InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12543 posts

Challenge #01620-D159: Dog or Not Dog?

https://iopele.tumblr.com/post/161055518912/roachpatrol-thefingerfuckingfemalefury

"there’s an educational trivia game at the citadel on the exhibits on different planets called “Dog or Not?” that shows pictures of various four legged mammals and asks if they’re a breed of dog.

it was mainly for kids to learn about the diversity of earth’s flora and fauna but it became popular with adult aliens too and had to be shut down after almost causing no less than three diplomatic incidents.

they brought it to the nexus and it’s caused two more so far" (more at the link) -- CallMeGallifreya

Some called the game Dog or Not Dog? because many species are literal-minded and don't understand an open negation. Those who did, left the terminal noun unsaid. And it was the single most infuriating game known to the Galactic Alliance.

Dogs, along with ductape, were Humanity's Advance Ambassador. Going to places where humans were not allowed. A trained predator that could be tasked with anything. They even had breeds that could keep their still-fragile young from harm. There were ones big enough to be steeds and, confusingly, steeds small enough to be dogs. And many other fur-bearing mammals that could be confused for dogs.

It was the game that everyone loved to be frustrated at.

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So I went and saw _The Mummy_ yesterday

Beloved is still a fan of Tom "gone completely gonzo" Cruise for reasons that I do not understand. And I have to say that Universal really should have stayed with the Brendan Fraser Mummy movies because those were made of awesome. Well. The first one was made of awesome. The rest had increasing concentrations of suck.

You all know about the 'sweet spots' in the movie frame, thanks to the links I put into yesterday's rant about Pervy Cam. Well, let me

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Challenge #01619-D158: This is the Best Thing

Super person comes to rescue of someone they are really Big Fans of. Marvel, D.C. Whatever.

Brownie points for "OMG! You're Them!" moment. -- Knitnan

Being a Power isn't as much fun as the comic books would make you believe. For a start, the seemingly endless battles with the Big Bad hardly ever happen. And when they do, it's not something you want to live through. Most of my life is patrolling the streets and trying to stop trouble before it

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Tropes That Annoy Me: Pervy Cam

It's in every romcom. It sometimes appears when the Action Gal cleans up for some undercover espionage at some high-ticket gala. It's definitely there when the lead female in any procedural drama has a flashy new outfit.

The camera pans from her shoes, lovingly framing her torso, and cuts away within a few seconds of seeing her expression so the viewers can see the extended look of awe/appreciation on the person viewing her1.

That's just one trick of Pervy Cam.

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Challenge #01618-D157: Worms?

Earworms, those tunes that get into your head and drive you nuts, from jingles to inane pop tunes. -- Anon Guest

There was something wrong with Human Steve. All the K'shardi could detect it, even those who were not skilled at detecting flaws in the ship's human. It was the way that Human Steve kept wincing and flinching that set everyone on edge.

Humans were Deathworlders. Deathworlders were very hard to permanently harm. Therefore, anything that annoyed a Deathworlder had to be

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Tropes That Annoy Me: Incredible Age Gap

Of all the romance tropes that exist, it's the older-guy, twenty-something gal that's the most irritating, and it ties directly to this trope here. Men get old, women get replaced.

It's almost as if all women are worth is how good they look. This is evidenced in all the post-makeover shots where the camera lovingly pans up the beautified girl in question from the tips of her toes... but doesn't always make it all the way to her face.

I call it

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Challenge #01617-D156: Reaching Out

What if someone decided they would not 'Get Even', what if they thought this 'payback with interest has gone on long enough' and just walked away from the whole mess. -- Knitnan

Those who fail to learn from the lessons of history, it is said, are doomed to repeat them. This is not just limited to those who fail their History tests. The moving finger may have written, but it tends to write in circles. Ninety percent of all wars are declared

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Tropes That Annoy Me: Surprise Sex

We've all seen that movie. Action Guy and Action Gal or Damsel Gal do not get along for the entire firkin movie. Except near the third act when they kiss for no good reason and then suddenly have sex.

Sometimes, they don't even kiss. They just go at each other in a sudden and unexpected display of lust.

It's so far out of left field that it's circumnavigated the globe and come in from the right field.

And it's supremely annoying.

Especially

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Challenge #01616-D155: But What is it For?

Soft Teddy bears given to people in stress, usually children who are hurt or rescued. The thing about Teddy Bears is they don't judge you, they are just soft, and smiling and invite a shared hug. -- Knitnan

Pulled from a lifepod. Still in shock. Bright lights and confusing noises and too much. Far too much. Way too much to deal with at once. People in frightening suits all getting into her face. She didn't know anyone. Didn't know where she was

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Round Round Run Around...

I'm run around...

For some reason, the post office likes to send you texts about your parcel WAY after they're closed. Maybe they're arsehats. I dunno. But this morning's trail of confusion also involves a trip to North Lakes to get the parcel I don't even remember ordering.

Nothing I've put into the works has shipped yet, as I recall...

Anyway, I will find out what it is soon enough. My flight path coincides with opening hours, so I'll see what I

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Challenge #01615-D154: MWA-HAHAHA!

"You think I'm evil? Well, am I evil just because I want to kill you? Am I evil just because I would rather tear you limb from limb and watch you bleed out one at a time, and I’m genuinely sad I won’t be able to before your friends arrive? Am I evil just because after I’m done here I’m going to go to your town and slaughter everyone you have ever loved out of pure spite?"

"W-what?

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Tropes That Annoy Me: Black Dude Dies First

For those who haven't realised the predominance of dead Tokens, read here first in which the token black guy [and sometimes black gal] gets a target drawn on them the instant the Big Bad is out to get the good guys.

Running along side Bury Your Gays, the audience is pretty much trained to expect anyone not cis, het, and white to bite the big one when the stakes are raised. They apparently deserve it for not being cishet white people.

It's

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Challenge #01614-D153: What Were We Talking About?

:tail-end of a discussion:

...and mid- to late- 20th century geopolitics still has absolutely nothing to do with Slenderman. How the hell did we get here anyways? -- RecklessPrudence

Info-nets are not always informative. Many take the forum as a means to communicate about whatever they wish to share at the time. Especially the humans. Fortunately, humans also invented the concept of a Moderator, whose job it was to re-train wandering threads, extinguish the flame wars, and hose out the spam.

Interestingly,

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Still recovering

At least I have the energy to stay awake for most of the day now. A day that I plan to spend on very little that's productive in a meaningful way.

So you get a story out of me and then I vanish into Minecraft to maybe finish the sorting system in my personal world.

Later on in the day, we'll gather around a warm TV set to watch Doctor Who and maybe catch up on Steven Universe. If our downloading system

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Challenge #01613-D152: Quality Control

"Nothing says unprofessional like wrinkles in the duct tape." -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the useful concepts and handy inventions that the humans took into space with them, the most widely-dispersed was ductape. It even preceded dogs as an ambassador for humanity. A watertight adhesive patch that could be shaped to suit the user's needs. Cut to demand. Flexible. And infinitely useful.

After a few hundred years, standards for its use grew. Including the quality of the user based on how ze applied

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