Menu

Subscribe

InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12342 posts

Welp

I got too many carbs. I ate too many carbs. I am up and over the 77 kilo line, and I pretty much should stay solidly on my diet for a fortnight, but DANG...

That was some lovely stuff.

I am also falling under the thrall of Mayhem's bug. It's a slow decline for me and, with the help of ginger tea and a lot of taking it easy, I should recover in time. Doesn't stop me feeling mildly like shit today though.

This morning promises to be serenaded by the Best Band in the World(tm) - Steam Powered Giraffe. They have a live youtube concert happening and my arse isn't shifting. I'm more motivated to get today's tale down, but it isn't happening in the immediate future because those robots are gorgeously distracting.

The stream's having technical issues, so maybe I have time...

We'll see.

Challenge #02136-E307: Sententiam Dei

War was always here. Before man was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner.- gesh xenobiologist -- Anon Guest

[AN: Since the Gesh are someone else's IP, I can't slot them into my Universe, but I know nothing of this world, so...]

Call me Combat. Since the first RNA chains struggled to combine in the first primordial ooze, I have been. I have not been engaged in activity, I just... existed. Divinities do not say, I think,

Read more »

Here's today's PLN

First: do my work stuff.

Second: change up my Ko-Fi so my goal is New Dishwasher.

Third: add photography of the air con so ppl can marvel at it

People who visit my Ko-fi page can already see my latest haircut, by the way. I can't afford to give these folks money so that photos aren't limited to people who pay to see it. Weird how that works.

Meh. I'm just going to keep being careful about what I choose to share.

Read more »

Challenge #02135-E306: It's a Bit Like Bognor

Humans have 3 states of existence. Yes, No, and hold my drink. -- Anon Guest

Thax had never met a Human before, but it was highly advisable that she get one for her expedition into the Edge Territories. The information available was... incredibly scant. Well. The information that wasn't also attached to an offensensitivity warning.

Humans have three states of existence, it said, Yes, No, and "Hold My Drink". They were Deathworlders, but they were also classed as "Mostly Harmless" until provoked.

Read more »

Air con at last!

I'm gonna have to change my Ko-fi goal.

That's happening soon. For now, I really should focus on doing my work, but a reader question crossed my path and I'm doing EXTENSIVE descriptions because headcannons are hard to communicate with words alone and your drawings take firkin days.

Today's story may be late because I'm writing a firkin novella in tumblr about my headcanons.

We apologise for the inconvenience.

Read more »

Challenge #02134-E305: Terms of Combat Have Changed

A single inescapable fact is that humanity united with infinitely greater purpose in pursuit of war than they ever did in pursuit of peace. -- Anon Guest

Humans are not good at sharing, they say. Their origin planet was divided into thousands of groups identifying themselves with borders, religion, and culture to define battling clusters. When all of those were in common, lines divided amongst economic, gender identity, skin tone, and creedic boundaries.

All it took was one contact with visiting alien

Read more »

Air Con Day!

Also cleaning day, but the prospect of unfucking the house again is not nearly as interesting as having an office I can actually work in and survive.

Chaos seems to have recovered from her lurgi, but Mayhem is taking longer to get there. He's got the rest of the week off. Chaos is back to school today with crossed fingers for her staying there without any ill effect.

The best news for the day is - the Democrats won the US House.

Read more »

Challenge #02133-E304: Forewarned is...

Humans love things that explode. "Ooh look! fireworks." -- Anon Guest

Things that Humans love that go bang in various ways: a list compiled by non-Humans.

  1. Popping candy. Effervescent crystals encapsulated in chocolate and sugar. When dissolving in saliva, produce a crackling sensation in the mouth and sinuses. Harmful to those with theobromine sensitivity, but otherwise mostly harmless. Offensensitivity rating: low.

  2. Popcorn. Grains originating from the American continents, heated until the water inside the grains bursts through their own hard casing. Consumed

Read more »

Delayed!

Today was supposed to be air con installation day. Except I got a phone call in the middle of my shrink appointment. One of the dudes who works there broke his wrist.

Again.

This is the trainee/apprentice/younger fellow of the crew, so I presume it's something silly like missing a rung on the ladder or something, but the appointments have to be more spaced out until the lad gets some of his dexterity back and I completely get it.

My

Read more »

Challenge #02133-E304: Mislaid

"Did anyone see a tank?"

"What colour was it?" -- Anon Guest

"Bright flakking red," said Human Jen. Like all things that came from a Human's mouth, it was difficult to tell whether that was sarcasm, a joke, or the truth. This was something of a hindrance in a Military Replica Driving Range.

Thorkak took a deep, cleansing breath, and tried again, "For clarity of understanding, are you searching for a mechanical tank, a fish tank, or a garment tank?"

Human Jen

Read more »

Early start, better finish?

I'm getting some of my work done before I'm meant to be up and about this morning. It just makes sense.

I had a scrum day, yesterday. There wasn't a moment to stop until firkin midday when the temperature in my office was too much to bear. So I had to go do everything in the bedroom and it was pure luck that I got it all done.

I am trying to get all the Patreon stuff posted as soon as I

Read more »

Challenge #02132-E303: Occam's Solution

"We do this every month, and it always ends the same way!"

"But I'm telling you it shouldn't! We change every variable every time."

"But never the most important variable -- YOU!" -- Anon Guest

The wizard Narbic Parvin Charm boggled at the heroes. "So I just have to sit and wait like a bump on a log while you do all the complicated things to open the unopenable door?"

"That's looking like the shape of it," said the leader of the

Read more »

Come on, air con!

It's getting stifling in my office. The air conditioning can't come soon enough, in my mind.

It's the 5th. I have a shrink visit tomorrow, and come Wednesday, the people come to install the air con at firkin last.

Busy half of this week, but worth it in the long run because I will no longer have time limits to work on stuff in the office.

I should be working faster but... I'm extra distracted today. This is what happens to me

Read more »

Challenge #02131-E302: Strangers in a Very Strange Land

planetary survey on new world gets progressively jaded as they meet real mythical animals -- Anon Guest

Welcome to Mythos. Here, there be dragons. For real, actual dragons. They don't breathe fire, but they do have an acidic spray from their own digestive tract that's almost as bad. Their original gengineers started with the largest Terran lizard - the komodo - and worked at it from there. They're sluggish and make nests out of shiny objects to attract their mates. Beyond that,

Read more »

That went... awful.

Here's how it went:

  1. Write Instant story
  2. Do the advertising for same
  3. Go out to Bunnings and find a door
  4. Wrestle door into tiny car
  5. Get door to destination
  6. Door too small >:(

Good thing I neglected to throw away the receipt and we can firkin sort out things today.

This time, we're measuring the doorway, taking those stats with us, and finding a door with a window in it for that.

Beloved and I.

Because my car is firkin tiny and theirs

Read more »