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Challenge #02106-E283: Tech Support for the Undead

There is some things that I needed to adapt to when I first worked with Madam.

  1. She's a 500-years old vampire

  2. She is totally clueless about recent technologies (it's a miracle that she know how to use a floppy disk)

  3. She mixes nearly all slang from the last 5 centuries. -- Anon Guest

Lifelong employment, the advertisement read. Administrative assistant to long-lived nobility. Room and board included. Living wages, transport provided. I didn't believe it, of course. Something this good had to be a catch. I scrolled down into the Further Information section and saw what the catch was.

Reply by post to the following address. Unsolicited visitors unwelcome.

I sighed and got out my Letter Writing Assistant and dialled up formal letter for the elderly for the guide on hints and tips. If they were something along the lines of an eighty-year-old fossil, then Copperplate Cursive was the font to go with. Fossils loved it when someone had "an elegant hand". The resumé was a professional, finely-polished work of art that co-incidentally obfuscated my gender and ethnic origin. It also obfuscated how often I supported myself with Etsy, Patreon, and Ko-fi. Fossils didn't like it when young people had too much time.

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