InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12151 posts

Challenge #02111-E288: Rusty Heroism

You used to be the leader of a legendary squad of heroes who banished a great darkness from the world, your reward the blessing of agelessness should you be needed to vanquish future foes that may arise... and now the time has come where you’re needed again, as the once-banished darkness has risen from his arcane slumber a dozen centuries later.

The catch is that now all of you work in normal, 9 to 5 jobs at retail and such, well adjusted to ordinary life, because secretly being ancient legendary heroes doesn’t exactly guarantee a steady paycheck.

Gonna be interesting figuring a way for your team to covertly thwart the villainous machinations of the Black Bone King when your wizard is puzzling out a way to avoid getting stuck covering for that slacker Dave on nightshift for the third time in a row, and your healer is having a devil of a time getting a babysitter on short notice so close to the holiday weekend... -- Anon Guest

Saving the day comes with fame, but not fortune. Back in the day, there was such a thing as guaranteed employment and bosses who could understand that you had an emergency and had to dash off without notice. These days? Forget about it.

Immortality sucks, sometimes. One of those factors is remembering what it was like two or three generations ago. Up until the eighties, someone could literally walk into a workplace straight from an educational establishment and get a job that would last until retirement. Another one of those factors is being yelled at for being a lazy millennial by someone you used to babysit. By and large, though, the most annoying factor of immortality has to be explaining that you used to be a hero. Mistress Magnificence, aka Molly Mandragon, has long since given up on explaining that to anyone. She's long since given up on explaining anything to anyone.

Let alone explaining to a boss who understaffs and overworks by routine that 'a day off' means exactly that. So once her employers' diatribe is done, Molly sighs and says, "Yeah, no. I literally can't. I'm tied up in other things."

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Let's Have a Whole Weekend

My fic-less Saturday lasted for pretty much most of it. Then I got a prompt at chapter 17 of Tumbl Into TAZ and now I have more stuff to keep track of. Whee!

I have another fanfic prompt via Tumblr, so I'll be messing around with that today rather than getting on with any given one of my in-progress fics or the other ideas I have in my Plot Kittens File

I'm also going to begin tracking what I'm eating because my

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Challenge #02110-E287: Dealing in All Directions

"Ooh, look! Shiny!" -- OohLookShiny

Priff reached out to restrain the Human before ze even turned to look, saying, "Human Will. No." The main problem with Human Will was that they so very often lived up to their name. Whatever a Human should not do, that Human will.

"But it's so shiny," protested Human Will.

"Yes, it is shiny," agreed Priff, urging Human Will further away from the glittering display. "It is also expensive and very likely to be fragile. Do you

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Et Finis

No, I'm not done with my novel. I'm done with writing Free Katz and I'm taking a day off from fanfic. Mostly so my brain gremlins get sorted on which is going to be the next fanfic I do because some ideas are shinier than others and the gremlin debates are getting a bit wild.

I might put it up to a poll, using the fic ideas that have excerpts as potentials.

If I had anywhere to put up a poll besides

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Challenge #02109-E286: Meat-ing Place

The Galactic community knows that the human race is omnivorous and that they sometimes prefer meat when stranded or when supplies are low, willingly giving up one dietary options to any remaining crew in order to save them. It was a smart evolutionary path that many alien scholars believed was essential for surviving such a deadly world like Terra.

But no one could have foreseen how much the human race could love meat. Covet it. And fight for it so strongly that

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FUBAR Day!

Mayhem needs some paperwork signed at his traineeship. I, therefore, have to uproot my usual Friday routine, get a transit card, travel with Mayhem to the city, sign documents, travel back, go home, and then fulfil my usual daily tasks.

At least I'm taking my lappy with me so I can work on my novel in transit. One bright point is that I get my 1K words in relatively early so I can focus (ha!) on other things.

What it means to

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Challenge #02108-E285: Failed Medicine Check

"What happened?"

"The kobold was thirsty and drank some brandy by accident." -- Anon Guest

On the plus side, the enemy was getting a routing it never suspected from a foe they couldn't even focus on. On the minus side, this had to be doing something awful for Chrysanthemum's bodily systems. Dragonkin had different biology to mammalian lifeforms. A drop of alcohol might dull a human's senses, but to one of reptillian descent... It was like a plus three Potion of Haste.

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Edging Towards Normal?

So, my internet went do-lally at the exact same time that YouTube crashed, and I only learned it was a thing after some semblance of connectivity restored itself and I saw all the memes.

I missed an international event because my internet access was that shit.

Only I could roll a nat one on perception like that, folks.

It's cleaning day, so things might be delayed.

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Challenge #02107-E284: Picking Sides

“You’re fired from the War. In fact, you’re entire adrenaline-crazy species is fired from the War!”

“Umm... I don’t think that’s how that works.” -- Anon Guest

"Breach of contract," howled Admiral Nagisok. "I've been criminally mislead. You were supposed to excel at war."

"Yeah, we do," said Human Sam.

"LIES!" Nagisok pointed out to the battle map, where thousands of points of light were blinking on and off. "You've made this war far worse than it ever

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The Internet is So Slow

It's not fair. I only just got used to the relative breakneck speed of the NBN and now flood season has firkin ruined it with moisture adulterating the signal. I can barely get my normal shit done.

Good news: We have meat to satiate my little darlings' need for variety.

Bad news: It all needs packing up.

Good news: I have the gigantic crochet hook for my gaseous project.

Bad news: I have to go hunting for a really big ball of

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Challenge #02106-E283: Tech Support for the Undead

There is some things that I needed to adapt to when I first worked with Madam.

  1. She's a 500-years old vampire

  2. She is totally clueless about recent technologies (it's a miracle that she know how to use a floppy disk)

  3. She mixes nearly all slang from the last 5 centuries. -- Anon Guest

Lifelong employment, the advertisement read. Administrative assistant to long-lived nobility. Room and board included. Living wages, transport provided. I didn't believe it, of course. Something this good had to

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Oh, it's All So Nice...

There's an old comedy song and, like most old comedy songs, it hasn't aged well. I don't remember all of it because I have a mind like a steel seive, but the chorus has stuck with me.

Oh, it's all so nice in the nuthouse/ All alone in me little padded cell/ Oh it's all so nice in the nuthouse/ And the doctors and the nurses treat me well...

Today... promises to be one of those days where I wish someone else

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Challenge #02105-E282: Iconography

Scholars of the Galactic Alliance study ancient human gods; the likes of Apollo, Coyote, Mr. Rogers, Bob Ross, and Ronald McDonald. -- shkspr1048

"The changing roles of icons in culture is a fascinating process. Take this fellow," a picture of Apollo. "A figure from ancient Terran culture. He has been, at various times, the God of music, truth, prophecy, the sun, light, plague, and poetry. The Greeks and the Romans alike got things confused for a while, of course. After he faded

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Hello the Clusterfuck

Beloved hasn't done shit for the taxes save for printing their information, so now it's up to me to do the thing. Before Friday.

Fortunately, the local accountants are amenable and I have an appointment early tomorrow so I can get this shiznit out of the way ASAP.

Come next financial year, I am pestering Beloved to get things over with before their weekends are eaten alive by the Melbourne Cup Monster.

Things to look forward to - a new episode of

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Challenge #02104-E281: Miscommunication Malfunction

Human: "Now you're thinking like a human!"

Alien: Internally screaming -- Anon Guest

"No. I didn't-- I'm not-- I don't-- That was sarcasm, Human Jae..."

Human Jae looked briefly alarmed, "And that was a joke, Joyse. I was kidding."

Joyse breathed again. "Good. The last thing I want is to discover that Human Insanity is contagious. Please keep your joking to a minimum in this endeavour, thank you."

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