital, the nurses kept waking me up every half hour to ten minutes to ask if I wanted a sleeping pill. After THREE FUCKING DAYS of this, I got tired of their shit.

Them: [long about 2AM, waking me up for the billionth time that night] Are you sure you don't want a sleeping pill.
Me: [tired, and fucking tired of this shit] Tell you what. I'll take the damn pill, as long as you promise to check on me every ten minutes to make sure I'm still breathing. We cool?
Them: [gets this fucking Look on their face that was an open book with large print and its contents were "OH SHIT".] Oh. Okay. We won't bother you again.

And they didn't. There may or may not have a note in my permanent record, now, that's like Do not give this bizarre freakazoid any sedatives, they might fucking DIE. But I sure hope so.

Because explaining my hereditary and sincerely weird body chemistry to ANOTHER set of doctors used to be a regular pain in my butt. Someday, they may test my genes. It's gonna be interesting.

But I digress. I'm here to write stories and fight somnalism.

Challenge #01920-E096: Cometh the Postman

Humans are social creatures. Even the solitary ones. - MolluscsAndMonsters

Humans like me have a saying: No man is an island. Or words to that effect. And... they're right. Even antisocial assholes like me need to brush shoulders with other cogniscents now and again.

But that's why I have the mail run to the cul-de-sac strings. You get wormhole chains like those. Places where it's ten or more jumps to any nexus, anywhere, and the places along the trip are the places

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FGSFDS

So I irrevocably woke at 1AM today.

It's going to be nasty.

I need to do my monetary fetch quest for cash before I'm too tired to drive. It's cleaning day. I have a sore throat. I have asthma because too many sugary treats are just lying around in the open and I have the self control of a hyperactive toddler.

I need to work on that.

BUT.

Today IS the day that I make an actual conscious effort to use the

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Challenge #01919-E095: I Welcome Our Automated Overlords

At last robots replace politicians and things get done, sort of. think of the pro/anti same sex marriage bill here in the wonderful land of Aus. -- Anon Guest

Everything is getting automated. Everything. There's a company of machines that are churning out placeholder, formulaic potboilers with mad lib plots. Humanity now finally values the creative spirit, because it is about the only thing that cannot be replicated by procedural machines. But even then, the machines are learning.

And, in an

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I can DO this

Broke Keto pretty darn hard, yesterday. Feeling bloated and retaining water today. My fingers are awkward sausages and I only JUST got over yesterday's carb coma.

My focus ability is going out of the window.

BUT...

I have an Instant to write, Blasts from my Past to schedule, and MeMum to visit. Mayhem has already volunteered to "guard the house" - translated, stay at home and play games all day.

Chaos, however, is glad to come along for adventures, so MeMum gets

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Challenge #01918-E094: Weapons of Mass Pacifism

Sometimes, some people are born with a kind of "blessing". It makes them totally unable to understand the concept of "evil". And it could create people, children most of the time, that are so pure and innocent that even the most ferocious beast or darkest dark lord wouldn't even think about hurting it. -- Anon Guest

There are people and things that are too good to be real. Well-behaved puppies. Ball pits filled with plushies. The really expensive salted caramel ice cream.

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::Deep Breath:: Aaaahhh...

Posted all the Patreon stuff at record lateness. Posted the latest chapter of Babes in the Wood. Also figured out that I used the wrong email to send my imagined items of to those marvellous McElroys, and sent them all off to the correct email with minimal edits.

Loyal Patrons have already received the unedited version at no extra cost. I honestly don't know if concocting diabolical artifacts for a podcast I like counts as fanfiction. And since it's a completed work.

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Challenge #01917-E093: Deploy E.C.O.

"Welcome to the first cross-species special forces. You were selected because you are the best of the best in your domain. Now, you will all learn how to efficiently subdue or kill a foe, how to infiltrate a place heavily guarded and how to secure civilians that were hostages. But most importantly, you'll learn that your most important tool isn't your service weapon or a multi-tool knife. Your most important piece of equipment will be this plushy. Because there will always be

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Bad start

I got up before my alarm. Yay. I posted the latest installment of Babes in the Woods. Yay.

I have also procrastinated for three solid hours. Boo.

On the plus side, I don't have a huge amount of work to do today, IF I don't have to haul Mayhem across country to Banyo. Just fetching him in the afternoon is fine? But going there and back twice just about wrecks me.

I need coffee.

The worst thing about my sleep issues is:

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Challenge #01916-E092: Give Me Your Answer Do

To be a good bouncer, you don't really need to be strong and to like violence. You just need to be intimidating enough that even the drunkest person on the universe wouldn't want to make you angry. -- Anon Guest

Dave didn't need to do much to keep the rowdy ones quiet. All he had do do was flex. It meant that he took up twice his previous volume and made his previously-loose clothing creak ominously at the strain. It was easy

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PLNs and stuff

Today, Mayhem is going to get his firkin phone fixed. At midday. Which means that my temporally-challenged arse has to keep an eye on the passing hours.

Not easy when I'm in Holiday Mode.

Holiday mode has me thinking things like, "Hey, I can nap between ten and sometime this afternoon!" and does that. Or I go, "I can watch videos all firkin day," and do that.

Hell, I woke up at 2AM [Beloved's fault, they stayed up until the wee small,

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Challenge #01915-E091: Surprising Nutrition

All fungi are edible. It's just that most are edible only once. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I recognise that Terry Pratchett quote!]

"There's food all around us," said their nature guide. Teaching these wayward kids some wilderness survival skills. "Can you point out what's edible?"

Tilly, the quiet one, said, "Everything. The real question is: what's edible more than once?"

Nature Guide Sam winced. Right. Some of these kids were on the spectrum and took things to literal extremes. Or extreme literalism,

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Whoops

Today has been a clusterfuck.

Got Mayhem ready for his make-up day of traineeship just fine. Yay. Then got informed LATE that I would be the one taking him in. Which meant rousing Chaos because you don't leave anyone at home who's under fourteen because law.

Which also meant a two hour round trip because traffic jam and extra exhaustion on my part because I just don't travel well.

Whoop. Whoop.

That plus my digestive system getting rid of the extra carbs

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Challenge #01914-E090: Primate See...

One person or animal discovers how to do something, think barb on a fish hook, monkey's using salt water to separate rice and baboons catching protein rich flamingos. One creature, but the whole clan picks it up. -- Anon Guest

Civilisation rises on the phrase, watch and learn. There are stories centering around clever and wily people who tricked, crept, or sneaked their way into learning important secrets from Gods, Spirits, or other Magical beings.

Sometimes, those beings come from the stars.

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Hocus Pocus

I need to focus.

Once again, my scattershot brain is not staying on task. It wants to do all the fun things, like reading fanfic, writing fanfic, and tooling around on Tumblr for more Shiny Elf Pics.

BUT...

There's the post-Erastide cleanup to do, and I gotta do a bank run before time gets away from me. Again.

Today for realsies, I am doing the Beta Prep for Rael and when it's done, I shall put out a General Call. Desperately Seeking

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