"I'm not stupid, I'm not expendable, and I'm not going." Originally Kerr Avon Blake's 7. Write your own. -- Knitnan
She expected resistance. She expected hostility. Even in the face of clear and present adversity. What she hadn't expected was absolute and raw hostility.
"Mr President, I'm here to help you."
He made words come out of that ugly sneer on his face. "Go back to Iraq, you filthy Muslim! What the hell are you doing out of the seraglio anyway?"
"Sir, I'm from DesMoines, Iowa. And I'm a Sikh, not a Muslim. I'm also the most highly-decorated soldier in your army and it's my job to get you safely out of this situation. If you can't deal with that, sir, then I suggest you at least shut the fuck up so that you don't arrive in the safe zone with some new broken bones. Are we clear?"
"Get that rag off your head and use it to clean the kitchen countertops before you make me a sandwich, you stupid bitch!"
She took that as a 'no'. Therefore she did a neat little manoeuvre that grabbed him by the collar and simultaneously drew him closer while also cutting off his air.
"Let me make this clear. Sir. I am your one and only hope to get out of this alive. Note the lack of 'and unharmed'. It is now up to you to decide how harmed you are by the time we reach the safe zone. If you deigned to read the reports that cross your desk, you would know that I trained in this nation's army and did four tours of duty in foreign soil without once getting shot or molested and that should say plenty about me. Are. We. CLEAR?"
She let him breathe after he nodded. "Good," she cooed. "They have mortar rockets. We don't. The only part of my body that you are allowed to touch is my hand. Lay your hands anywhere else and I will break them. Understood?"
His piggy little eyes had gone wide, and his big mouth, for a change, had shut. He nodded, jowls flapping.
He managed to arrive in the safe zone with a broken finger as a gentle reminder that she was not screwing around when she warned him. Her commanding officers were remarkably deaf about his complaints in regards to her rough treatment of their Commander in Chief. In fact, they were remarkably deaf about everything he said, right up until they locked him and his vice president in a safe room capable of seeing them through a nuclear holocaust.
And after that, he just couldn't contact anyone.
The president emerged some time after peace had been restored. Thinner, paler, and just as ignorant. But now, the nation had turned against him. He had survived, relatively unscathed, when the entire nation had suffered. They wanted someone to blame, and turned their eyes hatefully towards the man in the expensive suit that still lived in the huge, white, house.
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