Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02872-G315: Small Thrills, Big Day

A human's friend has been begging them for months to take them to Earth to a local event. Something that all humans could enjoy in one form or another. Something that was fun for all humans but didn't involve large explosions or things being destroyed. The human thought for a long moment and smiled, they had the most perfect idea. And that is how this level one havenworlder ended up sitting and trying deep fried cheese curds and onion rings for the first time, while sitting at a county fair. The human danced in a line dance, the havenworlder tried a merry-go-round, and there was fun and laughter late into the twilight hours. -- DaniAndShali

The Podunk County Fair didn't have fireworks. The budget didn't include it. What they did have was a car with comically oversized tyres squashing defunct vehicles with an option for plumes of smoke from its superstructure. It was not the world's hottest destination for thrillseekers. Well. Not for Human thrillseekers.

Only humanity could commodify this event by splashing HAVENWORLDER SAFE! in large, friendly letters all over the flyers. The result was an optimistic spiel from Companion Fluuph towards Human Ford, who was there for a holiday and family time.

The morning of the week-long Podunk County Fair dawned, and Human Ford put on her shoulder saddle after breakfast. She announced, "I'm takin' Chicken to the fair, any o' y'all comin'?" A small avian cogniscent like Fluuph may have been insulted by the nickname of "Chicken", but Fluuph was used to Humans and their peculiar ways. Besides, they did rather resemble the fluffier breeds of Terran domestic avians.

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Challenge #02871-G314: Cause and Effect

Haiku can be strange

Five, seven, and five again

Refrigerator -- Anon guest

There were magnets with words on them. Yet another Human invention that could be used for long-term communication and yet was still used for random art. For instance, the poetic form on the communal chilled food store. A thing that described itself and was still a joke. Typically Human.

Companion Zue considered the words scattered around the magnetic surface, and thought about the message she might leave for the

Challenge #02869-G312: Tolerance Levels

Human A: "Try this!"

Human B: "Is it hot?"

Human A: "No."

Human B: "Your not hot, or my not hot?"

Human A: "...it's not hot."

Human B: "..." takes a bite

Nonhuman Cremember: "Why is Human B crying while guzzling milk?"

Human A: "It's not hot!"

Human B: (takes a moment to stop guzzling milk)(snot and tears running down face) "I'm sensitive to capsaicin, and you eat raw ghost peppers for fun! Your 'not hot' is not my 'not hot'!" (goes

Challenge #02867-G310: Unexpected Bargain

A human, intent on preparing a treat for havenworlder shipmates, orders a large amount of sugar. Due to a mix-up somewhere along the line, this human receives a large delivery of sugarcane instead and, well, "waste not, want not" -- Anon Guest

"Wait. Why is this shipment in bales? I said 'boxes'..." Human Thal checked their invoice archives. "That's a 'B' in the receipt, but it doesn't say what that stands for... Oh shit, that's a big number..."

Something had yet again

Challenge #02865-G308: Actively Seeking Trouble

a continuation of this

“Yes a child would be perfect for unforeseen flaws.” Threp chuckled. Glorz glad seeing that their friend is chucking. Another person slides themselves in to the conversation “so, how many laws and regulations would this violate?” Threp replied “I remember humans have something called CPS by their standards, many.” -- Anon Guest

Threp and Glorz stared at Faera, who added, "Considering child labor laws, it may be more expensive to hire Human neophytes. Though they are a one-size-fits-most

Challenge #02864-G307: Aaw But They Look So Cute

My name? Not important. I'm a Xenobiologist. But some people know about my family. Sure our name's changed over the years, thankfully, but you can see old movies about them sometimes. I was born with an unusual gift. I can talk to animals. No, I'm not crazy, yes this has been very thoroughly been tested even with telepaths. I can talk to animals and they can understand me, and I can understand them. How is this possible? Good question, we never did

Challenge #02863-G306: Nothing That's Worth a Lot

A human had a poetry book that they took everywhere with them and enjoyed sitting and reading when they had time. Admittedly, time could be few and far between with their job. One poem she recited softly to herself from time to time had her liaison curious and he asked what it was she was muttering to herself. Her reply confused him because she stated it was a poem about nothing. But how could it be about nothing? All such works are

Challenge #02862-G305: Song of Triumph

For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself then he has naught, To say the things he truly feels, And not the words of one who kneels, The record shows I took the blows, And did it my way. -- Anon Guest

It was a Human song of triumph, so of course it contained references to violence and, because of the culture of origin, going it all alone. Which is ridiculous. Society doesn't exist on an individual basis.

Challenge #02861-G304: Well That Was Dumb

"Fuck!"

"Ow."

"...I'm bleeding." -- Anon Guest

Accidents happen quickly. Reactions to them differ. Humans have a shock response that insulates them from immediately feeling an injury. As a survival tactic, it's great for getting the people away from the threat, but in a more technologically advanced setting... it's disturbing to unprepared onlookers.

Human Dree had been working on something involving sharp tools and applied pressure. One of their multiple hobbies. The tool slipped, and the reaction was instant and automatic. "FLAKK!

Challenge #02860-G303: ART!

They had some pre-shattering videos they wanted to show their friends, a mixed group of havenworlders and level one and level two deathworlders. Once everyone was seated, they turned down the lights and began the video on the large screen. People, human-looking, painted up all in blue, playing techno music on improvised instruments. A fun, amusing, experience for the humans, but maybe a little confusing, if still fun, for everyone else.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkfqwlBzZN1b_H5DYQX7F9Vfdcu8uMrTi -- Blue Rules

Challenge #02858-G301: Enough Talk, Let's Fight

Humans fighting against claws and big animals were common things to watch in reports.

But the true, bloody fight is only when humans were fist-fighting against each other. Punching throats, kicking stomachs, smashing head against walls. -- Anon Guest

All around the Alliance, there is a genre of disturbing footage known as Humans Fighting Things. It is not generally recommended for Havenworlder viewing. Achivaas all over the Alliance and the Fellowship of Terran Planets alike scour it all to be sure that

Challenge #02855-G298: You Don't Have to Learn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOXB7348RPk -- Escla

Humans love music. They love to make it, they love to have it. It punctuates their lives, helps them focus, lifts their mood, and even lulls them to sleep. It permeates their cultures and can even entertain multitudes.

It can also be highly invasive, annoying, and a form of psychological warfare, and Humans know this. Especially Human Jo, who has been captured by enemy forces and is now one among many bargaining chips

Challenge #02853-G296: Sticky Plus Parts Equals Trouble

I would very much like to know what happened with the screwdriver and the lollipop in greater detail, please. -- Escla

[AN: The problem with Noodle Incidents is that the telling of the tale never matches the imagination resulting from the implications]

Pib was bored. Mama had fallen asleep, which meant that Pib could get into the no-no's. Pib knew it was naughty, but the no-no's were way more interesting than any of the allowed stuff. Most of the time the worst

Challenge #02852-G295: Her Name is Sweetums

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TDYDNTK_oo -- Anon Guest

It had to be a service animal, because it was wearing Medik red and Therapy black. Typical to Human delineation of 'pet', it had a small hat attached to its head via a loop of elastic. That, in combination for the vest/leash arrangement was a clear sign that the Human on the other end of the leash would rather sever a limb than part with the animal.

It was also

Challenge #02851-G294: Three Whacks With a Wet Noodle

Deathworlder parents mete out appropriate punishments to misbehaving deathworlder children. Chastisement to non-deathworlders is often much lighter, even if handed out by the same caregivers, and for good reason.

Human parent to human children: "Present butts!" (brandishes foam bat)

Human parent to non-human children: "I'm very disappointed in you" (pins children with The Look)

All children: "Wow, I got off easy compared to the other group" -- Anon Guest

[AN(&PSA): DO NOT BEAT YOUR CHILDREN FOR FLAKK'S SAKE! That is

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A 2288-post collection

Challenge #02872-G315: Small Thrills, Big Day

Challenge #02871-G314: Cause and Effect

Challenge #02869-G312: Tolerance Levels

Challenge #02867-G310: Unexpected Bargain

Challenge #02865-G308: Actively Seeking Trouble

Challenge #02864-G307: Aaw But They Look So Cute

Challenge #02863-G306: Nothing That's Worth a Lot

Challenge #02862-G305: Song of Triumph

Challenge #02861-G304: Well That Was Dumb

Challenge #02860-G303: ART!

Challenge #02858-G301: Enough Talk, Let's Fight

Challenge #02855-G298: You Don't Have to Learn

Challenge #02853-G296: Sticky Plus Parts Equals Trouble

Challenge #02852-G295: Her Name is Sweetums

Challenge #02851-G294: Three Whacks With a Wet Noodle