Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

I wrote a cursed book

Well, that's the half-joke. During most of 2014, I was working on a novel entitled Kung Fu Zombies, which threw a lampshade on every zombie trope and every kung fu trope I could make fit. And possibly a bunch of American survivalist tropes as well.

For all the fun I had writing the bloody thing - my life went sideways in a big way. Disasters big and small plagued my life. Culminating in the death of my father barely a week before Christmas.

I had started by joking that the book was cursed. It... stopped really being a joke before I was done with writing it.

When I put it to bed before I got the editing suggestions back, the curse seemed to stop. Alas, all my usually reliable beta readers had their lives turn sideways and it took me ten months (the span of time it took to write my next book) to get anything back.

Getting this book out of my hands has been a pain in the arse.

And now that I've been working on a synopsis for the agent - I've edited a few minor mistakes in the bloody thing that skipped everyone else's eye. So of course my mother's house is threatened and Chaos catches something that blows out her throat.

It might be co-incidence? But if they ever want my help in writing the script, I will politely decline. Besides, I suck at scripts.

And that's the brief version of what I call the KFZ curse. May it land on nobody else, ever.

Since I seriously began working on getting this thing paper-published, I have had back-to-back sleepless nights with added asthma. There has been sickness in the house and a general veil of executive dysfunction thrown over my fuzzy little brain. About the only bright point I have is that very soon, I shall have an e-copy of SPG's Quintessential to annoy the house with. So once again, my favourite band is the bright point in the darkness.

That, and the fact that once it's finally shipped off, it's someone else's problem.

Challenge #01317-C222: For Hate's Sake...

"You idiot! Can't you see this will hurt both of us?"

"Well yes, but it'll hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt me, and I can live with that." -- OohLookShiny

There were things she could never talk about. And one of them was the battle of wits with a godlike being.

They could make their arena look like anything. Be made out of anything. They could cast a glamour so powerful that it overwhelmed her. But there was always that

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Is there a cure for Fail yet?

I started my morning at 3AM, following a dream in which I saw a partial clip for a new music video from the best band in the world] The bit I remember is Chelsea and Camille doing Busby Berkeley style ballet on giant red steps while dressed in articulated metal snowflake costumes.

My subconscious is a very strange place.

And the thing that ALWAYS happens when I dream about my absolute favourites happened - I woke up. But I also woke up

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Challenge #01316-C221: Random Encounter

Pick your favourite cartoon character, print or media and have them meet/interact with another. -- Knitnan

[AN: You do realise SPG have their own webcomic right? but I'll play this straight this time]

"That wormhole really did a number on me," mumbled Sylvia. "Where the flarf are we?"

"I have no idea," Wander chirped. He had made a campfire and was roasting something on a stick. "But the beach is lovely and there's a cute little town on the other side

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I fail at human

My brain, as Thomas Dolby once sang, is like a sieve. I don't intend to forget things? But... it happens.

And when one of those things is as simple as checking my email as part of the process that makes sure my mother is still okay... I really fail at human.

Aliens, come take me away, because I am very obviously not of this world.

I'm at the stage where I have to scribe reminders on the back of my hand or

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Challenge #01315-C220: Get Lost!

To get really lost you need a GPS without updated maps, or worse with proposed routes entered as functioning. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Did I tell anyone that story? Stay tuned to my tumblr feed today for the full thing]

"Turn left at the fork."

"What?" said Tirla. "This thing is clearly showing a right turn at the fork."

"Turn left at the fork," said the mechanical voice.

"It's still a few hundred SDU's. We can slow down and see which way

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Anxiety sucks

I've been having a little executive dysfunction, lately. Dawdling about things because I'm secretly scared of everything that could possibly go wrong. And everything that could impossibly go wrong, too. Because I like scaring myself, apparently.

As I frequently say when I give myself the horrors, my brain hates me.

I still don't know why I'm scared to send in the tax form to Smashwords. It's just one of the many things about me that make no sense whatsoever.

And I'm

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Challenge #01314-C219: The Long Days

These things are sent to try us and they certainly do. -- Anon Guest

All of the longest days start in the wee small hours. Haven't you noticed? They begin with the nightmare. The terrors. The loud neighbour who accidentally or on purpose blasts five seconds of noise into the air. Or the telemarketer who calls without realising the time where you live. Or the obnoxious party relative who drunk-dials you for no real reason, or under the mistaken assumption that your

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Weekends, Hooray!

I love weekends. They give me a chance to fart around and do nothing much.

Since I spend my Fridays doing 1K, it means that Saturday and Sunday are both days to laze around and faff about. Both are important parts of the writing cycle. Both lead to excessive amounts of daydreaming which lead to more fiction! Yay!

In my case, it means fiction that I don't have to write, which you will get to see over on my baby forum whenever

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Challenge #01313-C218: No, You Got it Wrong

This is a quote from a Robert Heinlein story. "Always have your pants, your shoes, and your gun where you can find them in the dark." -- Anon Guest

[AN: I fixed your typos, Nonny]

The patient came in with a limb injury. Relatively harmless, but perplexing in the entry and exit trajectory. What added further confusion was the fact that they had a side-arm tangled in their toes, and a white-knuckled grip on one of their boots.

There was some evidence

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Wiki Walks and how they fuel me

For those who've never been on one, a Wiki Walk is where you look up one topic [for example, on wikipedia] and follow interesting areas down a rabbit-hole. Only to emerge somewhere around Real Ghost Stories or Cryptids Near Me wondering how the hell you got there from where you started.

Today's Wiki walk started with Extra Credit - which covers a lot of interesting things, including various languages you can tell a story to an audience in, and I'm not talking

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Challenge #01312-C217: Unsuitable Revival

"What's a Fairy Floss machine? Is it some kind of weapon of mass destruction?

"You probably call it Cotton Candy."

"Nope! Never heard of it."

"Look I'll show you how it works."

10 minutes and 300plus small children later.

"You know, it just might be a weapon of mass destruction." -- Anon Guest

There are phrases of doom. "Hey watch this," coming from a human, is a sure sign that something impressively dangerous is about to happen. Shayde has hundreds of them,

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I'm running contest

I'm pretty darn close to having 300 followers who aren't porn blogs, so I'm doing a thank you give-away of both books and hand-made earrings. Follow the link for all details.

So not only do you have a chance of winning some excellent writing but also some of my hand-made jewelry featured in the original post. Get to it, dear readers!

In other news, I have recently heard that my stories are excellent cures for at least one relative's insomnia. Thanks. I

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Challenge #01311-C216: Relative Insanity

"Maybe you should consider it. Who knows, you might even have...” [Person] stopped and whispered conspiratorially, “fun!"

"That's not a word, I'd have heard of it," was their flat reply. They held a straight face just long enough for [Person] to look horrified before they laughed. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the fearsome forces in the universe, none is more terrifying than these two words issuing forth from a human mouth, "I'm bored."

Rael hadn't even known that he could get shivers up

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Well that sure worked

It was census night last night. Fortunately, in an effort to go paperless, the Aussie Government decided to allow the citizens to fill out all the census information online.

UNfortunately, this was a massive cock-up because the people running this country have no idea what happens when about twenty-three million people attempt to log into the same URL at once. They could have looked up "DOS attack" before they started. Really.

Also unfortunately, lots of the old-fashioned paper forms have been lost

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