InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12159 posts

Best-laid PLNs

I had planned to get some spare change counted, on our travels yesterday. But the banks don't operate on weekends. On the plus side, I got a new keyboard and mouse out of it so that Beloved and I can play a better quality of game together. The downside is that the spiffy new keyboard won't work with a mac.

Sigh.

The mouse looks pretty awesome, though. I just wish I knew how to change all its colours according to my whims.

Whims that either make it glow in Steam Powered Giraffe colours, or make it look like it's powered by the fictional Blue Matter. Because I am a huge nerd.

Today, Beloved is going to get a cool gaming keyboard that actually works with Macs or, as I highly suspect, an upgrade for my old PC tower that is currently hosting spiders in the shed. Finally. The chipset build in that thing is only a couple of years younger than Mayhem.

That's like a few thousand years old in computer time.

Plus, there's no sense in having a spiffytastic keyboard and mouse if it goes on an outdated, piece-of-crap PC.

We'll see how the day goes. Beloved still isn't awake just yet.

Meanwhile, Kung Fu Zombies is live on Smashwords as an ebook, pending premium distribution. You can buy it as an ebook there or hop over to Lulu and get yourself a copy in dead tree format. [Spruik, spruik, spruik].

I've sent a letter of enquiry to the nice people behind Libro*FM which is the only known site that promises to publish audiobooks without also having them published on Amazon first. They've yet to get back to me, though. So... fingers crossed.

I might get back onto the tropes soon, though.

Challenge #01585-D124: What if--?

:Upon being told the superhero they're looking at is at some point going to go on a rampage and destroy the world:

"Well, what's your reasoning then? Because I'm having a hard time reconciling the guy currently pulling a kitten out of a tree with the Death Star." -- RecklessPrudence

He'd just extinguished the fire in a burning high-rise, prevented a multi-car pile-up, and was now making cootchie-coo noises at a small kitten that was stuck up a tree. He could have

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Squeeful news!

The best band in the world, Steam Powered Giraffe, have announced that they're printing one of their albums on Vinyl!

Yes, folks, you too could own a bright yellow LP of Music From Steamworld Heist. Which the band is printing as a test subject, (a) to see whether or not this is a profitable venture, and (b) because that's the only album that will fit. All the others would be double albums or, in the case of The Vice Quadrant: A Space

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Challenge #01584-D123: Ancient Wisdom?

:Said in a tone of imparting great wisdom, to someone who does not speak Norwegian:

Aldri skal gi deg opp. Aldri skal la deg ned, gonna aldri løpe rundt og svikte deg. Aldri skal gjøre deg gråte. ĺ aldri si farvel. Aldri skal fortelle en løgn og skade deg

(https://translate.google.com.au/) -- RecklessPrudence

"Please?" they said. "Give us some words of wisdom from Ancient Earth?" They had a handful of Hours as an offering.

Maybe it was their adoring

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Don't Panic!

The best advice comes from Douglas Adams. The best snark comes from Terry Pratchett.

The nurse did finally turn up. Huzzah. Antibiotics administered, one more such dose before Beloved is on the pill form and life can return to something passing for normal.

The cleaners also came and now I have like $15 (not counting my change) to pay for all assorted noise. I'm going to get my silver coins counted after I'm done with my Instant, today. Maybe that will make

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Challenge #01583-D122: The Word Escapes

English is also a loose cannon cop-on-the-edge who doesn't play by the rules and will do horrible, horrible things if it solves the short-term problem in front of him. -- RecklessPrudence

There are moments when words escape the speaker. Rational thought, too, takes a temporary holiday and necessity mothers a great deal of illogical invention.

"I need a new..." the next word fled to the furthest reaches of Kathmandu. "...um..." What was the dang word for it? People were staring. She needed

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Beloved is doing well

They're back from the hospital and currently overdue to get more IV antibiotics care of some mobile nurses who have yet to frikkin ring. They were supposed to ring at 7:30 this morning and have yet to say 'boo' to us.

It's gone past nine and I'm more than a little bit worried.

The good news is that the red has faded and so has the intense heat. The foot's still warm but we hope that that's a sign of healing

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Challenge #01582-D121: A Very Bad Idea

Never judge a Baby Show. One, only one mother likes you. The rest are deeply offended. -- Knitnan

London's East End, 1950-something.

The nurses of Nonnatus House were run off their feet with their work. As were most of the nuns. Babies and anxious parents were flocking the hall, and the resultant rabble was almost deafening.

"And whose idea was it to use a baby show as a fund-raiser?" complained Trixie.

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We interrupt our scheduled ranting...

To deliver something in the degree of bad news. My Beloved is in hospital -don't panic!- they're getting some IV antibiotics and, once that's done, all should be well.

You know how I am about qualifiers, so you can guess I'm trying to keep calm about this noise and failing.

The Story...

Thursday evening. Beloved takes their shoes off and reveals an absolutely NASTY welt that looks, to me, like a spider bite. No matter what we tell foreigners, there are

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Challenge #01581-D120: Something For Everyone

There are some entertainments that have a guaranteed audience. If you can find the cast you will have an audience. Which explains why Swan Lake is such a regular item in ballet companies and why people dress up for Tristan and Isolde when they stage Wagner's ring cycle. -- Anon Guest

The more things change, they say, the more they remain the same. In five hundred years, one thing had stayed true. Soap opera. Some were so popular that one episode ran

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Tropes I despise: Fridged Women

I gave y'all a link to the trope, yesterday, but... in case you missed it, the main goal of the trope is to do horrible things to women because their man character needs motivation.

Or because they couldn't write a stable relationship to save their own butts.

Or because they have no clue how to write a woman once she stops being a love interest and starts being a life partner.

Last iteration of this that I encountered was... just before this

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Challenge #01580-D119: Alto-nate Talent

Alto. Never to sing those high intricate vocal solos beloved of Opera fans. Altos get stuck in the choir. -- Knitnan

Keep the tune. Keep the rhythm. Let the sopranos, the tenors and the basso profundos drown you out. That's all the Altos are good for, they say. That and pop music, which is famously lacking in melody[1], and famously full of atonal yelling down the microphones. Which was all too bad, because Gail loved to sing, and she was an

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May Day!

It's the first of May and, for reasons currently unknown to me, it's a public holiday. I'm certain someone will inform me as to why it's important, but I'll probably forget inside of a month unless you tell it as an interesting story.

I only learned what a 'creel' was after the tenth iteration of MeMum yelling at Roger Ramjet. FYI, it's a basket or box used for fishing gear and/or fishing catch.

In other news - we found a shop

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Challenge #01579-D118: Care and Attention to Detail

Something made for the buyer/giftee only, made to fit Them. -- Anon Guest

Getting used to a new Anywhere was an emotional task. Different customs. Different standards. Different ways of making clothing. Different standards of decency. And very different ways to treat people. This place... this new home of hers, was so very different from the home she still sickened for.

It started with the medical treatment. Waking up inside a medical coffin is no great for a claustrophobe. But... for

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Getting Organised

Organisation comes as naturally to me as dancing on the ceiling. But, little by little, some sense of order is emerging slowly from the chaos. We have a fortnight, just about, to have everything in a row for our trip to Adelaide and the week in the Murray. Including a stop-over at MeMum's for a combo Mother's Day and Gift Exchange. Exact day and time to be determined.

I have a LOT of clothes to wash. Mount Laundry has been gathered from

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