Amalgam Universe

A 2270-post collection

Challenge #02546-F356: The Piracy Solution

The incidents of piracy were dropping dramatically since humans came on the scene. It wasn't that noticeable, at first, but it soon became ever more apparent. The fighting prowess, and sheer terrifying ferociousness, of humans in battle was considered a part of the issue, but the odd thing was, many pirates were now giving up piracy for more honest, and often more profitable, trades. And almost always it was after tangling with humans. A study now was being conducted. Were humans, with their combat skills, to blame for this? Or was it their ability to pack-bond with all other species? Or was something else at work here? -- Anon Guest

But many a king on a first-class throne,
If he wants to call his crown his own,
Must manage somehow to get through
More dirty work than ever I do
-- Ancient Human Opera concerning piracy [AN: Thanks to elyrics.net ]

The Galactic Alliance is not an empire. Not exactly. The problem with empires is that they have to keep expanding their borders until they become too big for one centralised organisational structure to manage, and therefore fail and fall as all empires must. It is, however, a loose conglomeration of interstellar polities who have decided to put aside the various means of combat in favour of swapping cool things with each other in a system of mutually assured assistance.

It's amazing how many Human polities have trouble with this concept. They're Deathworlders. They can't help thinking of things in terms of who has the biggest and most fearsome means of destruction ready to hand. Fortunately, there are plenty of instances of self-sacrifice being the ultimate noble act in Human lore to gently remove any fingers from any associated triggers.

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Challenge #02543-F353: Good Kitty

A nonhuman deathworlder learning about major depressive disorder and suicidal ideation from a human so used to suffering from those that they treat the loss of their medication as an inconvenience, and apologize to the poor sap they got stranded with while they ask them to keep an eye out for self destructive behaviors.

"So, I've only got a few days worth of my meds, and it'll be at least a couple of weeks before we get rescued. Mind keeping an eye

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Challenge #02541-F351: Labels and Assumptions

Several humans were starting to get more than just a little annoyed at constantly being called insane. Even at school, when their kids would goof off during breaks or if the kids were in the park playing, others treated them as though they were mind-damaged. When they joined the Galactic Alliance, they thought they would be treated like equals, but instead, they find that they tend to be treated like savages even by other Deathworlders. Sometimes the view that, simply because they

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Challenge #02540-F350: Wandering Minds

On earth in various places, there are buskers. People who will put down a hat, box, bowl, or other container and then will play music, sing, or otherwise entertain in the hope of donations. Then there are the flash mobs. Large groups of individuals who will coordinate a time where they will come together. They will mill about in a crowd and then, at a predesignated time, one individual will throw off their jacket or other covering and, in costume, begin to

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Challenge #02538-F348: Goodnight Everybody

A: Ok look I only have a sawed shotty and a 9mm and I don’t want to fight anything that is bigger than a baby moose. Also if you see a bear follow this rhyme “brown lay down, black fight back, white good night”

B: but can’t you fight back with your weapons?

A: Yes and no. First off the bears in these regions are bulletproof, hell most bears are. More than anything firing this will piss them off

B:

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Challenge #02537-F347: Many Ways to Pack Bond

The havenworlders hire a human who docks their ship to the havenworlder's own larger research vessel and uses that for their quarters rather than what the havenworlders have provided. When asked why, the human simply responds "It's better this way." But does not care to elaborate. The reason behind the why becomes clear when a havenworlder goes in to bring a gift to the human that has become such a kind friend and asset, when the havenworlder hears horrific screaming coming from

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Challenge #02535-F345: One... Giant Leap

A human has fallen very much in love with another deathworlder. These deathworlders are only similar to humans in that they walk bipedal and have a human-ish shape to their faces, but that's about it. The human had been working aboard ship with the being for almost a year, the contract stated the human would be there for another four years, and they were trying to find out how to get the being to become interested in more than just .... well... friendship.

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Challenge #02534-F344: Designed For Disaster

There are reasons why humans coined the term “idiot proofing”, many MANY reasons -- Anon Guest

Make it idiot proof and the world will invent a better idiot -- Human engineering axiom.

It was a Human who came up with Murphy's Law, and further Humans who came up with all the associated corollaries. Humans investigated them all, invented science to prove them, and then invented science that provided vital analysis into the reasons why it was so.

All devices made by Humans

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Challenge #02533-F343: In the Eye of the Storm

Humans don't all celebrate Silly Seasons. Some find it disorienting, some have been damaged, some protest aspects of the culture/celebration in question, some just don't care, and occasionally they're not 'in the mood.' For those who've resigned themselves to the boisterous Silly Season, a human who doesn't conform to the human 'norm' is actually more alarming than everything else they've prepared to tolerate. -- Anon Guest

Silly Season is not a set festival, as many new to the Galactic Alliance

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Challenge #02531-F341: Conflict of Interests

Don’t worry we’re completely safe

explosion

Relatively safe

laughter in the distance

As long we don’t move from here, we’re safe

door flies open

I think it’s best if we leave -- Anon Guest

[AN: Nonny, you have hit one of my favourite tropes - the chain of circumstantial self-correction. I confess to laughing out loud]

There used to be two absolute certainties in the universe - death and taxes. However, after the Humans entered the Galactic

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Challenge #02530-F340: Love for All Creatures

Humankind will happily share/shelter tiny pets with/from the universe. Hamsters, flying squirrels, cats, parrots, sugar gliders, lizards and snakes, even dogs. As an unsocial person, I will socialize the heck out off my girl despite my discomfort. As a nonviolent person, I will murder anyone who lays a hand on my baby. How much would I love someone who protected my pet for me? -- Anon Guest

This wasn't the first time Human An had woken up in a medbay.

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Challenge #02528-F338: Meeting Bip and Bop

A human is always highly protective of a large front pocket of his shirt. He makes sure, when he puts on his skins, always clear ones never opaque, or his armor, that there's a space there, rather inefficient, but it's when a tiny head pokes out that people realize, he has a pet there. A sweet little sugar-glider that is his constant companion. Sure they're almost as fragile as a level 4 Havenworlder, but he loves his little pet very much. He

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Challenge #02527-F337: Expression Day

They had a thought. All this time the gravity drives seemed to have their own thoughts, their own personalities. But they never before had been given their own voice. It seemed a shame, really. They couldn't tell when they were upset, hurt, or needed to be fixed, these vital parts of any ship. The parts that most people treated as mere objects and often had lonely existences despite going through the expanses of space. So why not give them a voice? Give

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Challenge #02525-F335: Useful Obsession

Almost everyone has a collection of some sort. Some collect books, some do baseball cards, and others like stamps. Me? I love seeds. Every planet I've been to, and every ship I've been assigned to, one of the things I've always insisted upon as part of my contract as a bodyguard, or whatever, is this. In addition to my pay, I get ten packages of seeds. And they must be diverse packages, no duplicates. To ensure this, I give them a list

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Challenge #02524-F334: An Appeal

"On this show we talk about humans, and for the most part it's scary stuff. But not today. Because there is one thing you can't say to a human, "you can't"

Today we will tell the story of a human who was told, "You can't save everyone. You will just die trying" " -- Hyorky

Go hard or go home, -- Terran saying.

The two most fate-inducing words to say to a Human are, you can't. Humans will defy logic, reason, and the

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