Menu

Subscribe

InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12341 posts

Challenge #02151-E322: Easily Entertained

Human: ha, dogs are so easily amused. I just watched this one Chase his tail for 15 minutes straight

Alien: You spent 15 minutes watching a dog chase its tail

Human: yeah, that's what I just said

Alien: and the dog is the one whose easily amused

Human: ...yes?

Alien: (sarcastically) okay, sure that makes sense -- OohLookShiny

The list of dangerous things in the known universe had once, paradoxically, contained entries on both "quiet humans" and "laughing humans". It has since been amended to simply "humans" with a link to all the various circumstances in which Humans can be dangerous.

A quiet Human, for example, can be harmless if they are also asleep. A laughing Human, on the other hand, could be up to anything. This one was leaning against a railing as they laughed, apparently fascinated by something below, whilst also moving one hand around randomly.

Drysoq, who had hired this Human as Security Beef[1], investigated. The vessel's litter of Skittens were tumbling around in a well, below, chasing after a single point of light. One controlled by the giggling Human Daz. "Need I be concerned about this?"

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 30 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

The Good Old Summertime?

It's edging towards official Summer, here in sunny Queensland. Of course, something, somewhere is on fire. Which is perfectly normal for my neck of the woods in this time of the year.

Not usually at 3AM though.

Aunty has had somewhere on fire near her - fire's out now though. I have a high sensitivity to knowing that somewhere's ignited and it just firkin adds to my sleepless issues in the Wee Small. Y'know. Alongside my somnalistic self-immolation.

Beloved has had some

Read more »

Challenge #02150-E321: Deal With the Deity

"I know that you are a higher being, like a god or something. But, for the love of everything that's sacred, can you please stop playing with the basic laws of physics for five minutes ?" -- Anon Guest

"Aw, but it's fun," said the Roaming Deity. A gesture made the Kobold Rogue now known as Lady Anthe float up to the ceiling again.

She bobbed around with a very put-upon expression on her tiny, draconic features. She had only shrieked once, when

Read more »

5hrs Sleep or Less!

Lesson 1: D&D Sessions can be LONG.

Lesson 2: Most of it is arguing.

Lesson 3: If you can give the crew a good belly laugh on your first try, you're good.

I fucked my stealth check on the first try, introduced that particular mechanic about my Kobold. Kind of stumbled into a puzzle quest and accidentally ended up being the bravest member of the party by being the last out of the room when it was a room full

Read more »

Challenge #02149-E320: Don't Wanna Live Underground

"Graham, there's some very large lizards down here. We should leave."

"After I've gotten these mineral samples. Anyway, it's only a lizard, what's the problem?"

"Its jaws are around my ankle." -- Anon Guest

Graham looked. This was just one among the many reasons why Planetary Survey Teams had combat-ready livesuits as part of their essential equipment. The lizard in question looked like a boa constrictor had somehow had children with a sarcosuchus and, owing to the subterranean environment, didn't have much

Read more »

Friday! Yay!

Today's the day that Gerroff starts their adventures. Tonight, myself and Mayhem will be trundling down to town to join in with a party of adventurers currently in the Underdark.

I'm excited.

My main task du jour is to focus enough that I can actually get shit done so I have the time to go and play.

Of course, Mayhem has been super-excited about going out to play, so he's talking a mile a minute. Keeping me derailed.

For the record, flipping

Read more »

Challenge #02148-E319: Mutual Flailing With Shouting

"Good news Commander, there is a settlement with enough material to repair our ship, the inhabitant seems more curious than afraid, and they are more than willing to trade the needed materials for help with theirs infrastructure. Mainly a water purifying station and a basic energy production facilities."

"Do they understand GalStand ?"

"That's the tricky part... That's a Vorax settlement..." -- Anon Guest

Can you imagine a surprise bigger than that? The Vorax have castes, and the most widely-known is the warrior

Read more »

GAAH!

Mayhem threw up again, this morning. His skin is looking a little sallow, too.

I'm worried that the medicos are going to demand they take his gallbladder out regardless of the possible benefits or definite detriments.

Fingers crossed, some sunshine will help him out.

My plns also include depositing my scratchings from this year into my Dreams account. Something for which requires my actual physical presence in the actual physical bank. Because my scratchings are a loose collection of random bills and

Read more »

Thursday again?

I just had one of the worst nights of my life, and it's partially my own fool fault.

1) I went to bed earlier (dumb)
2) I turned the air con from 'cool' to 'fan' earlier in the day and forgot to turn it back (dumber)
3) The mattress we chose some years ago has a layer that allegedly mimics human flesh for comfort. What it also does is retain heat like a motherfucker
4) I generate heat when I'm asleep. Major

Read more »

Challenge #02147-E318: Disturbing My Rest? Again?

"Why am I always either the meat shield or the distraction ?"

"Because you are the only one here that's immortal. And you got your regeneration thing."

"I may be immortal, but it doesn't change the fact that those pikes friggin hurt.... And it ruin my vest." -- Anon Guest

Never let anyone tell you that immortality is a blessing. Anyone with a lick of sense knows that it is a curse. It's even worse if you're immortal and an adventurer. Never mind

Read more »

Challenge #02146-E317: The Wrong Kind of Smart

"Look, it's very simple. Knowledge equals power, right? So it makes much more sense to reward people who are well educated, as well as people who can help apply that education for the benefit of everyone else."

"They ask too many questions." -- Anon Guest

Knowledge may be power, but an education is like a disease. As soon as you've got one, there's a compelled desire to spread it around. It's one of the reasons why you find oligarchies, plutocracies, theocracies, monocracies,

Read more »

Off to the Doctor's

I'm visiting the doctor and I'm not sure why. I have my suspicions [mental health plan] because it was my shrink who wanted it to happen.

It's happening in the morning, so I could plausibly do a coffee and bank run whilst I'm out and about with minimal impact on my energy levels. The only potential snag in this pln is that I had yet another 3AM consciousness episode, so I might yet be perpetuating the sleeplessness cycle.

Have no fear. I

Read more »

Challenge #02145-E316: Pass the Ductape and Praise the Powers

"Well yeah, it works, but could it be better?" at this point groaning wasn't stopping the human from trying -- Anon Guest

There are two kinds of Humans, though debates abound as to which kinds those two are. In this case, though, the division is between those who say, "What the flakk, it runs," and those who say, "Yes, I know it's working perfectly fine, but what if it worked better than that?" Human Andi was one among the latter.

Like most

Read more »

Coming Soon...

This Friday, I join up with a D&D group at Beloved's workplace. I may or may not have the little darlings in tow. That would make the evening more interesting, to be certain. And more expensive, since taking the train in is my pln for that evening.

I'm going to be documenting the adventures of Gerroff, a Kobold bard with an INT score of 10. They're agender and never saw why that was important. Whatever passes for puberty amongst Kobolds

Read more »

Challenge #02144-E315: Terrifying Obstacles

(Person 1) (Quietly): So now we have to somehow get across this long metal hallway without making any noise. How are we gonna do this?

(Person 2): Pulls out (very long) rolled-up carpet from their backpack -- TheDragonsFlame

Marvin looked down at Lady Anthe and the carpet that was still unfurling down the metal hallway. "Really?" he whispered. "Are you prepared for everything?"

"I like to be," she whispered, grinning as the final tassels landed with a soft 'thwup'. It didn't set

Read more »