A 4-post collection

Challenge #02106-E283: Tech Support for the Undead

There is some things that I needed to adapt to when I first worked with Madam.

  1. She's a 500-years old vampire

  2. She is totally clueless about recent technologies (it's a miracle that she know how to use a floppy disk)

  3. She mixes nearly all slang from the last 5 centuries. -- Anon Guest

Lifelong employment, the advertisement read. Administrative assistant to long-lived nobility. Room and board included. Living wages, transport provided. I didn't believe it, of course. Something this good had to be a catch. I scrolled down into the Further Information section and saw what the catch was.

Reply by post to the following address. Unsolicited visitors unwelcome.

I sighed and got out my Letter Writing Assistant and dialled up formal letter for the elderly for the guide on hints and tips. If they were something along the lines of an eighty-year-old fossil, then Copperplate Cursive was the font to go with. Fossils loved it when someone had "an elegant hand". The resumé was a professional, finely-polished work of art that co-incidentally obfuscated my gender and ethnic origin. It also obfuscated how often I supported myself with Etsy, Patreon, and Ko-fi. Fossils didn't like it when young people had too much time.

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Challenge #01197-C102: The Eternal Soldier -- Gallifreya

He should have been 4F because he was 'allergic to sunlight' on his forms. But he told them that if he coated his exposed skin in zinc oxide, and wore sunglasses, he could deal. They gave him gloves to wear. And the fellows in the 40th Foot called him Warpaint. The enemy came to know him as The Ghost, owing to the fact that most of his sunscreen was white-only.

He could pass

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Challenge #01049-B317: Ashes to Ash...

The woes of an Italian vampire -- Gallifreya

[AN: Trying to write this without sounding racist]

I didn't know what I'd become when I stumbled home to Mama. I could remember an attack. I remember that the early dawn light burned my skin. I remember... being ill. Not being able to take in Mama's cooking. Being so thirsty. And always tired during the day.

Mama did what she could. She kept the sun away from

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Challenge #00566 - A191: Vampirism Sucks

A group of casual vampires, perhaps playing poker or lounging by the pool, with cheesy-looking coconuts with straws in, when in bursts a newbie vampire hunter who apparently got all his info from a book written before both the discovery of the coconut milk thing and safe volunteer blood donor procedures.

The sun had risen. Those in the pool had fled for the cabana at the first hint of light in the east. There, they applied zinc oxide very liberally to their

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